somewhere

ToDay to tell the skill

Of the pills

Does this define me

That I cannot survive without these

Pritter Patter let's get at there

Here I am lost

A slight haze perhaps this is the maze

To trot plot prance is this trance

Where did this leave me

Hopeful

But dreading the emptiness depression

As they conquer the heart

Might I scream

What's next to me

I haven't lost my Eman

Just distant from the Deen

I rather not associate myself with them

It's clear

I don't belong

But I'm free

Allahu

Are you there for me

Skills before pills

Will I find serenity

Tell me what it means to be

If Allah Almighty

Please guide me

Ameen

What is this?

Where do I stand upon this mind
That see's beyoung what is reality
Is this deemed for me
Bless me
Here I am
Destranged upon the sanity

I am scared
By what society has deemed me
In this day to come
What is meant to be to see
Well this is inanity
My mind is distranged beyond the bliss
I scream
What am I meant to be
So I plea and plea
With God almighty

I waiver who doesnt
we all do
and some more than most
I call upon Allah to help me conquer my heart
I bleed and scorned to be upon the blissed
This is whats meant to be
For me anyways
I wish I could Think diffiretly
But this is me
Yes no lie
This is me
I hurt more than most
Am i strong
only with you
Allahu Allhu
with me
inshallah
dont be afraid
For God is all knowing
All mericful
Bismillah arhaman arheem
Thats enought for me

Deen

Oh Allah
I thankful for what has to to be
Inshallah
IT will help me
To conquer the darkness and aqquire the light
My heart beats so rapidly
I still am strained
But
Inshallah
I will conquer the darkness
And share the light
That noor is meant for all
Man and Jinn akind
Nature will you pray
Show me the way
As the mountain offers their salah
I stand and bow and protrate
For you Alone
Alhamduillah
Boy am I full of noor
For my eman is higher than the past
I suffer
But I am Free
To be
For Allah said
inshallah
Let peace be brought to heart and soul
To conquer the darkness
And let the light shine
Inshallah
We all will fight darkness
in this time and day
Its our fate
For the ummah within the dunya in the deen
Thank you
Ukhti and Akhi
For helping me
Showing the sunnah
The way
As we pray as the prophet SAW
Alhamduillah for him
To be the seal and to bring perfect perfection
The Quran
The true and final word of God
inshallah
We suffer
But never lose hope
I suppose I am worthwhile
Allahu allim
We were meant to be
For Allah said be
So say with me
Alhamduillah
For islam
The true deen

Stray

As the mind twists and turn
I feel so alone and lost within the abyss
But here I am being
Just as it was said to Be
To ponder upon the nights sky
To define what is in the eye
Bliss deemed for all
I am good
I am  Bad
Alhamduillah I love you
I truly love Allah with my heart and soul
But I drift and shift and turn
Beyond that bend
Does this define what is behide the bliss
When it withers
Sun soaked bliss
Of everlasting light
So come with me tonight
As I slumber waiting for dawn
Hoping to submit to the one and only
That is Allah
Do you know what haq is?
yes but  I stray
I return to bliss
And let it define you as it did me
Never loose hope
Allah is always with you
Never alone
To conquer the darkness
perhaps tonight

listen to me

I am ME who is being
Within this reality deemed for me
Does it have meaning? What will this bring?
Happiness dare to care
To drift in thy heart as its raptured
From the darkness
The shadow
I swallow that hard pill to swallow
As we all face such a challenge

What is my Jihad?
My struggle
I feel as I lost can I just breat
A deep dreath to bring some sanity

Here I am
just hip and scotch down the path

Swirling in my mind
 The uncertainty to believe
So many doubts that are here is this the meaning
What is meant for me
On the Dunya
Within the ummah
I feel so distant from such a nation such of islam

Hey here I am
Shouting out
Loud and proud
Queer
Fag
Dyke

I will always be free even in there is hearafter

You cannot beat me down
I will bear this on my heart
That I wear on my sleeve

Only to always feel unsafe

I am me
Lindsey
Holler on thee
To deem if its meant for me

So
Here I am
Being
Queer near to the heart never leaving me
Challenge me I tear you down

I may feel lonely but I will always have
Allah on my side
Even if I so queer

family

She's here wrecking havoc on my supports

She says she's loves me

Is that truly true

I know I was a hard handle but I was just a kid too

How many times do I have to run on the runway

For forgiveness to rupture your heart

Do you understand

You have two parents

I only have one

My father is lost within a dream

Shuttered to these feelings

The question is will Mom choose both of us

I think she will favor you always

Blessed child

You are

Down to the shadows

I am here

Sulking

Wallowing

Here I rise

Strive each day

To help myself

I am nothing without my supports

Holding to Fight

Knock knock

At the hearts door

I stare so blindly at my destiny 

Was this meant for me

Shall I open a  verse and recite thee

I'm drowning hoping that Allah will save me so

Auuthoo Billah mina shayton ajeem

I seek refuge in God from the accursed Satan

I'm barely here, That breath but that life you wrote for me

Does it set me free

I am tarnished

Am I still muslim

I pray to thee lord destined not just for me

But for every being that was To BE

I'm still barely holding on to my sanity

Those patterns follow me

In my sight barely being

they are a reality as i see them but only to me

Swallow this

Jinn if you ever being in me

To hold against the deen in this dunya 

I scream so silently but worry not for Allah hears all our cries and knows all our fears

I fear you 

Oh Allah almighty and the one to save humanity and jinns to be

I fear your might

Almighty merciful Allah that sees all hearts follow our nafs

Which a good 

Which are bad

We have the Words to tell us so

Follow me i'm floating up to surface

And here I am

Still followed by the faces that are patterns

I plead and will plea until the day of judgement

Then you have eternal right to deem me where

But please dont lose me

I'm trying hard to not float along

But to fight against the current

That is my jihad for me you and them