Glimmer

I see them
its hard to explain
people look at me
as my eyes are warped beyond repair

Glasses i see them with or without it didn't matter images in my mind
i close my eyes to hide from them
tears roll down my cheeks
i feel so helpless
in every glimmer of light they are seen

creek goes the jester
smile on Cheshire cat
Smile they say
deep breaths
oxygen is needed
Relax
Breath
moisture in cracks of the hands
dry have they become

drip drip drip
glimmers of light drip down
will this light save me from my self
this glimmer of darkness shrouds and haunts me
the faces that they stare down at me
where are they but in glimmer of light

even in the light i am afraid
Glimmering ringing in my ears as though its trumpet of harmony
I don't if the voices are real or not sometimes they come with what i see within the glimmer of lights
sometimes I'm afraid that the shadows will arise within in this light
I thought light was good but perhaps i need a solid brick to hold me
Hold me up
until there is nothing left in my mind
smile on breath deep remember that
without this
how am i suppose overcome this
after all its from me
a part of me
so its me
so i must accept me
Please myself save my from myself before i go insane in the membrane
serenity is needed
so deep breaths in the light
smile on

EverLasting Moonlight

Oh moonlight shine down on me
once upon a time
there was a small star who pondered about you
oh glorious moon will shine down on me

I am who i am
But a speck in this universe
A person whose love is everlasting like a God's
with this love i promise to not shame you
to not hurt you as did before

I believe i was wrong that i wronged you
I changed for the better just as you changed for the better
Will you change with me
Will you moon child shine brightly down on me

As my light withers
for i am everlasting withering star child
with you my moon we shall grow
and become everlasting lights dancing in the sky

I shall sit beside you like a dog does to his master the dog star in the sky
Star child i am
Moon child you are
Let us grow
strive for one another
Love is everlasting
Leave God out of it
because with Love its more powerful
will you learn to love me again
as i learn to love again

So my moon
please shine upon me

Reality

Panic in the mindset
its there
wanting nothing more than to cause doubt it self
does it cause the worrying
after all i am a warrior i am worrier as well

Manic is there over controlling
out of control i feel in my mind and soul
my body can go for days
and i abuse it more and more i become more obsessed with myself and desires
at this moment i would say im steady on the manic phase as im on the meds
they help
but if i was to take them like i suppose to i doubt this would happen
its just
who fuck want to be a zombie anyways
lack of emotion zombie over sensitive fool

Mania is irrational
i can get go and go go go go go..
my mind is swollen
ready to explode
i chew my nails as though its part me i always done it but when im highly medicated im not so much
I'm not so strung up
so maybe that's a sign to stay on them

there that's better
but it doesn't change the fact that i still feel this way
someone mentioned to me
it must be painful
i guess it can
its so frustrating and wanting to destroy my every being
my mind and spirit and soul
i feel my disorder mold and creek within my veins and mold me as though I'm a piece of clay
it scares me allot
what am i to become in this vast reality

New begginings

Today is a day to truly celebrate
A time for new renewals
Revive your time with one another

I do recall we start anew each day as though we were a blank canvas

Another time we swaying in the wind as gold and red leaves pile below us
Waiting for us to jump in that pile
Remembering that child inside

This time around where i am from
individual unique snowflakes land on a child's tongue
as some of where the more adventurous and stuck out tongues to posts in the frozen cold winter
Oh what a sight as a remember both within my mind

Remember to let that child out in your adulthood
explore wonder think outside the box
explode in flavors of the rainbow

Here we are again
back to the canvas
something changed
Splish sploosh splash
vibrant colours
are around us
making it light
Hopefully it will bring wonder to the hearts who see it
I know it did for me

New beginnings my friends
new beginnings
will bring you good fortune
so stock on that lettuce
he he ho ha ha