Confliction of the heart

Where do I go from here
I sit upon the screen
Pondering what will become of me
So I write and write to you thy Lord
Will you guide me from the darkness
I'm trying hard to not give me to it
Cutting is the major diaster of my life
Smoking that good ole herb
Is past time to me
I struggle with my addiction to both
So I write to you
What will become of me
If I open my heart to you
Put my soul to you
Making it lighter
But conflict arises
Confliction in the heart
You made me this way
Gay as I can be
Proud of who I am
Even with the badges on my arms
Heart on my sleeve
People love to take advantage of my good heart
And I let that happen within my insanity
Lord aid me in this fight
Please
I beg you
Let me be ruler of my insanity
That turns to clarity
Heart that high up to cloud nine
With out the high of drugs
Without a cut to my soft skin
Lord let this prayer
Dare to inspire
Anyone who suffers from above
In your name I pray
Amen