Victory and Peace

I close my eyes
only to have my mind wander
into the nights sky
the universe is near the mind
for it can expand

I hate my mind at times
I tend to lose my mind at most times
as my doctor makes rash choices
he doesn't understand that I fear the darkness the most
emptiness lingers there shadows of the mind

I open my eyes for the tears are swelled up
dripping down my face
my glasses are fogged up
and I can barely see
my body, you think I would hate myself so
for the scars
I have hurt myself so much
that was the old me
I know how to overcome the emptiness
even if I'm lost within the midst of my mind
I'm still free
I'm beautiful
I smile
Its a kindness

Go to the mirror everyday and smile
say to your self I love you
I'm worth it
because if I'm worth it
so is anyone else who suffers from mental health issues
I want to be Solid like a Rock in the Ocean of Stars

The current can sweep you up
as every emotion run through your veins
I feel so different today
after all
new cocktail of meds
I can't cry anymore
I am trying
I want to give up
But
I wont
because I'm stronger than that
I was victim
then a survivor
now truly a warrior

So Warrior
With you battle scars
grab you war paint
prepare your self
for the emptiness
the flood
of emotions
I shudder as goosebumps cover me head to toe

Now I must conquer my emotions
that is my struggle truly
my war paint is ready on my skin
I close my eyes with ease

Now catch a breathe in my sleep
deep breathes
nightmares haunt me but I'm a warrior
nightmares turn to dreams making the mind lighter
My mind is so out control with emotion that I feel unbalanced
I grew claws like were beast
the beast inside us all
slash go the claws at the monster inside me
holding onto my emotions to make them so unbalanced

I can hope these monsters has fled the scene for the beast inside of me is free
to protect me and my mind
my battle shows my scars
as this been happening for many years
but finally I'm free to be me
and more importantly
Love self
Love me
be at balance
and to harness the emotions so the tears don't burn the skin so harshly

I lacked in supports in the past
I was but a wall flower
but now I have the supports I need to conquer all
nothing will get me down
not even myself
I'm for once happy for my victory
Victory and Peace