Got life

Where am I
But on the path to serenity
If so why is the chaos in the heart Rock's my world
Chained down to this Earth
Unable to conquer the heart
No longer on cloud nine
Addiction runs through my veins
My mind can't expand
I'm stuck
Standing at the edge of reality
Wanting but a taste of insanity
But I got tempted by serenity
She bonds my heart
What to do from here
But to walk
Got to crawl before you can walk
Running and tripping trying to gain balance
My addiction runs ruin to my heart
It's like Poison
It runs a little bit of confusion
Irrational I am
Wanting to make the right choices
Shall I revert to the old ways
Picking up the blade
Severing my veins
Precious skin
So tarnished
Wear my badges on my arm
So you can see the real me
You can't hurt me
I beat you to it
This is the true addiction
Cut burn devour my soul
So called path of serenity
Please
Am I on the cycle of chaos
Wanting only to be
Imagining that serenity
Has penetrating my soul
Only too tricked by the old devil
He Snickers because I fell for it
Chaos is his
I beg God to save me from my insanity
Nothing left but to walk the Walk as I talk the talk
Here I am pouring spilling my blood
For nothing but temporary satisfaction
What is there left to do
Insane in the membrane
But at least I'm clean from some of the addiction
Clean as I can be
One day two day three four
Keep counting
I'm nearly dead
I saw the light
In my heart
Thump thump thump thump
Roll to the rhythm
Here I am
Perfect as I can be
Even with my insanity
Look to the bright side
God blesses me
Because I'm still here
And I'm clean
And free to be
Just be