Wanting

I tired
tired of this
i truly know what to do now
some may call me a heathen
where others love me for me

I think im going to leave my church
well im going tell my church who i truly am
and if they label me a monster than so be it
im trying  to control my nafs
but not all nafs are bad

so sometimes the bible says if you lay with another man you go to hell
well i disagree
Didnt Jesus die for us
for our sins
why is it that people go around pointing fingers
saying who is deviant and who is not

id say look in the mirror
are you doing wrong
i like to thing im a good person
im nice to people
i have a kind heart
and kindered soul

i admit im irrational deviant being
so you may disagree with me
a friend did say to me
why is it you choose faiths that attack your very being
he proved to me that impunishimg myself but truly im done with that

im tired of hiding who i am
those who follow my poetry and have read all it
know i have refered to being a monster
well monster i am no longer
im free to be me
God said be so here i am

so my friends will you shun me
like the muslims did
it was hard being gay and muslim
can i be gay and christian
i think it possible
God is just
God is good


he knows whats in the hearts of everyone
so why i say
does everyone point there fingers and say what deviant heathen i am
I went topride event last night
and met up with a minister
who was out
who was gay and who was kind
perhaps ill talk to him again
and truly perhaps i will see another side of christianty

because what my church preaches is to condum me
why
what have i done other than be who i am
i havent killed anyone
i havent done wrong in a long time
and i have repented

but dont get me wrong
im still christian
im just trying to find my path
so please my friends set me free
let be me
the kindered soul that i am
so we shall meet now in this reality
and hopefully the hereafter