Chaos and Serenity

My life is is chaos
in the cycle as it round and round
unknown is the outcome is this circle
I wake as though nothing but unsettle of emotions are in my mind
my bones ache
something is missing
is it serenity?
Peace?
unbalanced I feel
unsettling this is
breath
close your eyes breath
I sleep my mind is chronic trembles even my dreams shake from the unbalanced of emotions
I dont know what to know what to do
I scream silently i cant breath
Take the medications they say
Go to treatment
Talk in therapy
be honest
Fuck
I've done all this
still nothing
im nothing
im not worth it
what will turn this around

Jump up and spin round n round
Time for change
But we need something to cling onto too
Be it your higher power
A structure of some sorts
Some sort of hope
Grab hold of something that means something to you be peace, hope, God, or humanity.
Something other than self because you cannot i know this find balance without some sort of balance from outside sources
Do you not read to seek knowledge to gain sources to build to add to your structure
To bring me kingdom come
My structure is what brings me to balance

So where are we now in the journey
we somewhat at balance
as we have the tools to weild the skills to our blue prints
for our structures for our kingdoms
in our hearts
to gain balance
Balance from the emotions
Because in the end
deep down its you and only you
me fucking me
so here i am feeling me and my emotions grabbing to my structures tog uide me to kingdom inside my heart
to gain passage to serenity
Without this peace we will surely be lost

Ripples...

Take me away from this reality now
I dont want to feel this way anymore
unable to control my emotions
letting the tears drip down

am i dreaming
im waiting as im tripping over these waves of emotions
over and over again
can i comprehend what i am facing
screaming inside myhead and outside in this reality

I want to shout and let it all out
but as i open my mouth nothing comes out
so here i am wirting out my deed
im in a safe place i made my home that way
but i cannot help but wannting cut my feelings out
i dont want this pain i dont face my rage
i want run run run away from my reality

there is no need to run
you are strong
rock be a rock causing ripples
helping others but you need help yourself first
maybe you should look to the tools like the pen to paper now
this only does so much
triggers be everywhere

Go ahead
Run
far away
Run
from reality
be lost....

Dont let these words affect you
infect you causeing infections in the blood
dont feel like you need to let the river run the course down the skin
thats not the right way
LIVE
please
live on
so others can aquire deeds from your deeds
for you are that rock causing ripples
Ripples...

Dare to conquer

off to galaxy of stars
i am limitless
my mind can expand
I spent my time pondering
for my time was tiresome for some time
on ponders of doom

no more
for i am free
the old patterns are gone from me
there is only good times ahead
limitless in the galaxy
the ocean of emotions is finally at balance
I wont lie
I still enternally feel the darkness
but my light is ever lasting
its not a flicker but shines brightly
AS my words bring others to dare to inspire

I am strong
I am worthwhile
I am free
I am am a light
aslways have been
even though darkness tried to consume my path
and emptiness consumed me
i tried to end it all
but
i did the right light steps
I made the path to enlightenment my path to serentity
so my friend
do not think light of the path ahead
the sea of tears
is over flowing but
do not fear
of drowning
you can be afloat of a boat
and have a paddle
you have the blueprints and your crew
craft your ark
Finally
I am free
from my fear of emotions and be at peace

So
Dare to inspire