holding on to being

Waking up, holding tight the air from within

Breaking my hand 

It sure is a demand 

Upon faith to start

Oh Allah Grant me serenity

Holds me tight 

Bring me hope 

Away from the darkness 

Holding air tight 

Suffocating to the max 

Unable to cope 

Hoping for something more 

Upon a time to tell 

Destined to be 

Let me plea with my Lord indeed 

I fall to my knees and plea and plea 

To conquer the darkness 

To allow hope to consume 

To bring happiness 

That is what is sought 

A smile here. A smile there. A smile everywhere 

Where to go from here? 

Wanting something more 

Follow the light into the hole 

Where the rabbit follows you so 

Or are you following the rabbit instead? 

Crazy Beyond sanity 

Darkness here and light over there 

Where to go from here? 

On and on again 

Will that depend? 

Have some hope 

Gather the strength 

Bring the peace 

Oh Allah 

Where to go from here? 

Where to want to be? 

Allah said be be 

So here I am full of insanity 

Running on the treadmill to Hope 

Holding on to something 

To the light that resides in my heart 

To conquer the darkness 

To conquer something more 

Where to go from here?

Let it be let it be fully full of insanity 

I guess that is me 

Destined to be

Walking into the Abyss

Walking on sunshine 

Open your eyes

The patterns appear 

Causes nothing but anxiety 

One have another gave more

They stare so insanely 

Will this nightmare end

Happening from nothingness 

Pattern here 

The illusion of the delusion 

Wanting peace near 

Finding nothing but darkness 

Wanting nothing but hope 

Illusions why are they here? 

Will the cure come with hope? 

To plead with the Lord Allah 

Wanting nothing but it to end 

Up down all around 

Nothing but the delusion of the illusion 

Hoping for something more 

Reaping with the soul desires 

Nothing but an end 

To the insanity that bends 

The mind that sees 

Nothing but the illusion that he's

Jump! Hooray! Yippee! 

Lost within the insanity 

Is this truly what Allah wants me to be? 

Up down all around 

Pitter pattern. Let's get at it

Glimmering hope 

Carnage on it's way

Hoping for an ending

Let it be let it be

Even within this insanity 

Will I be free? 

Ever here ever more

Pleading with fate

Lightly here

Ponder until the chaos breaks

That cool and calm

Serenity gone

Nothing but disaster ahead

Falling to knees

Pleading for insanity to start at Bay

Lord oh help me

Conquer the illusion 

Please

I know I am not right

And fall for the najs

Tears reap my soul

As the patterns 

Are breaking my heart

Here to stay 

Will this end soon

I plead with you Lord 

Allah the only one for me

I plead

Insanity breaks me

What to do from here? 

Tears well up

Patterns stricken the sight

Unable to cope

Wanting the flame

The blade

Is this fate?

So here I am being

For Allah says be

Even within the illusions

That be

Serenity give me the strength

To conquer the nags

Patterns go from me

Let me be free

Please oh Lord Allah

Save me from myself

Me my oh my

What to do

But plea 

To conquer the najs

Will it free me

Let it be

Full of insanity 

Just be

Just Stay

Starting again 

Ready Set go go 

Bending to the desire

No more shall I feed the insanity 

The monster is waiting

For me to fall

I hear it roar

It wants more carnage 

Am I ready to be? 

Clean and sober

Facing my emotions

To not suffocate on the smoke

To put away the blades

For the flame calls me

To break my will 

I am strong

Not broken

But rebuilding 

What to do? 

But steps

They are the medicine of the heart 

To make me great again

To free me from the najs 

Help self without smoke

For the insanity is at the brim

Bubbling over, wanting carnage 

I will not Bend

Nor break

For I'm on the mend

So grant me sobriety 

Oh Lord of eternal wisdom 

God save me

Before I reap the deeds of the devil

Only you can save me

Oh Allah Almighty 

Help me stay

Just stay

Rolling Glimpse

A glimpse of something

The rolls are here

Ripples within my density 

Shall it set me free

Defining what the patterns are

Be and see

Will I be free, of this disaster ahead 

Saving my breath, deep breathes 

Pattern stare so plainly 

Does this define what this time

Help me, save me

My lord who knows my heart

Will I be saved from disaster 

They stare every so plainly 

For despair is here

The mind Bending to the bliss

Shall I dismiss what is right

One two three four how about some more

Glimmering tarnished vision

All I see is the patterns 

Command me

To be calculated chaos 

Just a disaster 

Beautiful person

Free to be

Mind bent to the Insanity

Let me plea 

To free me from the insanity that is deemed

Jigsaw of the Mind

Breaking apart 

Pulling self in 

Having hope 

Wanting something 

To overcome the doubts 

To conquer the nafs

Bring me close

Do not dismiss my spirit

I want Noor 

To conquer my heart from the dank darkness

That suffocation bliss

Can I breathe? 

I want nothing but happiness

Having hope, holding on to sanity

Love self, but fated to hate self

60 percent of love for me

40 percent of hate the rage that consumes the light

Breaking with me

Slightly more understanding

Of the situation that be's 

Destined for the good 

Hoping for the rest to fill with love 

Here I am broken, but rebuilding 

Taking the jigsaw of my mind 

Pull me close, follow the light

To bring in Peace 

Having something more

That is right

Will he accept me 

Broken but rebuilding 

Remodeling the spirit

To bring me close to Allah

That is Hope

Something that is more

So much more

Allah save me from this disassociation 

Of the mind that is destined to fail

Only with you Allah can I truly hope

You conquer the darkness 

Keeping my Eman to my heart

Actions beyond me 

Boost me up, bring in hope 

Embrace love

100% of bliss

Worshipping the Lord

Following the Deen

Upon the days to come 

Having truth is far better than hate

The jigsaw pieces are finally fit 

Having true hope 

Truly this will save me 

So break free

Tear-shaped emotions 

Tripping down the cheeks 

Up up to Cloud 9 

Does this define 

What serenity is? 

The falsehood of the solitude 

The monster beyond the bend

Comprehending hope 

Beating the chest 

Holding the fear 

Having something more 

Here we go, upon this time

Suffocation to the max 

The good old H2O 

COPD the best of me 

Can I finally breathe? 

Ever so softly, will there be peace 

Within my soul 

Conquering happiness 

To allow the flood lights to consume 

The gates be open 

Where to go from here? 

This time will tell 

What will happen? 

What will come? 

Here there everywhere 

Screaming for sanity 

Basking in the light of insanity 

I am finally free, to breathe those lightly breaths 

Holding on to something 

That is Hope