Summer 2014

I decided to be me
ME alone
Yea im a christian and i love Jesus as my Lord and savior!
I rarely judge people so i expect the same in return
its all about me
you know i have a doctor say that to me in a mental hostipal that you out in life for self

Self until you produce an offspring or now adays a debt to society
I am a christian but i dont go around doing Abba the fathers job about judgeing people
that is for God alone
and if that statement makes you all huffy then sorry for being me again
im happy the way i am
i may be low educated but at least i got the ilm
and shame on you for saying your a knowledge seeker and you dont know ilm
Brothers Sisters Humans Heathens i adress you to this
you maybe truth seekers and well there is truth dont give up
and dont lose Hope
I hope im right God only knows

Being me again
I go to church sometimes more than one i like to refresh my deen gain a diffirent ilm of the day month or second,
I had a time of mania for the first time with a label for it
it caught my attention from so called lack of attention the ADD the stupid one the distruptive one
I tried in school but i was going through my shit dealing with family and me
disorder molding bubbleing in action ready to burst
they didnt know about that then
but i know now finally i understand thank oh Marion
what a help she was to me

I am not of the elected
 never have i claimed so
but i truly believe that i am saved because i accept Christ into my heart and spirit
So the holy spirit shall birth its fruits of devine light to a true follow of Lord almighty
Heavenly Father, Jesus son of Abba King of Kings

If that makes kaffir then so what i dont need you
because im doing it for me alone
i strive to be good pious person
A women of God
but i have my deviant side my flaws
but ill never denounce it
never ever because its not a choice for me
But im not going to give in to all my nafs
because i have to balanace things out
im a good person im nice to people
but everyone has their limit

and its no secret that i got that ginger rage
Smash
anyways
back to me
I dont like all these labels but if you must here i go
NO
dont give it to that bullshit
sorry for my fowl mouth but i wont sit and converse with myself argueing nit picking back and forth
so who really is the sane one you my friends or me instead
Im not sane, im perfectly happy being insane special Lindsey

that me
im out for me
But with me is God and without him ill truly be lost
but happiness is but illusion for people like me
when you need the medication to survive
what a cruel world we live in might as well die now
not my time
even though not to long ago i stood in my kitchen with dull knive to my throat
it did nothing Thank God as cry myself to sleep so where i am not as fall creeps and yet another death arrises
mourning here for now and mourning for then the past its going be rough
but got remeber im not alone to reaht out not be hermit read fool read
seek that iilm and be close to God

But i openly admit that i am a sexual deviant in torah bible and quran so i guess im fucked there therefore i am not elected as i said before

I said enough finially
Do you for you, the me in all of us but keep faith in your path be that Godly or threw humanity
Keep the peace

Wanting

I tired
tired of this
i truly know what to do now
some may call me a heathen
where others love me for me

I think im going to leave my church
well im going tell my church who i truly am
and if they label me a monster than so be it
im trying  to control my nafs
but not all nafs are bad

so sometimes the bible says if you lay with another man you go to hell
well i disagree
Didnt Jesus die for us
for our sins
why is it that people go around pointing fingers
saying who is deviant and who is not

id say look in the mirror
are you doing wrong
i like to thing im a good person
im nice to people
i have a kind heart
and kindered soul

i admit im irrational deviant being
so you may disagree with me
a friend did say to me
why is it you choose faiths that attack your very being
he proved to me that impunishimg myself but truly im done with that

im tired of hiding who i am
those who follow my poetry and have read all it
know i have refered to being a monster
well monster i am no longer
im free to be me
God said be so here i am

so my friends will you shun me
like the muslims did
it was hard being gay and muslim
can i be gay and christian
i think it possible
God is just
God is good


he knows whats in the hearts of everyone
so why i say
does everyone point there fingers and say what deviant heathen i am
I went topride event last night
and met up with a minister
who was out
who was gay and who was kind
perhaps ill talk to him again
and truly perhaps i will see another side of christianty

because what my church preaches is to condum me
why
what have i done other than be who i am
i havent killed anyone
i havent done wrong in a long time
and i have repented

but dont get me wrong
im still christian
im just trying to find my path
so please my friends set me free
let be me
the kindered soul that i am
so we shall meet now in this reality
and hopefully the hereafter