Faithful

Be Faithful
Faith it keeps you calm

In the church there maybe some sour people but be faithful
God is Just God is merciful
To be faithful keeps us balanced

First off be faithful to Abba God Jesus
Without him We are truly Lost

There was a man i heard today
he taught to be Faithful
Be Faithful to the church, to your family to your neghbores and lasty to God and your fellowship.

In the church we find pious people
Look to them for fellowship
I know I tried to find a church other than this one
But it didnt make sense to me
They were teaching Gods word all wrong
To not take it literal
They changed Gods Word
To mold it to their own nafs
Not to Gods commandments

I truly looked into my self
Was i to follow my nafs or to follow the holyness of Gods Word

So here i stand,sit,kneel
begging God to guide me
the scars on me show that i know pain
But this mortal pain in nothing compared to the enternal hellfire
So follow God
Aquire Felllowship
I love God more than i love myself I love my family and my church Family
I love them because God commands me to love them and the fellowship
So be Faithful
I chose the harder path for the blissful reward

So my friends will you follow yours nafs and preach falsehood
or seek out the pious people for they have faithfulness
Find the fellowship in yourself, home, church
Truly you will return to the heavenly father
Fall to your knees and ask Abba for forgiveness

Repent of your wicked ways
Seek salvation in your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
So i leave you to pounder this
Remeember without hope we are lost
without God you cannot grasp your hope
Hold onto your hope for your sanity is near it and without you are truly lost

So brethen I ask you to ask your heart to get it rght with God
In Jesus name
Amen

Lost but Found

I trust in the Lord with all my heart
Dont lose your hope for you sanity is near it
Do you have Hope
But feel it slipping from your grasp
Do not worry
Fall to your knees and seek fogiverness
Beg your Lord to be mericful
Let the Holy Spirit embrace you
So that you can feel the lord

Lord I know I have sinned against you
But I beg you to guide my heart
I repent to you alone
and can only Hope that you will accept my repentance

Trust in the word to guide you
Rest in Gods promises and trust in God and self

We think we invinsble
but we are weak
we are but flesh

We follow the shepard through the word
That is the bible
Some refer to psalm and some to hebrews

the word is living
in you and I and everyone
Remeber to live a holy pious life
Live as though today is your last
it could be you never know when God will call you back
So I leave you with this little reminder my friends

Followers

Followers of almighty Lord
Why leave your families and friends for a mere man
But my friend you mistaken your words
For this is not a mere man
but God in the flesh
Son of Abba the father
interwined with the holy spirit
let it bear its sweet fruits so you can taste
I know for a fact
IT happened to me
I see the light and i shall tremble in awe to witness the Lord in Flesh

Suddently I fell to my knees
to save his son from the pagans
when shall his suffering end...
Then suddently tears began to swell in my face
The end had finally come
Will I not know salvation i thought as tears fell to the ground
He was gone
How could i waste my time to witnessing
only to have the Lord die before he could Save me

Three days passed since the death of Jesus Christ
A man came running to me saying: I heard the rock was moved Christ has risen
Was this true
I went to the mother of our Lord and lo there Christ had risen to tell
his brethen his children
That he died for all of us
for all our sins
as there is no way to the father except through Christ

Perfect as our beingis since we have seen God in the flesh
For he was no different from you nor I
So my friend you truly not free until you feel fruitful light soothe the body
Everlasting joy of the Holy Spirit which is intertwined with Lord Savior Jesus Christ and Abba the Father

So my friend
I have seen now you fall to your knees
Do not worry for those tears from you and i
are but joyus as they flood the heart

So now that i have shown the way
we can bask in the light of the Lord together forever
Will you my Lord and true Savior
Hold me close
Never abandon me
Nor will I wavier

In Jesus Lord Saviors Name
Amen

Here we are today

Take me away
Oh wonderus Day
Joyus we are
Music happiness
People
Magic in the air
Diffirent cultures
Movies stars
Singers
artists
Where are we
but a dream poundering until wonderus beauty consumes us
Smile dont forget
Open your mind
Allow New thoughts
endless conversations
Smile its a kindness
Bring your Hope here
Its in my heart and i shall share it with all
Will you
Come join us
Dont worry your welcome

What Shall Ye Say

What shall i say to God on judgement day
if i was perish right now on the hour
I truly know im in a terrible state
a maniac known to panic as worry sets in
questions arise
am i perfect
am i wrong
Glory to creator for we shall answer to him alone
Saved by the grace of the son, overflown hath the fruits of the holy spirit
one can hope these fruits are ready to bear
Though shall not judge
that is for our Lord who is all knowing all merciful

he is the judge
I find myself drifting back and forth between good and bad habits
Bless those who are pios in this walk of life
and those who are pios in my own life
who dedicate this walk to life to please God and for God is all forgiving
For his word is our guide
the books the old testiment and the new
nothing has changed
even though our enemies say our word is corrupted I challenge them to prove it
Again nothing has changed
God didnt change his mind
and he protects his word

So take the covenment of thy Lord to the heart with glory
So my Lord Jesus Christ save me from myself
keep my sanity in my grasp like my Hope

in Jesus name
amen

a million emotions

I feel so out of place
yes if that is possible
to feel out of place in your thoughts
my mind just plays tricks on me

he he ha ha says the voices in my head
laughing as i sob a thousand tears
Why must this happen
I rather have rage then despair in my heart
but maybe they are right that depression is just anger on the inside

No they are wrong
stupid doctors
they think they know what is going on with me
how would they know when i hardly know

I miss him so much
why must the pain of my fathers death bother me so
its been 20 years you think i would groan up over the years
but im still a blubbering mess

I think i cried over a million tears in the past three days
not that its matters
a friend well i thought they were a friend told me i do my depression for attention

yes that fucking it i want attention thats why i took the blade to skin
bullshit
never once did i seek attention from others hense i hide my cuts and burns
i been doing this a long time
probually to long
remeber your no longer a child
it was permissable once
but no longer
so Lindsey think hard before you pick up another blade or lighter
you can barely face the flame of this world

how will you prepare your self for the hellfire
you think you will go there
so you will probually

Yet you ask for help from your lord
why

Truth be told i dont know where i will end up as for im saved
because i follow the light
but the darkness lingers in me
there is no room for that in the golden gates of heaven

I dont know who i will become because the emptiness
how much it hurts me is a part of me
But without one the other cannot be
God said be so here i am

I just want to be free of the hate i consumed for myself
Do my scars not show how much i hate my emotions

I rather slice a new wound than face old tears
Am i a horrible person...
because i self harm
i dont know
i dont want to think that way
snap out of it lindsey
breath in and out

There it is one single tear i cant take it
So thats my bit on how i feel
that single tear turns to hundreds within minutes
then bliss can follow
please be that feeling tonight please

Authoo billah mina shayton ajeem
I refuge in God from the acursed satan
Speak no evil see no evil
do not give that old devil power
He has none over me
For God Lord Almighty is watching over me
And Jesus my lord and savior is with my heart

Long awaiting

I dont know what is becoming of me as of late
this quick to feel high
without any drugs
i feel as though i dying on the inside and the drugs well the medication
they keep me balanaced but guess what?
I have none i been off them for a while
im unable to see him my doctor
what to do now
but another endless night
i find myself sleeping more and more
to escape this dank dark feelings

i know its been five months since i self harmed
but im afraid that i will break that streak tonight
perhaps its time for a visit
to walk across a free way and see if you get to the other side safely
walking high on building ready to jump to see if i could fly

no use to going to the hostipal
they just stick you in a little room
till there is nothing to help you but your own thoughts
attack you
blam pang bang boom
miles and seconds collude until you dont know what to do

I fall to my knees pray to my God to help me
and yet nothing

not even sernenity can save my heart from myself
thos dank darkness that lingers and then the emptiness consumes
you would hope this would help me
as they did before
but im afraid im still alone in the night with nothing but the voices and faces attacking

Slice goes the skin
blood down the sleeves
drip drip drip
Knive against the juglar
slice slice slice
only if that was true
but it is a feeling and i shall seek it out forever

So God if you loved me so much
to die for me
then why cannot not just die in peace
the bloody path awaiting me

Till next time my friend if there is one that is

Panic Mania Manic Depressive

Panic i feel it in the air
in my every being
but why?
you ask
Because im starting to lose my mind
Its was rather silly
why did i do it?
Manic in the midst
mania wanting to be as you are free

I feel i belong locked away in nothing but glimpse of sun light
its funny though you think this would be the same as before
well hate to break it to you
im down but not done
my faith eman hasnt been rippped from my grasp
So then my Hope is left a flicker in the flame as he snickers
he lingers in the night

As the sun sets i truly know
for my fissrah
hyper senstivety they called in on the unit
lovely really so great for someone who suffers from so much diffirent and diverse demons

not in the bibical sense
demons just small things at eat away at your soul
little things
you wouldnt guess what dirty dank darkness lingers in us all but mostly me
for im a manic person
sometimes i wonder if my morality is right because remeber im freak a geek and darn right enccentric

There he goes again a brush by the shoulder a cold shudder as that whisper flows in thy heart
but Thank thy Lord Jesus
he is my savior
so i know im saved as long as i am close to the word and God Almighty

Depressive states i have hit
after the high that is
i burned money for the budget of the month in less than 2 weeks
I really screwed my self over then
but thank God for my supports

so silly that when dusk sets demons well suck and wiggle in the soul trying to get at my fruits of the holiness of the holy spirit.
so what do
but sleep as soon as you feel bad
unfortually im so restless
because im in a rut and mania is setting in once again

So my friends this is me for now
There is Hope im Glad to say
But there is emptiness
There is the mania that invites vile beasts
but without him i would be lost
For Jesus is my Lord and Savior