Am I worthless

I don't know where to start
One two three four
Here we go
Once again one pill two three four
Down the throat they go
Why must I depends so much on this
Artificial happiness
But ever so it brings balance to me
I want to die
I don't know what's wrong with me
I scream inside my heart
As the tears begin to swell and ever will they flow
I have support
I have friends family counselors doctor's my yet I still feel ever so alone
I sit here upon the edge
Shall I just to my death
Shall I fall backwards
Only to dream upon the moon
I lay here in my bed
As insomnia ponders
I'm unbalanced
Emotions run rampant
Why
I ask
Are you inside my head
Whispers ever so
They seek the light within the mind
Clouded I am
As the voices consume my inner soul
Am I lost but not yet found
I feel calm but empty at the same time
Emptiness
I wish I never knew this
I wish I was dumb so I'd be down right dead
But here I am being
Within the chaos
Cycle of Chaos
It bends and twists inside my head
I'm warped
Beyond repair
I'm madd you see
Insane in the menbrane
Unable to comprehend
Shall jump to my death
Slice away night
So might find some inner peace
Unless my Hasty actions well lead to my eternal weakness
Emotions still run around my head
But as las the sun arises
Maybe today it will be a better day

The FoxyTrot

Well tired the old game and just surviving
Unable to cope I found my mind wander
into the night sky
I take a deep breath and just breath
will this help me in my insanity
Trying the web far and wide can I cope with what is next in the days to come
shall I revert back to the old ways
without the prescription 1 pill 2 pill 3 4 they never seem to end
pills be not the skill you need to seek out
Feel on those feeling and just feel
plain of sally here I am without flavor
bland for the time being
I wrapped my self up
like a present on tomorrow
am I ready to expand beyond my box
Try the foxtrot
as I expand
Watch me brightly
Am I shinning
for I am a Star child
For me high in the sky
My smile is far from me as I drown within my insanity
just live they say
cover my eyes
cover my ear and mouth
I'm deaf-blind dumb
unable to be

So where am I going
I on the railroad heading for disaster
Slamming the breaks but wanting to let go
So go girl go
don't look back to the pack
free to be me
even with my insanity