be free

Where ya m in the milky way

Diea it seem to end?

Not escaping, tarnished

Unable to breath

My voice cannot escape the darkness

Even within daybreak

I do surely bend

Barely holding together

Feeling so jealous

That others get to end

To pass on

Hey here I am

Unable to break the brim

Unable to seam within the wind

Here I reckon

It's it time to stand

High in the sky

Wondering

What's meant for thew

With the insanity

I scream

Cut so harshly

Consume say deadly deeds

Am I ready?

Let's see. Will this happen within me

To be lost within Self

Don't forget to teach for the stars

Ready set go

Another day to flee, fight, or freeze

Plea always

Be free

wrong way

Instantly something triggers it

What is this what has it come to be

From suffering suddenly to frequently to absolutely ballistic

You find yourself crying so much that now it burns your skin as each tear drops

God forbid youself that you cry in front of another person

Because you feel ashamed of the tears

It doesn't matter anymore

Life is about suffering

And suffering more and more

And maybe all those times they said those voices in my head

Maybe they were right

Maybe there is no light

Shrouded in darkness in the loneliness hits

Screaming so loudly at society to help

Not finding any relief within the solidude

Medication doesn't work not for long and not here to there

Do you know so loudly what the mind sees I finally see

I finally know how to say

Going on a merry go round round and round on the fun house now seeing as the shapes move around in the light flashes color and all

Not knowing what to do

It's like being bought a checked into the ground right into the heart

You don't know what it's meant to be

Is this really what reality is?

I rather live in the illusion even though it harms me more so why do I have to live with both

Not finding many things to ponder on just the same things over and over again

Annoying as the mind sees

Trying to escape the box that's been dropped on you

Screaming so silently and nothing hears you but the darkness that be

And you seek solitude with your lord

Bismillah

Does this mean that the schizo has come to be that you have been losing self for so long

You're no longer the person that you were

You've lost self

This is the last try for now

The last hope

Because what's the point after this session 43 times and 13 years that's too many to count on one hand

So many medications and so much therapy I can teach it now I teach it to many so

I'm stuck here out of my mind letting the rage carry on

Burning the bridges as I go as they hold me so

People look at me in my life so lovely

Same but oh you're so happy

Can I not be happy and sad at the same time

Just the sadness is more the majority

We all put up walls to have our fake personality out

It's best to think positive after all

So with this positive thought indeed

May Allah Heal all your ailments Ameen

burning

It burns, cutting through blood flesh skin and bones

To feel the madness

Drift in

Wanting nothing but serenity

Here I am Disneyland at the edge

Leaning as though

I want to fall

Truth is I'm falling already

Running through emotions every moment

Every second

Ever breath

I fall to the ground and do Dua

Not for self, but for others

They need it more

I try to remember

More and more

That I'm needed

But the dreaded deeds

Deem me so

They flesh is comprehended

Ready to be tarnished

Ready to let Go

As the tears burn the skin

Jeopardize my sanity

As the mind sees

The illusions are near and dear

Nothing to help me

No doctors

No family

No friends

Lonliness kills

Am I ready?

For the blade

Swiping across the life line

Ready me on a bloody mess

I'm finally free

Falling is the rest

Ready set Go

Dua

Where do we find ourselves, but lost often far from eman.

Following the darkness of the heart

Far from purification

Didn't you know

Look into your heart do Dua

But of sincerity let it clean the sorrow away

So we always know

Allahu alim

Let it be let it be

Some hardships seem the worse

Remember one who suffers most in this life, has smaller sins forgiven

For Allah is just, and merciful

Dua meant so we can ask the all mighty

To bring ease

To have hope

To help others

To bring truth

To conquer the najs nafs

Dua is but supplication to the pure Almighty

And let it be let it be from the heart to the soul that's deemed by God 

So let's plea from the heart from the sincerity of the soul

For everyone is needed of this and is recommended for us

Some may think as though it's not meant to be

That you are lowly indeed

Do not fret of what they think, they don't know your heart

Only Allahu knows

With this in our intent

You will feel the Noor

Perhaps the sincerity of supplication

It will be accepted and returned

Inshallah God willing

Hope for me, hope for them

 Hope for humanity

Do not forget we are the caretakers of this planet

Our food comes from it

So treated as you would another

To remember to love someone as you would love yourself

Dua

Remember the gratitude

With this please find peace

done

Running scared not knowing where to go

You want to find peace but all you find is destruction

Your longing for peace but all you find is solitude

With the bitterness it takes you away from the light

I want to help myself but sometimes I can't do it alone

No one is on my side I'm all alone

To find peace forever more

Only to have the rage consuming ever so

Finding your way to home again only to bring a horror with you

She said she broke it you broke it you broke it don't you see

Of course I see

Just because I'm blinded by The rage don't hate me

Carnage is here and the desire to hate

I'm hitting self is better than hating most

Has each year drips down burning my skin

I'm falling into the darkness

Not a rope or a latter for me

I guess this is what is willed for me

So I will let this be and be