yin and yang

Crystal clear vision 

Upon this division 

Of the heart that you see 

That I wear on my sleeve 

Torn between two worlds 

Following cloud 9 

Not knowing if this is right 

Hoping that this is the right path 

Hoping that it doesn't turn into a disaster 

Kaleidoscope vision 

Pitter pattern here and there 

Unable to tell what is right 

Will I know this fight 

Upon a time to tell 

Once upon there was a soul who was free of this 

But July comes once again 

The end of the ends 

The never-ending depression 

I'm not as bad as what I was 

For the blade has not touched my skin for some time 

The flame is now just for The Herb 

Not the flesh 

The real challenge will be to stop completely 

19 months of bliss 

Only for it to be dismissed 

8 months of serene serenity 

Calling in for the chaos to come 

Something familiar 

Insanity at the max 

I hope I am doing the right thing 

Only time will tell 

Tick tock on the clock 

What will come next 

Suffocation to the max 

Or Bliss to serenity 

What will be what will be 

Even if it's full of insanity 

But is that not the norm 

Of this crazy world we live in 

You tell me

all over the place

Define as it seems 

This illusion is surely a delusional thing 

Up we go 

Not knowing what to do 

Lost to the patterns in the vision

Does it define what sanity is

Is such at a loss

Glittering disaster 

What to do

Upon this time to tell

Shall I reap my soul

To the almighty Allah

Bring me to peace 

Content with the chaos

These chains hold my heart

Hoping for serenity 

Let this be inshallah 

Unable to cope 

Will I loose hope 

But what it is be truly

Calculated chaos 

Everything comes to one

Seems I cannot bear

Insanity is here. Near and dear

Having somewhat this hope

Hoping for something more

Holding onto the chains that bare my soul

As I think of I was cured would I truly be me

As flaw do you see, so plainly

Bring solitude for the heart

The to hope of loneliness 

Seek the truth always 

Even when you can't grasp reality

dreaming of you

You message

I miss

I send text or two

You ignoring my heart and soul 

I want you to

Acknowledge me

Bringing hope to me

I think I love you

For this is a lifetime to come

Will you love me back 

I hope so

To take me from the darkness 

I want to serve you

To hope for you

Will you

Listen to me

I just want to be in your arms

I think I need you

Am I fool 

To believe this

Am I delusional 

Is this a hallucination 

To this nation

Is this attainable

I hope so

One can dream on

wandering darkness

Take me darkness 

Hold me tight 

Twist and turn 

Upon a Time 

Wondering what it's meant to be 

Having something that you need 

Bringing hope near and dear 

Having happiness 

Is it acquired? 

Does it need? 

Am I free? 

Shall it be reaped? 

The deadly deed 

Darkness here. Darkness there 

Bringing up peace 

Carnage of the heart 

Wanting more 

To end it all 

To start again 

A New beginning 

Will it ever end? 

Darkness here 

Light is near 

Having hope 

So disaster is done 

Carnage there

Bringing me peace 

Shall I have? 

What will come? 

On this time to tell 

Darkness here. Darkness there 

Light near ever dear 

Dear sanity 

Will you be with me? 

Conquering the darkness 

Keeping the insanity at bay

Bring me hope 

Upon this time to tell 

Wanting something more 

Hoping for tomorrow 

That is what is needed

having peace

Ready start 

Fight the night 

Bring the peace 

Fight the night 

Embrace the flame 

Need the pain 

Target the heart 

Take the blade 

Upon a time to tell 

Long ago upon the bend 

Shall I be on the mend? 

Falling to the ground 

Pleading with the Lord 

Ready the sight 

Having hope today 

Lucid for the time 

What will come of this 

Let me pray 

To take away the disaster 

Of the mind that seeks 

Destined am I? 

To bleed a deadly deed 

To be tarnished ever so 

But what will come if hope is acquired? 

Will there be peace? 

Will it be serenity? 

What will come indeed? 

Peace within the heart 

For Allah is needed 

In times of disaster 

Of the mind do you see? 

Upon insanity 

Let me plead 

Oh Lord, save me from the insanity 

Bring me hope 

Serenity 

Helping save 

Myself from myself 

For I am my worst enemy 

Beloved Lord 

I call upon thee 

Save me from myself 

Bring me hope 

Allow me to seek reward 

Do not burden me so 

With the insanity that is at the brim 

The confusion of the heart 

Let me pray 

To have serenity 

To finally be at peace 

To have a mind full of Hope 

Let me breathe 

Those deep deep breaths 

That are needed to see 

What's beyond the bend

Seek hope 

Leave disaster at the door 

Bring serenity 

Hope today so tomorrow doesn't fade 

Seek reward 

So you can have peace...

chaos created

Create chaos 

Beast within 

Rapping at the door 

Unable to comprehend 

What will come from this? 

But carnage of the heart 

Let us fall to our knees 

And pray away the deeds 

The deadly deeds that reside in the heart 

What will come from this? 

Dua of the heart 

Will you hear me so Allah Almighty? 

Will you reap my heart? 

Upon a time to tell 

What is needed? 

What is found? 

Carnage of the heart 

Serenity of the mind 

Wanting this? 

And let us pray 

To bring us hope 

To bring us peace 

To have some heart 

That is what's needed

refresh. hope

Refresh to start again 

Falling to the ground 

To pray the heart out 

Now hope is found 

Upon the darkness that resides 

Will it let the Noor in? 

Conquering the nafs

Hoping to be free of the najs

Pleading with the Lord to save you from Insanity 

Let us pray 

To Allah Almighty 

That is needed for the heart 

To lighten your soul 

To breathe in hope 

To have deep breaths 

In one two three out 345 

Upon this time to tell 

What do we need? 

That is Allah 

With what? 

Islam that's what's right 

Upon this night 

A time to tell 

A story to start 

To turn the disaster into Beauty 

To not be weak 

To gather strength 

And without Allah 

One is truly lost 

Lost to darkness 

But we find the light 

That resides in the hearts 

Of those who worship 

Allah hear me so 

Save me from the insanity 

Allow this this disaster to heal 

Give me shifa 

Allow me to be saved

Bring in peace 

Breathe in hope 

That is what's needed 

For tomorrow and evermore

wanting to....

Breaking 

Wanting 

Bringing 

Hoping 

Having 

Taking 

Shall this be the deeds? 

Deadly as it seems 

Upon a time to tell 

Seek the Lord indeed 

As the devil dances 

On your heart, that's everlasting 

Pouring hate into this 

Wanting this to end 

Bringing hope near and dear 

Seeking God with all the heart 

Bringing light to the heart 

Upon a time to tell 

Shall this be the way? 

To hope for today so tomorrow doesn't fade away 

breaking

Tears of frustration 

Breaking point of Destiny 

Unable to cope 

Wanting something more 

Seeking something more 

Wanting to end 

The torment in the heart 

The mind of uncertainty 

Let me breathe 

Slowly and deeply 

Center self 

Breathe. Just breathe 

Do I seek the Lord? 

Upon this time of insanity 

I feel myself distant from there

Let me plead 

With the Lord Almighty 

Let me breathe those deep breaths 

Allow me to conquer the darkness 

That resides in my heart 

My mind is frustrated 

I will not break 

For I'm already broken 

Am I rebuilding? 

Uncertain am I 

Falling into the insanity of frustration 

The skin is hot with the tears flowing 

The rage conquers my soul 

I want nothing but to be free 

From the solitude of the insanity 

Let me breathe 

To seek the Lord Almighty 

But times I'm afraid or lost 

The whispers come and go 

What shall come of me?

Will the deadly deeds come? 

Breaking to the point 

Let me breathe slowly but deeply 

To conquer the frustration 

To hold back the tears 

Let me just be full of insanity but away from the frustration of the heart and mind 

For the rage kills all...

what hope is

Stop 

Moments

Go

Plead for serenity 

Will this be 

An end to the insanity

Ready

Set go

Upon a time to tell

Weak inside the heart

Mind in the most

Shall I dismiss?

Am I ready to need 

To be

Full of this serenity 

What I need is light

Shall that be tonight 

Upon this time

Shall I seek?

The Lord of worlds

The one and only truth

That is one

One God 

1 hope 

Pleading for sanity

Am I ready to be? 

Lord save me 

Keep me in the Noor

Bring hope to me

Hope for today

So tomorrow doesn't fade

Have life

Breathe surely 

Those deep breathes 

Have some time to self

To reflect what's needed

That is Allah 

For that is what hope is

what binds

Darkness that harness my soul

The Noor that binds my heart

Conflict from the najs

Something binds me

Unable to breath

What is keeping me

I hear the call

The light inside

That conquers all

Allah Allah help me so 

Bring in the light

To keep it tight

Conquer the najs

Allah the most beloved

Allah the Almighty 

Let me breath

Lightly it seems

Heavenly breaths

Deep breathing 

Bring hope inside

The heart that resides

To fight the darkness 

To bring in the light

To breathe easy

Call upon my heart

Allah I need

Allah the most forgiving

Forgive me

deemed smoke

I am a smoke screen 

Looking at me

You see the illusion

That's deemed for me

Upon a time to tell

I am powerful

I am strong 

Needing to be free if insanity 

I am a beautiful disaster 

Wanting something more

Something that life needs

Smile here

Nervous to be fully self

I am free

But smoke screen 

Fully dreaming

Illusion deemed 

Break free

Of the solitude 

What am I?

Naming what needs

To be me

Fully defeated 

Victor of the night

Breathing easy

Finally free

Just to be me

Smoke free

Destination deemed 

Finally here there everywhere

I am me

Steadfast

Allah you are my light

Without you I'm truly lost

Guide me through the darkness 

Hold my soul tight 

You are my Noor

Bring me hope for tomorrow

For you are the greatest

Oh Allah, I love you

The almighty 

Allah

I fall to my knees and beg you to save me

From the traps, of this world

Bringing peace to my heart

Guide my soul

I shall not break

My Eman is here

Steadfast 

Strong willed 

I'm lost without you

Allah give me shifa

Guide me through the Dunya 

Hold my heart tight 

Embrace my solitude 

I love you Allah 

Allahu Akbar

Help me conquer my nafs

I stand tall

Not breaking

Make me steadfast 

With my will 

Oh Allah Almighty

Bring me peace of mind

Allah the most beloved 

You are the best of the best

Guiding me so

That is peace

Islam is best for me

breaking sight

Twinkle twinkle on the time

Flicker here flicker there 

Every reflection 

Every time they come

Breaking my mind

My sanity fades 

Will this be the time

A rip my eyes out

Time fades 

Patterns here

Banging on my heart 

I begin to fade 

My heart thumps

Every so fast 

Will I just fade into the wall

Drifting every direction

Breaking my sanity

Shall I end this way 

Patterns coming 

Breaking my heart

Pleaing with my Lord

To save me from myself

Why oh why shall this be

Reaping the deadly deeds

Twinkle comes

Patterns here

What will be will be

Insanity at the brim

Self fades into stone

Falling from grace

What will be will be 

Insanity destined

Heavenly saved for another time

holding on to being

Waking up, holding tight the air from within

Breaking my hand 

It sure is a demand 

Upon faith to start

Oh Allah Grant me serenity

Holds me tight 

Bring me hope 

Away from the darkness 

Holding air tight 

Suffocating to the max 

Unable to cope 

Hoping for something more 

Upon a time to tell 

Destined to be 

Let me plea with my Lord indeed 

I fall to my knees and plea and plea 

To conquer the darkness 

To allow hope to consume 

To bring happiness 

That is what is sought 

A smile here. A smile there. A smile everywhere 

Where to go from here? 

Wanting something more 

Follow the light into the hole 

Where the rabbit follows you so 

Or are you following the rabbit instead? 

Crazy Beyond sanity 

Darkness here and light over there 

Where to go from here? 

On and on again 

Will that depend? 

Have some hope 

Gather the strength 

Bring the peace 

Oh Allah 

Where to go from here? 

Where to want to be? 

Allah said be be 

So here I am full of insanity 

Running on the treadmill to Hope 

Holding on to something 

To the light that resides in my heart 

To conquer the darkness 

To conquer something more 

Where to go from here?

Let it be let it be fully full of insanity 

I guess that is me 

Destined to be

Walking into the Abyss

Walking on sunshine 

Open your eyes

The patterns appear 

Causes nothing but anxiety 

One have another gave more

They stare so insanely 

Will this nightmare end

Happening from nothingness 

Pattern here 

The illusion of the delusion 

Wanting peace near 

Finding nothing but darkness 

Wanting nothing but hope 

Illusions why are they here? 

Will the cure come with hope? 

To plead with the Lord Allah 

Wanting nothing but it to end 

Up down all around 

Nothing but the delusion of the illusion 

Hoping for something more 

Reaping with the soul desires 

Nothing but an end 

To the insanity that bends 

The mind that sees 

Nothing but the illusion that he's

Jump! Hooray! Yippee! 

Lost within the insanity 

Is this truly what Allah wants me to be? 

Up down all around 

Pitter pattern. Let's get at it

Glimmering hope 

Carnage on it's way

Hoping for an ending

Let it be let it be

Even within this insanity 

Will I be free? 

Ever here ever more

Pleading with fate

Lightly here

Ponder until the chaos breaks

That cool and calm

Serenity gone

Nothing but disaster ahead

Falling to knees

Pleading for insanity to start at Bay

Lord oh help me

Conquer the illusion 

Please

I know I am not right

And fall for the najs

Tears reap my soul

As the patterns 

Are breaking my heart

Here to stay 

Will this end soon

I plead with you Lord 

Allah the only one for me

I plead

Insanity breaks me

What to do from here? 

Tears well up

Patterns stricken the sight

Unable to cope

Wanting the flame

The blade

Is this fate?

So here I am being

For Allah says be

Even within the illusions

That be

Serenity give me the strength

To conquer the nags

Patterns go from me

Let me be free

Please oh Lord Allah

Save me from myself

Me my oh my

What to do

But plea 

To conquer the najs

Will it free me

Let it be

Full of insanity 

Just be