Sorrows come and go

Down streaming, the cloud's coming

Bringing the sorrow, upon the tears that drop

Burning so slightly, shall I do the deadly deed? 

The night is near but never great l fear 

The great power is near 

He hears all, knows all

The merciful the Lord

He calls me

The night coming to an end

Will this be possible 

To bend and not break

Losing my mind to the confusion 

Now break up, leave the bad deeds 

Finally I breathe those deep breaths 

My slumber comes to an end

For the call comes 

With dawn to start 

Have I been good

I wonder....

I offer my Salah to the Almighty

The Lord calls me

Stuck in the chaos of the mind

Will the reciting save me

I shall bend not breaking

Offer my my self

To you Lord of lords 

Help me break free

Shahadah 

There is no God but Allah and his messenger is Muhammed

Breaking free from najs

The days come and go

Running out of time

Will this end, bring peace

To overcome the nafs

Come and go

Bringing peace of mind

Allah always will guide me

1 2 3 breathe

Let me breathe

Upon this anxiety

For the deep breaths can save me

An unfamiliar feeling set in stone

Carnivorous is the deed

Unable to feel

Anxiety brings uncertainty

Uncertain of what the future holds

Uncertain of what to do

Standing here within my insanity

In the Infinite culture cycle

Drip drop on the dot

What will come of this?

Suffocating to the max

Unable to comprehend how to breathe so silently so deeply

So 1 2 3 breathe in 4 5 6 breathe out

Repeat

Holding on to hope

That there will be serenity

If one follows their Deen

Perhaps serenity can be sought

Hoping for freedom

Freedom of the emotions that rapidly turn

Swifting in and out swaying so lightly

On the roller coaster of disaster

A maniac on a rampage

Only to feel serenity one moment

Up up the stairs to Cloud 9

Does this define

What reality may be

Upon this time 

Remember to breathe

For that is Hope indeed

Sriving for uncertainty

Creating chaos at The rim

Unable to comprehend what worthwhile hope is

Am I valuable?

For I feel worthless

Stuck in the abyss

Wanting to dismiss

Despair reading its spear

To pierce the heart ever so

To devastate

To create chaos

Calculated chaos at the brim

Bursting at the seams not knowing what to do

I Fall to my knees calling to my Lord

Reckoning that the light will save me

Perhaps this is right indeed

The Noor is here

To follow the light

To know the light

To want the light

Wanting to strive on in this world of despair

Anxiety to the max, an old familiar feeling

Uncertainty that I will win

I strive on always

Stronger at every moment

Around the bend I go running from the darkness

Hoping for light to come

Finding that with my Lord indeed

For he is the light that I seek

Allah The Almighty

Blessed Be

From you to me

To bring serenity

To want happiness

To bring the peace

Stopping destruction

Wanting more

Striving on

Will this be it?

Here I am

Walking my path of destruction

But always striving for the Noor

Upon tomorrow to come

Rise each day blessing thy Lord

Bismillah to start

Alhamdulillah to end

What must I comprehend?

That be hope

Hoping for today 

So tomorrow doesn't fade

The haze is here

I am but lost, not no more

For the light shines on

Shining through the mist

Of my heart and soul

Shall I dismiss?

Perhaps time will tell

What the heart seeks

For the light is near and dear

For the darkness is familiar

So seek the light for you will find hope there in 

To strive on

 Where to go from here

Lost in the abyss, trying to dismiss 

These emotions run through me rapidly 

Rapidly turning

As the corner comes to a sharp turn

As the darkness sleeps in to consume

Upon this time

Shall I ready the flame?

Shall I prepare myself for disaster?

Walking on the path of destruction

A 50/50 on life

Not knowing what to do but to strive only

To be content beyond the bend

To follow the light

Away from the darkness

Those Snickers follow you

And the visions come ever flowing

Will my sanity ever come?

Wondering upon this time

Well I simply be

Within this destiny

That's meant for thyself

With destruction in my heart

Wearing it on my sleeve

Pin cushion heart

Stick all the emotions inside me as they burn

Tears stripping down my skin

Unable to comprehend

What to do indeed

Perhaps I shall recite

Something that is needed

To seek refuge in the Lord the Almighty

So please let it be

From destruction to noor 

Upon this time to come

The not so far away future 

Will I survive? 

Upon this time to come

Destined to be stuck in destruction

To be content with disaster

To be humble within self

To strive always

Try not to give up

For I am strong

So perhaps you are too

Bicker

What am I?

Am I defeated?

Broken beyond the bend

Seeking solitude of the heart

For the emotions are overbearing

As they sway in and out of the heart

Devastating every motion

Defeated?

Perhaps not

For the light inside is knocking

Knocking on the darkness

Breaking its way through

For light will prevail

For it seeks the solitude to save you

Defeated I think not

Striving onwards always

When broken beyond the bend 

I am but rebuilding

Seeking the Noor

Treading through the darkness

Never giving in

Struggling to prevail

But what is life without jihad

Striving onwards towards the light

Away from the darkness

Away from the Snickers

To find true solitude but within the light

Unity with heart and soul

Reckoning that this is right for me

Yet bicker on and on if devastation shall be

In this everlasting cycle of Chaos

For insanity is here, near, and dear

Part of me

So let it be even within this insanity

Life of deeds

Strive on words

Finally let it be

Running 4 hope

Running on the stairway

Not knowing where to go

Head for the stairs to the bottom

For the darkness heeds the heart

It shifts and turns, the blade sways unto every being

To find emptiness, broken

Am I disappearing?

What will become of me

Looking towards the Noor

Up the stairs

Running for bliss

I breathing clearly

As high as I come

The Lord calls me

My soul draws near

Almost to the top

Striving, determined, and wanting something more

We are but slaves to Allah

Seek to please him

What is this noor

Everlasting bliss

That I shall not dismiss

I'm here being

As God says to Be

The Lord I reckon it's light

Meaning for all

Creation deserves to be saved

Saving yourself and then others

Never giving up

Running on the stairway

Knowing finally at the moment what to do

To strive for the Noor

To find serenity

Please bring this Bliss

For you and I

The Heart

My heart is beating within my chest

Going to the rhythm not knowing what to do

Stuck in this chaos

The cycle of insanity

And let us plea with the Lord indeed

To seek refuge in the Almighty

From The whispers of the Satan

In the cycle of Chaos

I strike on daring not to fret

The chaos in the heart

Ripped my soul to flesh

The Ecstasy of the Cloud 9

Stripped of humanity

Burden by destruction

To cut to save a life

To burn to stop to cut

To rip beyond the bend

Rock and roll

Here we are

On the chaos

A cycle for you

Within this chaotic humanity

For thy seek thy Lord

In times of destruction

Shall I seek the peace?

Bringing happiness at every desire

Not leaving happiness to The psychotic mania

Running on the railroad not knowing what to do

Perhaps happiness is not attainable

For the cycle of chaos has everlasting

To rip, cut, and burn

What will come next indeed

Will it be insanity

Or will it be a test for me

Seeking serenity

Wanting peace

Truly finding this

With the faith of the heart

Lose not hope

But lose the destruction of the heart

Let me breathe deeply

For the insanity that breeds within my heart indeed

I'm saved for myself from God almighty

For he is the one that will save you from the insanity

So please plea with the Lord 

For me save your soul one way or another

Remember keep the peace within the heart

And the insanity at bay

Don't forget to plea

Even within this insanity

con 2 the fusion

Getting the bubble is about to burst

Screaming so insanely

Pulled to the edge

Sanding mourning but for this to end

Looking at the edge

Wanting to take a leap

Feeling sunken 

Like an old ship

Young but old

Will I wake ever

From this illusion

It's this reality

The shade falls to my heart

Suffocating they light

Darkness shall reign

Creeping emtional damage

Broken beyond the bend

Here I am

Standing tall

For Allah will save me from myself

For Islam is the best of the medication you could take

Allah the most forgiving the most loving

He is the greatest of all

Allahu Akbar

Am I free

Finally from these shackles they lock my light away

I recite so slightly

The confusion

It conquers my mind

But still thy Lord

Always

I am broken aspired to rebuild

From the strength you have given me

Alhamdulillah 

We be free

To choose

Are you ready?

I know I am

defeated?

I may be broken but I am not defeated

Fact being I'm far from broken

I am constantly rebuilding

For everyone has struggle in life

For one has not walked in another shoes for not to judge that person for they do not know

Wise words for one who said so

If only one before they judges

Remembers the wise words of those before us

That we all have strife in life

That we all struggle

And to some point we will succeed

Even in our broken chaotic state

We are not deemed for disaster

Even if the disaster has come to a phase of mania that deems it Bliss

With this Bliss be enough to consume you

To bring your heart strong

To rise to one another shoulders

To build to rise to need to help

It's better to constantly build yourself

So that you may pay it forward

Make that what matters a fact

I am broken I am free to be flawed even within this chaos Deen

I am broken but I am not defeated

Losses

Where to go

Falling into the abyss

Failing to hope

Wanting nothing but the emptiness to control

Running on the fire

These coals burn my emotions so

To breath is but a burden

Wanting nothing but to end

As hope is lost

Unable to comprehend what hope can be

Thinking I could find it

Such a foolish move

Darkness sweeps in

Taking my soul

In these times

I Trek

Only to strive

To succeed

To want

To believe in Hope

Only time will tend

I am but a burden

To this world

Corruption to the core

The monster inside

Letting it go

Not wanting to stop

Wanting to feel but one emotion

Unfortunately

Hope still Wonders within my mind

That can be found with faith

So speak to your heart

To breath as God said be

So here I am

Being free to be me

For Chelsea

As the time

Bears witness

To a date

To ponder upon Time

To wander into the Galaxy skies

Devastation in the mind

Hopelessness narrows here

Here there everywhere

Upon this time

I hear a call

The Angels sing

Wanting nothing but peace

Peace of mind piece of soul

Pondering what will come in this night to be

Wondering what is wondrous indeed

To not give in to the darkness

To fight that darkness

To give yourself hope

For the light is knocking on your soul

Screaming to let it in

Will you open the door for it

Perhaps peace will find you then

Following the leader

Harden soul meets the end

Falling through them looking glass

Follow that white rabbit down that hole

To the most of the abyss

Falling, screaming until no end

My heart rhythmed to the beat

Empathy for all, but not for me

I want happiness but it never comes

Down and what not

What will become of me?

Wondering if this insanity is meant for me

Is this Destiny?

Let me breath, I'm suffocating from all the rapid emotions

Ready set go

Up up up to cloud 9

Blissful deeds

Energy for me

Smile once smile twice

Happiness is that what I need

To fight on

Too break the desire

Devouring disorder

Will it end?

Unthinkable

Let us ponder

Trials

Ready set go

Status within the illusion you see

Depends on what you want to be

Do you want to wallow within the wisps?

Or do you strive within the Deen?

Are you lost within your path

Holding on to something that may not be good for you

To puff puff pass

Allowing the illusion of happiness to be deemed by this

But truly this is not meant to be

As I stand here so

And kneeling and head to ground

To be within hope

Let us pray let us pray

It's not meant for God he does not need us 

We are the creation, made but from clay as Allah blew his breath in us

We are not perfect for perfectionism is for Allah only

But we strive to do good to do the best of deeds The Good deeds to allow those angels to write down so soundly what you do each day

To remember that those scribes will come to you on judgment Day

Have some taqwa

Within God you see

There is truly sanity

Life is but a test in some struggle more than most

But Allah said be so here we are as we are.

Struggling on to the hopes of humanity in this materialistic world

I'll let you in on a secret happiness is not found in the materialistic things

With Allah indeed within the Ummah

We do our supplication to him all day everyday and we don't forget the rememberance of him in his names

99 of them knowing so far

The beneficial

The just

The loving

The merciful

The gracious

So why not follow Allah for within the books there is distortation because humanity has changed so

To their desires you see

You cannot pick and choose what God has deemed for you What is lawful, and unlawful

But here I am pondering so will this really work it didn't before

But then again I have changed who I am

I have not seen beyond reality in a while

At least Islam brings hope for the future

Hating on one another is not the deen

One another should build each other up

Do not forget the world and other Muslims who are not human

For we are the caretakers of this Earth

So remember without this world we would not be

And that thought itself is insanity

Maybe the end times are near so to say

But have hope

And never stop praying

Bring the piece to heart

Allahu you're the only one for me

For I'm not afraid to stand alone

And the trials are yet to begin

As I tried to stop the smoke from penetrating me

But here I am still being 

Stuck in the chaos once again

But that little light is still a shining inside

Do not forget and always speak truth

So unknown

 I am not well

Here I am 

More insane as the moment goes by

At last I'm alone, but fear not for Allah is here

Remeber one who suffers most has betterment in jannah

What if you were like me?

Never wanting heaven nor reward

I do my good deeds reguardless of the reward God gives

Afterall we strive and if not for Allah, then who?

Self will not get you far, as many from the rooms say so

So what if it was built, the 12 steps by christians

Ever read the 12 traditions, niether race, creed, religion, nor politics

Why must we all break eachother down?

WE are meant to stride for the earth

After all we are the care givers, as Allah said so

For he created us so, from the clay of the earth

We are one with the earth, so why not care for her

She is one of the bringgers of life, water which is most of the human body

Soil for the greens to grow, to flourish with the glory of Allah 

Putting stars, universes galaxies together

The wonders of humanity

Perhaps they strive to find the unknown

Why not God?

We find him when we hit rock bottom

For he is the high power, so many seek

With his merifcifulness we will find hope

Follow the knowledge

Read

Find truth

Leave the hate at home, away from your heart

Allah will comfort you, save you and love you more than your mother

Thank you Allah

Unknown as we are, we know 99 names

Their are so many more, I'm sure

Remeber we offer salat, not for Allah he does not need us

For self, to conquer your nafs

Have hope

That is With Allah

Here

Here again

Broken

Ripped to peices

Can I comprehend

This Bliss, shall I dismiss

Within the Shadow

Burns thee, Insanity beyond the brink

Coping once again

Thou hast cast this upon thee

Shall I see

Those patterns for me

Second guess, is it shayton?

I seek refuge in Allah, from shayton

In the name of God

The beneficial, The merciful

Shall this deemed for me

A time of death, ripping thy roots

I scream hear thee

Whisk of the sounding

I breath, stuck with the Insanity

Rage flows with me

I can't stop, carnage there

Wanting nothing but to devour

Heart and Soul

I'm left with thee who indeed

But Allah

Seemed for me, qadar written in the footsteps

Of a shepherd step

Finding God

Not losing Hope

Here right now

Ready to let the chaos in

This happens to be my fate

Even within the light

There will be forever darkness

Where

 So where, somewhere

Floating along a uncertain path

Where to go, do you know?

Seeking the deeds, but crumbling inside

The soul is deemed, and the patience is running out

Dare I say I am no longer hoping

Some say do there

Others say do that

Don't you understand

This is life, soon to run out of medication

Not because I am bad,  because I'm superwomen healing so great

To devolop keloid scars

You know what, the art and ink upon my flesh

Is not vanity, I am covering the darkness

I don't self harm through ink

There thats said, another to spend

Upon this destiniy, do I do breath, not striving

Never hoping, I fear the most of those i love I would hurt

Its twists and turns with carnage there

Get ready for the insanity the chaos to be

Can I do what I want, thats strive for Allah

So much holds me back

Bitterness with life and qadar

What help me, Slipping into the old ways

Who cares?

Not me

Others do, but I can no longer hope

Breaking not rebuilding

When will this end, what will be?

Serenity

 Brighten this

Wondering upon thy deen

Am I stuck within

Insanity breaking the bend

walking into the sunnah

once and always wanting

striving as we all do

Strive for Allah, to please

To strive for him alone

Allahu Allahu Allah

Shall I savor, what is in this bliss

A sweet, homing wanting craveing

Surrendering

For peace, reckon this is what life is

Be content with what you have

Alhamduillah

We all struggle, its our jihad

Please dont forget your dua

I know I have, still I strive against the whispers

My heart can be still, but Allah gives it breath, life, hope

Allahu I am not afraid 

I stand upon my destiny want nothing for it happen

I pray Hope Need and fall

Not knowing what to do

keep on searching

3ilm will find you

have an open mind

Don't forget to strive better self, to care for humanity as we live 

Breath protect this green earth

We are the care takers as Allah has proclaimed we be

Start acting like one

With subbitmitting

Surrendering

God grant me serenity

To give me Hope

And allow me kindness

It shall reap

Upon the living, all the breaths are affectec by thee Allah indeed

It is Dealt

 Where do we be

Wandering upon a tale to tell

Wondering what comes with this 

Shall it be ease or chaos?

Pittering, pattering, round the bout

Here standing here, what will come

Shall the emotions shake ones being like no other

Some cower hidden they have become

Standing here, on the edge

Ready set go

Jack be nibble, Jack be quick

Here I am, stareing at the shining light

What is this, blinded by hope

Want and surfing into destiny

It is a hand dealt to many

Hard ship on the bend

Ready the bout, standing tall

To build, to construct, and to be free

Is this not what humanity is?

We be the dealers of hope

Building one up so they can reply of anouther saint or two

To lead in example

Ready good deed, near and bare.

This is what leads the light

A hope for us all

So gather, dont fret

Have some hope

We will build together

ameen

Where to go?

Here but there and everywhere

To strive, to jump, spread you wings

To decide with glee, what is next for me

Follow me, on this path for serenity

It must be...

Perhaps a time to deem

What is right for thee

Strive, follow me

Up the stairs

Follow me

down the stairs

Follow me, up and down

Walking striding on the bend

Want nothing more 

To get better

Where to go

Up Up Up

Follow me

This is cloud 9

Hope and Love

Love self, before anyone else

Take the small deeds, dont forget about the deeds for self

We must remeber time that were here

Once trivial to the time in day, the past reckoning on thee

Present day time one to be

Wondering ever so much

Wandering into destiniy

Pondering the future, not to far away

Will this be right, to strive for the better?

Sun soaked bliss, with the cold stern day

The wind she whispers

Roaring sharply and coldly

Having nothing but sure serenity

The sun rises ever so much

Days and nights pass

So here we are

One day at a time

Ready for me

Here we come 

Get ready

Finally I am free

From the chains of self hate

Wanting nothing but to have hope

So with this hope of love

Is present with me

I shall surrender

Nothin will stop thee

Keep the Peace

What was once there is not here
captured by the darkness, and let the hurt begin
they whisper and it devastates me
beyond what is this reality
As the mind sees
Stuck within the dust
Suffocating on the smoke
He snickers
Is this right I ponder upon time
Is this is whats meant to be
To ready the blade
To quote the flame
Why must I be here within the chaos deemed for you and I
Let it be said I shall walk in the shadows
Never knowing what peace is

To seek bliss
Shall this reap thy heart
Thump Thump
My heart rate is up
Unfortunate to gather this state of serenity
must I conquer this desire
To be tarnished beyond repair

There is something that may conquer the war

Tainted beyond repair

Who are we but the tarnished
A sinner in a world full of sin
One might be able to conquer him the Godhead
Who shall this be deemed to set me free
A light comprehended beyond what is right
And this light is for me surely for you
I reckon this us mighty to set me free

I fall to my knees to accept you to set me free
Is this right
I am but engraved in falsehood
What I think is true is beyond reality
I scream only to be heard by the snicker and he is there always
Am I burdened?
So am I never gonna win
Why fight the fright
Shall never give up
That's my will and surely my life
That I give to thy lord to take
To guide me through recovery of the heart
Lord to kingdom do I  come
Am I worthwhile?

Lord of the light
Conquer the darkness
That reaps reason
Lord you are the warmth of heart and soul
Destined for me and those who are deemed for you
All of the tarnished ever so...