Chaos and Serenity

My life is is chaos
in the cycle as it round and round
unknown is the outcome is this circle
I wake as though nothing but unsettle of emotions are in my mind
my bones ache
something is missing
is it serenity?
Peace?
unbalanced I feel
unsettling this is
breath
close your eyes breath
I sleep my mind is chronic trembles even my dreams shake from the unbalanced of emotions
I dont know what to know what to do
I scream silently i cant breath
Take the medications they say
Go to treatment
Talk in therapy
be honest
Fuck
I've done all this
still nothing
im nothing
im not worth it
what will turn this around

Jump up and spin round n round
Time for change
But we need something to cling onto too
Be it your higher power
A structure of some sorts
Some sort of hope
Grab hold of something that means something to you be peace, hope, God, or humanity.
Something other than self because you cannot i know this find balance without some sort of balance from outside sources
Do you not read to seek knowledge to gain sources to build to add to your structure
To bring me kingdom come
My structure is what brings me to balance

So where are we now in the journey
we somewhat at balance
as we have the tools to weild the skills to our blue prints
for our structures for our kingdoms
in our hearts
to gain balance
Balance from the emotions
Because in the end
deep down its you and only you
me fucking me
so here i am feeling me and my emotions grabbing to my structures tog uide me to kingdom inside my heart
to gain passage to serenity
Without this peace we will surely be lost