Rationalize

Why must I control myself
Unable to rationalize in the moments
That reaches to the soul
Key to my heart
Hear my spirit roar
Unable to want self to recover
Complete defiance
Tears roll down my face
Burning my eyes
Why must it be this way
Yes I have tired
What would that be called
Distraction to justify
A release of issues
Do not grab a tissue
Maybe now that I've been thinking of suicide
Today anyways
Tonight now
Tomorrow
I know I'm worth it
Yet I try to rationalize
To feel
To bend my mind
Mindfulness to the max
Try some DBT they said
Bah whatever been there done that it helps for but seconds on the reel.
Try to cope...