To Conquer

As the stars collide 

A time to come 

Need for more 

To conquer the nafs

To seek the hope 

To conquer the darkness 

Consuming the light 

Bringing hope near and dear 

The mind is complex 

As each minute passes

Breaking point 

Where to go from here? 

Hoping for something more 

Wanting, needing, having. 

Fall into my knees 

As I plea with thee

Who but Allah the Almighty

Help me breath

Taking deep breathes 

To center my soul

The stars collide 

Causing a climax within the mind 

Upon time to tell 

Another story is on the mend 

Hoping for now 

Taking something, something more 

Finding peace 

Destruction on the bend 

I shall conquer all 

For I am free to be 

Fully maniac schizoaffective being

Is this the meaning of life? 

Only time shall tell 

What will hope hold...

To keep the faith

To hold sanity 

Is this deemed for me 

Insanity is near and dear 

Unstable on the mend 

Shall I defend 

Against the najs desires

The times that be

We are free to believe 

Free to hope

So never lose self

Hold into the Noor 

lucid hope

A drop upon time

But a moment so lucid

Feeling content, feeling lost

Hoping for hopefulness

Losing self

Comprehending what is happiness

Is it but an illusion

Happiness leads to mania

A drop of time

Demanding what is mine

Upon this Day, insanity as it may

Maniac upon the bend

Truly I cannot be on the mend 

Up down all around

The glimmers that be

The patterns that stare

On the mend?

Shall I depend

1 2 3

One pill two pill three pill more

Holding on

Wanting more

Seeking something

Unable to comprehend

Shall I leap, upon the deeds that be

In this wake of insanity

I truly shall be

A shine through this world

Hoping for better days

Before disaster ends

Holding on to anger

Where to go from here

The rage burns on

Wanting something more

Shall I ever find?

I wonder upon these days of insanity

Only to fall down to breathe final breath to hold them in to let them go upon this mend

Truly I shall depend

Lovely as I can be

Finally shall I be free

Is this what is destiny

Fuming

Hitting the match on the mark

Pulling in the deep breath

Fuming to the box

Bursting at the brim

It calls me, the rage within

Unable to comprehend

Fall into my knees

Devastate my soul

Unable to believe

Wanting nothing but the flame to desire more

Ready myself

Taking thy right, striking is insanity

Freaking out, wanting the mania to consume

The rage goes on

This is not me

I am conquered by my nafs

Jihad against the mental illness

Where to go from here?

Broken beyond the mend

What will I recommend?

To have skills to acquire

Are worthless unless you inquire

For it be skills before pills

But can these skills overcome the rage

As it goes on within my heart

I want nothing but to die

But here I am with my jihad

Fighting against my every being

Darkness is here and near

A light may come knocking

Open that door

Bring in the Noor

Serenity is what is needed

For God to grant me serenity

So I can have the courage to change

Knowing that the wisdom will bring me far

To conquer the Nafs

To bring in light

To fight the rage

To sip on serenity

For I am free

To choose my destiny

Upon Reality

Upside reality

Dare I dream upon

The Stars that's cast across the sky

As a shining light drifts, with chaos

Coming to an end

Shall I bare what seems to drive my soul

Upon insanity drifting within the heart

What do I see?

Shifting the patterns

They stare, wanting nothing but to break

Break reality

Is this what's destined?

I breathe finally

Will I be free?

Or

Will I break!

Thought in mind

Where to go?

The sky is falling

Disaster here

Delusional upon the mend

Hopeless within the heart

Confused with what reality is

Is this what a dream?

Upon what we think what reality is

Knock knock who's there

Faith, lose not hope

Scraping to the surface

To finally breathe, what's destined for me

Paranoia on the bend

The illusions will truly mend

Losing self to the end

Where will I go?

I'm low and I'm high

What does that define

Within time shall I die

Unknown is the world this time

Up and down and all around

Insanity on time

What does it mean?

When will I be free

Stuck in the infinity circle

Infinite emotions that hit me midnight ponder on time

Wondering within the night

If I should've fleed from this

Stuck in the best

Sucking in all the hot air

Blowing out the candles, make a wish or two

Hope for something more

Hope to be on time

The emotions are set

What shall be next?

Upon time shall tell

Currents of Emotions

The current moves

Flowing within time

The current moves

Wishing and washing upon the sky

Emotions spread out

To let them flow

Seeking hope, finding absolute disaster

Wanting, and needing

Finding what, but the solitude

Fallen to the ground

Weeping upon the hourglass

The sand moves, glistens, and sparkles

Catching my nafs

Leaving the najs at Bay

To hold onto sanity

Is this greed?

Wanting nothing but peace

Looking for all the medication

1 2.....something more

To take the deadly deed

To be full of insanity

What will save me from myself?

I'm trying to conquer my desires

Trying my best

Truly I am but a mess

Disaster here and dear

Feeling emotions on the spot

Surely I shall not dawdle

To reach for the Noor

Grasping what sanity is

Well I finally overcome

Or shall this be my destiny

To be content

To be happy even within the darkness

To find the light

To acquire hope

Wanting something more

Seeking something

That shall cure the emptiness

I'm so empty inside I want to die

I just want to feel alive

Not letting the mania take control

Schizo to the max

Well I overcome such

Seems to be a lifetime thing

As time goes on, the insanity flows

With the current that goes

With all the emotions that flow

Finding something, that is peace

Finding self to acquire hope

I am me

Free destined for insanity

The chaos is amuck

Allowing the light to consume

I can upon light, hope, charity

Who or what will answer me

To hold onto save

Finding nothing but Allah

The authority of all

He answers all, even when you have no words

Having hope

Not losing self identity

Muslim perfectly imperfect what am I but humanity

So pray, seek another day

bound to collide

Motionless in the timeless space

Stars collide, tearing the Galaxy into pieces

Frozen unable to comprehend

Ripped in two

For the Jekyll in the hyde

Surrounds my bearing

I am but motionless

Bearing nothing but emotion

As they collide with one another

Ripping my soul into pieces

I am but lost 

Dare I say on the mend

Casting the first stone

Causing the ripples to disperse

The chaos is deemed

What's right for me

I shall not give in

To the darkness that knocks

Dragging your Eman

Knocking at the shackles

I am but free

Free to choose

To conquer the light

To hold on to the darkness

To keep it at Bay

To let it slumber

To let the light in

To bring the hope

Wanting something more

Reaching for sanity

Surely I will breathe

Bringing nothing but lovely deeds

To strive for good, conquering the darkness

Blessed be full of insanity 

I am but me