Payback

is this payback for what i did
But i was unstable
and what he did to me
he tortured my mind with love and then bashed me in and said lies to me
so i ended it with him
but i always found myself going back to comfort of his arms his voice his artificial love
oh Ismail will you forgive me for what i did to you
Please move on
this curse you have put upon me is so hurtful

I find myself wallowing in the darkness as tears flood around me
She said she wasn't ready for a relationship or dating
but reality it was me
she just didn't want to have one with me
because i found her again where was so lucky to contact her before
Fuck her
I don't her love
And she cant have my love

Love its important to share with your companions
I love myself and my family and friends
But i wanted a lover a girlfriend a wife a soul mate

i guess that was to hard to ask for
so back to chopping block
tears overpowered by hate

I hate myself at times i think
its myself and me and i
that is the problem
my demons inside
what more can i do
I take my cocktail of meds
to balance me out
to numb some emotions that over bearable
I go to see councillors
I take about my issues that bother me
so i don't go back to the old ways

at least I'm not alone
the jokes on you moon child
there are billions of star children to keep each other company
cant kick me down

I will always remember your light moon child as i basked in it often
perhaps ill find another moon child....
only time will tell