saving self

Screaming to save my life

What to do? 

Where to go?

Hurt here and there

Slice the blades go

What to bring? But devastation 

Should I let the monster go

As it seems my soul

You rip and tear 

Bringing durastrous deeds 

Can someone save me

Only I can save myself

Following the dragon no more

Suffocation to the climax 

Falling into the abyss

Sure let's go, chaos of the soul

The snickering voices 

Pitter pattern 

Come and go

Let's go

Bringing hope to all

Not just me

Saving my life

Save myself

In this devastation of a world 

Trying to break free

Failing always

Fighting always

Reserve my rights 

To decide what is needed 

To not let the darkness reside 

To let the noor in

Saving self

Ok let's go

helping saving

Help me and save me

Oh Allah the most beloved

Love the Lord, with all your might

Bring in the fight 

For your never alone

Even when your soul drops

Down to the darkness

When the hope weithers

Worry not for the light is not diminished 

For the noor never does

Not since love came into my heart

I yern for the most beloved and Almighty 

La illah il allah

Save me from the darkness within my soul

What should I do

My hope is with the Lord 

Worship one and only

To breathe deep breaths 

To center my soul

Beimg perhaps seeking something 

Will I hone to what I know

The Peace and Noor

Conquering my nafs

That divert me from it

Oh Allah guide me always

Even if one is tarnished 

Hope for today for tomorrow never comes

Old habits

Tap tap tap goes to start 

Trapped in the jukebox 

With a million songs around 

Unable to cope 

Going back to old habits 

Cutting up the world 

Chaos of the heart 

Wondering what to do 

If this is meant to be 

Stuck in the insanity 

Of the mind and the Sea 

The illusion of the heart 

The ocean of abyss 

The emptiness that consumes 

The loneliness that reaps 

Conquering this 

Wondering what to do 

Coping. Hoping loving needing 

Everything being 

A slip to the heart 

The pain that is 

Eternal in the heart 

A thousand needles 

Stuck into me

Labels that be 

Only time will tell 

To start again 

One more time 

In this abyss 

But I shall dismiss 

For the light is near 

Hoping so anyways

Sorrows come and go

Down streaming, the cloud's coming

Bringing the sorrow, upon the tears that drop

Burning so slightly, shall I do the deadly deed? 

The night is near but never great l fear 

The great power is near 

He hears all, knows all

The merciful the Lord

He calls me

The night coming to an end

Will this be possible 

To bend and not break

Losing my mind to the confusion 

Now break up, leave the bad deeds 

Finally I breathe those deep breaths 

My slumber comes to an end

For the call comes 

With dawn to start 

Have I been good

I wonder....

I offer my Salah to the Almighty

The Lord calls me

Stuck in the chaos of the mind

Will the reciting save me

I shall bend not breaking

Offer my my self

To you Lord of lords 

Help me break free

Shahadah 

There is no God but Allah and his messenger is Muhammed

Breaking free from najs

The days come and go

Running out of time

Will this end, bring peace

To overcome the nafs

Come and go

Bringing peace of mind

Allah always will guide me

Echo's

Lift my emotions up

Seeking cloud 9

Isn't it Divine to be in this time

Feeling the Echo's of anxiety 

Hold me close

Oh Allah the Almighty, the most Forgiving 

Feeding me to the wolves of the soul 

Ravished am I 

Hoping for something more

Surely spectacular 

Pitter pattern 

Chaos of the heart 

The beast breaking free

To rawr as emotions flood my every being 

Turning to the Lord

To wash away the sins

My mind can't expand more

I'm drowning in my nafs

Working hard for hell 

Seeking the light

Will I break free, is this destined for me

To truly be full of insanity 

Holding my breath

Hoping for life to consume

To seek the Almighty Allah 

In the times of need

But not only that

Alhamdulillah  for everything

Even the patterns 

Locking on

Let me breathe those breathes 

To save me from the chaos 

Seeking love, finding hate 

The never ending insanity vibes

It seeks me but I will break free I'm from the najs

Pleading with Allah

To save me from myself

Break free from the shackles that be

Just breathe, let's get ready

For a new day, bringing hope

For now anyways 

Seeking the Noor, consuming me

Hey let it be

Just be free

Seeking the good

Falling from time to time

Not broken but rebuilding 

Smile always

Alhamdulillah  

Letting me be

Broken stars in the nights sky

Shining once to blighty 

To fade into the abyss 

Does this dismiss 

What's to come, break

Unable to cope, pen to paper

Breaking insanity 

Can I breath

Suffocating on Bliss 

Days go by

Smile it's ok

Even when hate resides on my side

Breaking in this bend surely will this be on the mend

Smile softly 

Always watching the patterns glow

Will I ever be free

From this insanity 

Fighting kicking and streaming 

The tears roll 

Am I on the mend

Trying always to be here

Breaking stars across the vision 

What is real 

Pitter patterns let me bare 

Slightly better

As the words release me

Let me be

hello you

Hello illusion, I do not dare 

To decide what to do 

Pitter patter let's get at er

Rocking nothing but destruction 

Time will tell where to go 

Hello delusion, what shall you bring today 

Hey insane membrane 

Don't you tempt me to do 

The darkness that resides in my heart 

To do the deadly deed 

To rupture one's mind 

Leaving nothing but bruises by 

Breaking rebuilding breaking down 

Hitting the ground 

Hello illusion are you here been my will 

Currently wanting to live 

Is it worthwhile 

For the insane world at is

Why is it one? Medication is so much money 

That the medical will not even cover it 

So I'm here staring so blankly 

So bravely upon time to tell 

Hello delusion, what is it but happiness is the illusion of the delusion 

Artificial Bliss shall I dismiss 

To seek refuge in the Lord 

Granting me serenity 

Giving me the courage 

And the wisdom to know the difference 

But I'm here. Pondering 

What will come of this 

To seek your faith with the Lord 

To keep The whispers at Bay 

But those patterns here and there 

Is that what sanity is 

Unable to hold on tight 

Losing my grasp 

To break free upon this insanity 

Nothing stops the patterns from coming 

Only one thing that one cannot acquire 

So seeking the Lord upon this insane membrane 

Look here 

Pattern that surely is near 

Tempted by the blade 

Called by the flame 

To rip and tear 

The devourer is here 

Holding tight 

To not lose my grasp to the light 

Follow me upon this insane membrane 

Pattern here pattern there. Hello here! Hello there 

Does it make sense this confusion of the mind 

Breaking point now 

Do I dare to do a deadly deed or do I power on and seek serenity 

Am I ready to bleed 

Shall I be on the mend 

Slipping away from sanity 

Twisting and turning my heart 

Where will I go from here 

Tomorrow never comes 

For tomorrow will be today 

So hope for another day 

So one does not fade away