Guided

Falling into darkness unable to comprehend

The rapid emotions conquer the soul

As a rapture comes to the heartbeat that beats

To feel within the universe this energy

As it moves within you

Do you know what you feel

That it may be one thing

It calls you

It guides you that light that hope

What's meant to be is full of happiness

One just has to obtain it

It's been written in the words

That came before us

That was revealed to the prophets before us

That carried the message to us

To pray, to seek refuge with one Lord

The almighty that is Allah 

Allahu Akbar God is the greatest

Let you fall and seek refuge in the Lord from the accursed Satan

For his whispers will come at you from every direction

And they will rip into your heart and soul

Be not wavered by them

For those whispers will always be with you

Until time stops for you you will always hear them in your heart

But from the time that you breathe air

For when Allah blew breath into Adam

For he began humanity for we are the children of Adam

Let yourself be guided to the truth

If you seek it you shall find

Open your heart to the one and only Allah

And let it be let it be in this world full of insanity

That my heart is guided to Noor

I shall speak truth always

And as my emotion bears my heart on my sleeve

I am destined to believe always and Allah you see

So follow me follow the lord follow the word follow the way

That is Islam

Take My breath away

Stuck here quivering my soul

Complicating if suicide is the way

To finally set me free

From this chaotic Bliss indeed

To dance so fragile ready to break

As every emotion siphons and rips through me

Here I am wandering into Bliss

To allow the crimson desire to burn

And I'm ready to play with my right hand to cut away the darkness

To feel pain instead of rapid emotions

The chaos is here near and dear

Care to stare

Dare you stare and judge me so

You never walked in my shoes so do not despair

I reckon I'm right with the blade

I went a year without so

But here I am holding the blade in my hand ready to let go

What shall I do what will come of this day

Is the chaos destined for me

I want eternal Bliss

To let the insanity take control

Once again in the cycle of chaos that Infinity circle of Doom

Mania on the brink

Rage banking at the desire

Dare to shout out and scream

Instead I went for within the solitude of silence

I cannot break away from these desires

So I write

And write

Wondering this is meant for me

This chaos that I seem to feel constantly

One pill two pill three pill more

The fall came and went and so did 95% of the meds too

Am I betterless medicated

Stress stress here I come

What will come will it ever end 

Will tonight be the night

Perhaps there is no end

Trekking on in the cycle of chaos

So let's not pretend

Mania Bliss

At the start line begging to go

Chaos on the run

Up up to cloud 9

Does this define me what I am in this time

Walking on darkness into the abyss

The emotions roll into the mist

To feel what it means to be insane in the membrane

One pill two pill three pill four don't know what to do mania for this

Medication to the brim

Unable to feel

Wanting the lobotomy in my brain

Tired of mania running my life

As the emotions roll off my tongue

The vulgar chaotic rage controls

Then the subdued feelings hit

Falling into the darkness

Fighting with all the emotions

As too much happiness leads to mania

I swallow my antidepressant thinking it will help conquer the darkness

One pill two pill medication more

Therapy skills to conquer it more

To write your heart out pen to paper

Can I comprehend what this insanity is?

Losing myself losing my sanity losing my mind

To be at such a crossroad in life if you should slit your throat or cut your heart open

Ready to bleed and do you need to see what's in this insanity

I dare you to peek in my mind

Chaotic wonderous Bliss of rage

Carnage hatred destruction peace

Peace wanted within the heart

Working towards kindness to another

There's not enough kindness in my heart to be nice to myself

Here on the inside I'm bleeding my soul is chaotic

Is this is what's destined to me?

Stuck with insanity

Wondering when the mania will end?

Back home soon home is where the heart is

Off to see the doctor for some unwanted Bliss

What will be next to dismiss