Lighting the way

On the bleak path, upon dismay

Care to stay, unable to breathe

So I scream, silently

Cuts so deeply, devouring desires

Shall this reap destruction?

I am me, free to be

Upon this insanity

Let me be

Chorus on the way, let one pray

Darkness reading the room

Waking in the day of night

In a deep cold sweat

Taking the flame to the torch

To light the way, following the Noor

Taking refuge within my serenity

Let me be, worshipping Allah

So be it, even when all are against me

Even myself

I strive truly try

Wanting nothing but bliss

But only to dismiss

Am I worthy?

Upon tomorrow, another way

Path set ahead

Strive, do good

Illusion of the display

Let me pray, perhaps paying the price

To hope for today, so tomorrow doesn't fade away

So let us pray, for hope

To light the way

Path found

Here I am wondering

What will be?

Sway with me

As I flow

As the river that be's

Emotions run through me

Destined that be

Chaos that deemed

Let's see

Upon this insanity

Nothing but a dream to be

To find serenity

Dreaming truly a dillusion

Psychotic episode

Chaos comes with me

I am the storm

The maniac wanting something more

Hoping for freedom

Wanting nothing but to find

Hope is what's needed

Shall it be?

Destined for me

Seems to be

Destruction of a disaster

Explosion of nafs

What I want?

What I do?

It's up to me

So I truly need

To find the Peace

What light is meant?

The Noor in heart

Calls you

To the truth

Let it be

To seek the knowledge

To need the peace

Redeem yourself

Call upon the Lord

Allah Almighty

The greatest

Finding hope

Will save myself

So I seek Allah

Always

Even in the dank darkness

There be a flicker of hope

That will save me

Truly let's see

What will come indeed

1 2 3 breathe

Let me breathe

Upon this anxiety

For the deep breaths can save me

An unfamiliar feeling set in stone

Carnivorous is the deed

Unable to feel

Anxiety brings uncertainty

Uncertain of what the future holds

Uncertain of what to do

Standing here within my insanity

In the Infinite culture cycle

Drip drop on the dot

What will come of this?

Suffocating to the max

Unable to comprehend how to breathe so silently so deeply

So 1 2 3 breathe in 4 5 6 breathe out

Repeat

Holding on to hope

That there will be serenity

If one follows their Deen

Perhaps serenity can be sought

Hoping for freedom

Freedom of the emotions that rapidly turn

Swifting in and out swaying so lightly

On the roller coaster of disaster

A maniac on a rampage

Only to feel serenity one moment

Up up the stairs to Cloud 9

Does this define

What reality may be

Upon this time 

Remember to breathe

For that is Hope indeed

The neverending chaos

Conquered by the chaos

Wrecking to the brim

Unable to comprehend

This hope I feel inside

Conquered by the chaos

Striving for more

Follow the path to serenity

But one is stopped

By the Fate that be

Taking a twist and turn on the path

Unable to comprehend

Destruction here and there

Up down all around

Taking the Ecstasy of life

Conquered by the Nafs

Desires here there and where

Coming to me

I ready the blade

To write love on one's arm

For lost within hope

One struggles to gain

In this world so tainted

Will there ever be peace

Peace of mind

As those whispers conquer me so

A snicker here and a snicker there

To seek refuge in my Lord

To call upon him to gather the strength within

Standing tall, here I am

Unable to comprehend

But striving more to the ever never-ending cycle

To find myself here

Within the future that be

Will I conquer my soul

So I shall seek the lord always

For without him I truly am lost

Having something

It runs through my

That losing of Hope

Having it one second

Losing grasp once again

Disappointed in the outcome

Of the dillusion

Comprehend what compassion is

Having hope within the heart is but a goal

Wanting something more

Ever so more

Now let's care

Shall we stare

Blankly at our nafs

Cleansing life

Let me be

Free of in insanity

So let me breathe so deeply

Do soundly

May my heart be right in the mighty light

Bringing peace

Wanting serenity

Will I get

Someday inshallah

Wanting something more

What will it be?

So unknown

Will this be what hope seems?

Bismillah

Let me breathe so soundly

hope on happiness

Falling into the darkness

Standing at the wall of solitude

To Bear witness

That insanity is what deems me to be

Is this my jihad?

A true struggle

Needing something more

Running on the railroad

Wanting it all to end

To slip on sanity

To know what comes with doom

To reckon what is right

Perhaps it is in this light

But darkness fades into thy heart

Here I am wrecking my mind

Broken, tarnished and wrecked

Shall I dismiss the abyss

Does this mean that I'm lost indeed

Do I know what this means

I scream and scream

Reckoning with the Almighty

What is meant for me them and I

Are those whispers so deeply real?

Upon this time

Upon the light

Upon hope

To find Hope

To grasp it within all

Infinity everlasting love

Sought by all

Destruction is here

Shall it be pure

The pain, the tarnish and the doom

What will become of me?

Within what is deemed

Chaotic of the heart

A blade to the skin

Repeating one on one

What does this mean to be

Broken Beyond perhaps I can redeem

For sanity is needed

To acquire this hope

To keep your grasp

Shall I seek thy Lord

For him to conquer the darkness within my heart

Seeking refuge with Allah from the acursed Satan

Let this happiness be

Afraid not of what is come to be

Can I be free to want happiness

For maybe the illusion of the heart

For this is my delusion

That happiness is attainable

For the delusion is of the mind madness conquers all

Breaking my soul open to the Lord

To save me from myself

To let me accept

What the true light is

One can only hope

The Heart

My heart is beating within my chest

Going to the rhythm not knowing what to do

Stuck in this chaos

The cycle of insanity

And let us plea with the Lord indeed

To seek refuge in the Almighty

From The whispers of the Satan

In the cycle of Chaos

I strike on daring not to fret

The chaos in the heart

Ripped my soul to flesh

The Ecstasy of the Cloud 9

Stripped of humanity

Burden by destruction

To cut to save a life

To burn to stop to cut

To rip beyond the bend

Rock and roll

Here we are

On the chaos

A cycle for you

Within this chaotic humanity

For thy seek thy Lord

In times of destruction

Shall I seek the peace?

Bringing happiness at every desire

Not leaving happiness to The psychotic mania

Running on the railroad not knowing what to do

Perhaps happiness is not attainable

For the cycle of chaos has everlasting

To rip, cut, and burn

What will come next indeed

Will it be insanity

Or will it be a test for me

Seeking serenity

Wanting peace

Truly finding this

With the faith of the heart

Lose not hope

But lose the destruction of the heart

Let me breathe deeply

For the insanity that breeds within my heart indeed

I'm saved for myself from God almighty

For he is the one that will save you from the insanity

So please plea with the Lord 

For me save your soul one way or another

Remember keep the peace within the heart

And the insanity at bay

Don't forget to plea

Even within this insanity

con 2 the fusion

Getting the bubble is about to burst

Screaming so insanely

Pulled to the edge

Sanding mourning but for this to end

Looking at the edge

Wanting to take a leap

Feeling sunken 

Like an old ship

Young but old

Will I wake ever

From this illusion

It's this reality

The shade falls to my heart

Suffocating they light

Darkness shall reign

Creeping emtional damage

Broken beyond the bend

Here I am

Standing tall

For Allah will save me from myself

For Islam is the best of the medication you could take

Allah the most forgiving the most loving

He is the greatest of all

Allahu Akbar

Am I free

Finally from these shackles they lock my light away

I recite so slightly

The confusion

It conquers my mind

But still thy Lord

Always

I am broken aspired to rebuild

From the strength you have given me

Alhamdulillah 

We be free

To choose

Are you ready?

I know I am

To Seek

Searching everlasting searching

Pondering upon time within insanity

What will come from pondering?

Perhaps one would be wallowing in the abyss

Not knowing why

Screaming so silently

Why must I be?

Within this tarnish deeds

I find serenity

To plea with the Lord indeed

For he is the only one worthy of worship

Allah the Almighty

Lost within the darkness

Just a flicker of the Noor

Is enough to conquer

For light will always overcome the shade

To be in Redemption from being tarnished

Are you ready for me?

Where to go?

Nowhere

Simply be

With sabr that brings hope

So I still scream

But what Joy indeed

Even within this insanity

I simply am being

For Allah said be

So here I am being within the insanity

Practicing sabr an acquiring ilm

Beating within my every being

Allowing the emotions to not overcome me

To bring happiness indeed

That is what is needed

Where to find you say

Look to the Lord

For he is Almighty All Merciful

So let it be let it be

Destined to be within the insanity

Hoping for peace

To much

Up and down and all around

Hip hop hippity hoppity hop

How Grand it seems

Running around

Unable to grasp for what reality is

Dizzy beyond the bend

Hear the trumpets roar

Blasting the sound so soundly

Confusion to the max

Unable to comprehend what you know is

Unable to do anything but be

Not knowing what reality is

Surely this is not the delusion

Within this life that seems like an illusion

Falling to my knees not knowing what to do

Come to a fork in the road which way to go indeed

I reckon it's right for me

Perhaps it's left indeed

I split with no conclusion

And this is truly a delusion

Perhaps now but that's then perhaps the insanity will come then

Tick tock on the clock

Conclusion will this ever end

Hop hop hippity hop hop

Where do you want to go?

Will this Insanity ever end

I just want to know what reality is

Is that too much to ask for

The demands

To the starting line

Upon this time

What demands of us?

What do we need?

Will these things bring serenity?

Ask these questions when we are corrupted

Within our destined desire

We find that we are no match for "He"

Who is this the most supreme the most merciful Allah indeed

Bang was the race on the go

Starting off at a steady flow

As the hurdles begin to come

Somebody struggling to jump over them

But those who matter most are those who strive

Who fall to the ground but get back up

The ones who do not give up

Running to the end 

Wanting nothing but desires to fade

Wanting no happiness no Love no hate nothing

I want to be an empty inside 

 I don't want to feel anymore

Will this ever end as I'm running to the finish line what to do indeed

Shall I reach out to thy Lord and ask for his Mercy

But I find myself bickering with him instead

I Fall to my knees as I almost reached the finish line and what do you do

But solely be

Even in this Insanity that wrecks me

Blessed be this time indeed

For the sanity is here

At the finish line indeed

If you have Sabr

Then perhaps you will overcome what is here

In all that you had in life do we know what it means to be

Perhaps I know what this means

For we are but slaves to our desires but in reality

We are but a slave to Allah

So even in this chaotic deen I have

I still find serenity within me

As I surrender putting my head to the ground and worshiping Allah

Do not give up

Do not hate

Love God

Love self

Love others

We should go by this everyday

Counting my pennies up today

Not knowing if I have enough currency to beat the dismay

Running on a railroad not knowing what to do

Up and down all around all the merry go round and go

Merry go around try a roller coaster up and down all around

The mind goes rapidly not knowing what to do

So once again I Fall to my knees and worship the one and only

The most merciful the most gracious

He who see's the unknown

That is Allah

The one and only

So save me from myself so I may find serenity within this Deen

Blessed be even though the insanity is here blessed be lovely indeed

.... isolation

Where to go?

Up to the bend

Upon to the doom

Into the solitude

The isolation

Fulfilling to the brim of absolution

Destined for thy to be

Stuck in this destined insanity

To be content to be humble

To have patience

Such to strive so

Everlasting

Tears rapidly fall as the insanity breaks

My spirit is broken

I do not know where to go

Here I am lost within the solitude my mind everlasting

Is this insanity

Every single emotion that rip through me

Let's bring the cycle of chaos into the picture

Running at a fork to a road

Which way to go which way to go Up down all around

To let myself scream

To let myself be deemed

Is this destined for me

The solitude of insanity

Absolutely exhaustion to the brim

Unable to care anymore

But one strives on

So Inshallah hope comes soon

Or has it already arrived

Only time will tell

Well Insanity rule over me or will serenity find me

Ever lasting questions

Shall continue onwards

defeated?

I may be broken but I am not defeated

Fact being I'm far from broken

I am constantly rebuilding

For everyone has struggle in life

For one has not walked in another shoes for not to judge that person for they do not know

Wise words for one who said so

If only one before they judges

Remembers the wise words of those before us

That we all have strife in life

That we all struggle

And to some point we will succeed

Even in our broken chaotic state

We are not deemed for disaster

Even if the disaster has come to a phase of mania that deems it Bliss

With this Bliss be enough to consume you

To bring your heart strong

To rise to one another shoulders

To build to rise to need to help

It's better to constantly build yourself

So that you may pay it forward

Make that what matters a fact

I am broken I am free to be flawed even within this chaos Deen

I am broken but I am not defeated

maybe again

I scream within this insanity

Let it be

The chaos that deems my soul

For the anger is here

Biting down onto my flesh

My heart is burning

I'm melting

I am lost

Where to go

But in the cycle of chaos

Let it be even worth a bit of sanity

I scream so everlasting silently

Let me bleed

Crimson bliss

Let the Chaos flow

Why

Will I ever be so

Happy with out going manic

Here I am being

Cutting burning feeling

Stuck in traffic

Of the heart and soul

I scream so silently

Will I be free to bleed...

Losses

Where to go

Falling into the abyss

Failing to hope

Wanting nothing but the emptiness to control

Running on the fire

These coals burn my emotions so

To breath is but a burden

Wanting nothing but to end

As hope is lost

Unable to comprehend what hope can be

Thinking I could find it

Such a foolish move

Darkness sweeps in

Taking my soul

In these times

I Trek

Only to strive

To succeed

To want

To believe in Hope

Only time will tend

I am but a burden

To this world

Corruption to the core

The monster inside

Letting it go

Not wanting to stop

Wanting to feel but one emotion

Unfortunately

Hope still Wonders within my mind

That can be found with faith

So speak to your heart

To breath as God said be

So here I am

Being free to be me

beating dead beat

Crumble at the base

Here you stay

Unable to hope

To bring happiness is but a wish

That will never be in the midst of my life

Here I am, empty

Emotions flow, burning so

Rapid unlimited emotions

Ripping through the flesh

Am I breathing?

I feel I'm suffocating

So many burns

To cut to tear to reach

Wanting nothing but ruin

These burning balls of energy

Shine so brightly

Hoping for tomorrow

Wanting it to just end

To fall into slumber

Catch my breath

Only to hope

For the beat to stop

To set me free

As the emotions burden me so

For Chelsea

As the time

Bears witness

To a date

To ponder upon Time

To wander into the Galaxy skies

Devastation in the mind

Hopelessness narrows here

Here there everywhere

Upon this time

I hear a call

The Angels sing

Wanting nothing but peace

Peace of mind piece of soul

Pondering what will come in this night to be

Wondering what is wondrous indeed

To not give in to the darkness

To fight that darkness

To give yourself hope

For the light is knocking on your soul

Screaming to let it in

Will you open the door for it

Perhaps peace will find you then

Here Now

Falling into grace

Perhaps it's not in this place

The emotions burn as the tears fall

Separate the feelings

I don't want to feel this 

It burns not so softly

Whisper here and near

Perhaps we shall escalate

Hoping for sanity

Hitting rock bottom

With my emotions

They say to heal

To speak

To share

Perhaps it will get better

I twist so violently

What is next for me

The emotions breath within me

For I am being

Following the leader

Harden soul meets the end

Falling through them looking glass

Follow that white rabbit down that hole

To the most of the abyss

Falling, screaming until no end

My heart rhythmed to the beat

Empathy for all, but not for me

I want happiness but it never comes

Down and what not

What will become of me?

Wondering if this insanity is meant for me

Is this Destiny?

Let me breath, I'm suffocating from all the rapid emotions

Ready set go

Up up up to cloud 9

Blissful deeds

Energy for me

Smile once smile twice

Happiness is that what I need

To fight on

Too break the desire

Devouring disorder

Will it end?

Unthinkable

Let us ponder

The only way

Here I am

Beating heart

Wanting to find serenity, is this is meant to be

I must surrender

To seek refuge in Allah the Almighty

Blessed be within the insanity

Will I ever be free of the tarnished soul

I want to strive to please Allah the one and only

Never leave me

Increase my eman inshallah

Does this mean with this destiny that I'm meant to Breath deep breaths

To seek refuge from the chaos

That burdens me so

I walk destructive ways

Waking up with insanity

Blessed be I am me

A full creation of Allah

Thank you for to This chance 

Blessed be within this Deen

Follow the way

Islam the only way