lucid hope

A drop upon time

But a moment so lucid

Feeling content, feeling lost

Hoping for hopefulness

Losing self

Comprehending what is happiness

Is it but an illusion

Happiness leads to mania

A drop of time

Demanding what is mine

Upon this Day, insanity as it may

Maniac upon the bend

Truly I cannot be on the mend 

Up down all around

The glimmers that be

The patterns that stare

On the mend?

Shall I depend

1 2 3

One pill two pill three pill more

Holding on

Wanting more

Seeking something

Unable to comprehend

Shall I leap, upon the deeds that be

In this wake of insanity

I truly shall be

A shine through this world

Hoping for better days

Before disaster ends

Holding on to anger

Where to go from here

The rage burns on

Wanting something more

Shall I ever find?

I wonder upon these days of insanity

Only to fall down to breathe final breath to hold them in to let them go upon this mend

Truly I shall depend

Lovely as I can be

Finally shall I be free

Is this what is destiny

Fuming

Hitting the match on the mark

Pulling in the deep breath

Fuming to the box

Bursting at the brim

It calls me, the rage within

Unable to comprehend

Fall into my knees

Devastate my soul

Unable to believe

Wanting nothing but the flame to desire more

Ready myself

Taking thy right, striking is insanity

Freaking out, wanting the mania to consume

The rage goes on

This is not me

I am conquered by my nafs

Jihad against the mental illness

Where to go from here?

Broken beyond the mend

What will I recommend?

To have skills to acquire

Are worthless unless you inquire

For it be skills before pills

But can these skills overcome the rage

As it goes on within my heart

I want nothing but to die

But here I am with my jihad

Fighting against my every being

Darkness is here and near

A light may come knocking

Open that door

Bring in the Noor

Serenity is what is needed

For God to grant me serenity

So I can have the courage to change

Knowing that the wisdom will bring me far

To conquer the Nafs

To bring in light

To fight the rage

To sip on serenity

For I am free

To choose my destiny