Set My Soul Free

watch me move to this music
roll on by as the emotions flow
up up to cloud nine
roll on by emotions ever flowing
where am i ?
am I lost?
no no not lost but on this beat
up up to reside in heaven
not yet dead
not yet alive
beating beating
hear the music
it makes me feel so nice
up up to cloud nine
where the emotions are at peace
I dance
moving to the beat

Friends are here
Connected we are
letting the music move within us
up up to the dance floor
I move with you
close i am
emotions flow
smile on this beat
im moving onwards
dare to inspire

flash flash
slide slide
keep on moving
letting the emotions flow
I am not on railroad to disaster
but on a train to the beat
strum goes the volin
hear the melody

stretch to the beat
im insane
take the meds
causing me to be at balance
not so on a railroad wreck

funk pop move
to the up up beat
i dont know where to go
so i keep on moving
as the emotions flow
running from them
but i hear the music and im at peace
to takes me away
from the hate
from the darkness
bring light and happiness
im happy and finally free to be me
watch me roll

on on on
on this beat
dance to the music

SET MY SOUL FREE

Do not Dismay

boring night but i do not dismay
as I ponder up to the sky does heaven reside
does the spirit reside it you be him a spirit of holiness
that calls upon you to do rightous and good
As i read the the word and the word knows me
I ponder day and night as the insomnia sinks in
sanity is but a glimpse in this reality
AS the Holy spirit this man these emotions work in me
I strive to live and live to be
strike me in thy heart and soul that i may not dismiss what is right
That God understand me and works in me to spread his word to those around me
As my deeds are good for the glory of God
I call upon the father to accept me for me
I open thy heart to my saviour and Lord as i understand him
To save me from myself for as i said it
am my worse enemy
as the worse enemy of me is the snickers of that old devil
he conseals the truth from me
but I am in thy Light of the Lord
For the Father the Son and the Holy Spirit are all in one
I understand only as the holy spirit shows their emotions to me
I feel his person move in me and with the living water finding life to me from the Lord
That Lord sent his Grace upon his when the Holy Spirit went into Mary and she Conceived Jesus
That he was fully man but not give up his divinity
Always having the spirit of the holiness within him
You must allow this holy spirit to work within you
pureifying you
He works in you
I will admit that i try to deny him the spirit as i dwell in sins
But let the spirit move into me and make me pure aloowing living water to give me life
As like i am in eden the garden trying from the stream that feed the tree of life
That i have everlasting life with the Lord and savior Jesus Christ
I do not deny no longer that I am christian
So work in me holy spirit
in me for now and ever more until i arise on the day of judgement before the father
SO hear the voice of the lord if you may as I did in my confession to my savior as i understood him
say i am full of sin if you may you do not know me as God does
I knowth the Lord God the Father Jesus the Son and the Holy Spirit
though this golden hope resides with me
Glory Glory do not dismay
Bless me from thy lord
in his name
Amen

Glimpse

Feeling low again the void of emptiness fill my heart at the moment as I want to take my blades from the forbidden place and destroy
Yet there is glimpse of hope as I reach out to others to the Lord
Still lost  be a wanderer
Shall I walk in the valley of lost souls or in the guided field of dreams
Only time will tell
Until then carry on wanderer

Emotions unbearable without God

Suffocation at the max
Don't know why I feel so isolated
I'm here at a place of worship
My Lord is the light that saves me yet tears penetrate my heart
Making in dark
Can I fight the darkness?
Or rather let in sink in to tarnish the heart

Seek refuge from satan to the Lord Jesus Christ
Don't fight but conquer
I had a glimpse of that golden hope
Now retreat to my solitude
Where the voices echo within thy mind
They are here to torment me
Take me away from thy Lord
What is left to do?

Not self harm
No never again
Maybe they are right
Maybe I'm worthless
But if that's the case why does God bless me
Making the path lighter brighter golden light hope

Tears are overflowing my eyes burn as each drop swells and drips down my face
Sorrow has been here today
Why must feel so sad
Why must I cry
Why oh Lord why went you save me from the worst from myself
I am my worse enemy

God gave me life and hope and fellowship but here sitting here at a peaceful place with friends of new source
I am learning gaining knowledge and new faith not only in self but in thy Lord and savior

Even when hopelessness seems to linger in my soul
Light came a knockin
Hold on to your hope for your sanity is near it
Don't lose self in your battle against the Snickers of that old devil
He wants you to lose he puts doubt in your heart
I don't have doubts in my faith just self that I cannot fight the darkness anymore

Shall I bunker down
Release the emotions
Let people see the real me
Or keep the walls up so the devil and even God stays at bay.
Don't I beg you
Let God in

Let that golden hope surround your soul spirit and heart
I seek refuge in God from the acursed Satan
Oh my Lord and saviour Jesus Christ
Save me
Save me from my self
For I am the worse for myself

Let us pray
Jesus I call upon you to bring that light hope to me
You died for me for us all
So then I will serve you
Only now do I hope to conquer the devil and I will
God willing
In Jesus name
Amen

Hope: golden light

I'm lost
Fear is in my grasp
My heart shakes from the aniexty
It hurts like a knife to the chest
My heart rate jumps and races to finish line
Feeling like I'm lost
Fear of being hurt
If not being accepted
From isolating the rainbow that I am
Will this be the case
Well I lose myself
Change
I used to fear it
But changing for betterment is good

I used to fear him
Oh what blessed community I have met
They opened not their arms but hearts
They like me have compassion
Who taught this a man no a son perhaps
He has a name don't be afraid to admit it

I accepted him in my heart
I say his name name often
I try to better myself for him to please him

Oh lord and savior
Jesus Christ
Lord you put me in the hospital room with my new found friend.
With my open-minded willingness, his kind heart that he learned
But from who you say but Lord Jesus Christ king of kings.
There was no judgment six days ago when I opened my mind to you thy Lord

Let us pray for one another that the ones who don't call to the king of kings Jesus Christ the father and the holy spirit. The golden trinity is calling for you lost one.

I was but lost but a loser
Now that I'm growing with God
Dare build my confidence and say winner.
I am in this light and glorious warm and everlasting
I'll hold my hand out to you my right hand holds to Jesus's hand
My grasp to him will hold me tight
My other hand I extend to my friends my family
I will help you the best way I can whenever possible
I will it but have purpose now
To show the world the love of the Lord
"For God loved the world, he sent his only begotten son."

Let us pray once again
Lord
I call upon you
To lift me up to cloud 9
Up to where heaven may reside
I don't need to cut to self harm to release anymore
For you where here for
Jesus Lord
Save me from myself
Bless those around me
Bless me
Keep me golden
Please
In your name
Amen

Hold onto your hope, perhaps it will transform into golden light of true hope.
I leave this with you
I'm getting better for the will of the glorious Lord and savior wants me to strive to live
So I will
Live
Hope for today so tomorrow a new day will remain...

Within solitude

Medication take it, swallow it until the darkness no longer breaches your heart.

Today I skipped doses, self sabotage to the max.
I cannot see myself living past the age of thirty one.
Turbulence and thy mind brings me to my solitude.
Where am I? but lost within my mind
Unable to comprehend hope at this moment.
A friend like me who this disorder, is isolating
Where another friend has guilt that doesn't belong with them
I am lost for words...

So I ponder if I wonder up up to the sky to cloud 9
Writing my feeling to Pen to paper but words that I type not on your writer but on the wire.
Society is a sell out
To technology giving ever whim to their desires
If I was to give in sure I would be dead
Not knocking on heaven's door
But deep down into the ground awaiting for the reaper to reap thy soul
For that devil conceals my soul
Unable to break free

I'm speechless as I tremble
I live for today so tomorrow doesn't fade
My emotions are unbalanced as my medication was needed
I'm on rail road to disaster
Up down all around
My eyes swell with tears unable to fill the void
Emptiness lingers...

Here I am
In my solitude
Unable to see the light for darkness has consumed
Am I as horrible as I think
Or am I just suffering from my misfortunes of my disorder
Unable to comprehend my hope at this time
I am not hopeless
Help self help other people
Be selfless and humble

Work towards getting better
Take the light and swallow it
Fight the darkness
Don't just fight but conquer.

Let hope consume self
So we can live for tomorrow so hope doesn't fade.
Just keep on breathing
Clean air
Breath just deep breaths

Don't give up
Don't worry
And don't forget to smile
It can go a long way
From the heart to the soul