Lost in Ilm

A blast from the past
This feeling of hope
Prefer in the heart
Bringing clarity
My heart yearns for it
So many years
If trying to forget
Only to lighten the heart
As I recite
Not enough dedication to care
I'm not free
I'm not happy
I'm loved
But don't love myself
How is this possible
Only as my mind wanders do
Those Snickers come stronger
Whispers in the heart
Glimmers in the light of color
Destructive me
I know truth
I know haq
I know what resides in my heart
I'm wrapping my arms around me
As I fall to the ground forsaken me
Unable to comprehend
I'm lost but not yet dead
On the path to ilm
Always