Path found

Here I am wondering

What will be?

Sway with me

As I flow

As the river that be's

Emotions run through me

Destined that be

Chaos that deemed

Let's see

Upon this insanity

Nothing but a dream to be

To find serenity

Dreaming truly a dillusion

Psychotic episode

Chaos comes with me

I am the storm

The maniac wanting something more

Hoping for freedom

Wanting nothing but to find

Hope is what's needed

Shall it be?

Destined for me

Seems to be

Destruction of a disaster

Explosion of nafs

What I want?

What I do?

It's up to me

So I truly need

To find the Peace

What light is meant?

The Noor in heart

Calls you

To the truth

Let it be

To seek the knowledge

To need the peace

Redeem yourself

Call upon the Lord

Allah Almighty

The greatest

Finding hope

Will save myself

So I seek Allah

Always

Even in the dank darkness

There be a flicker of hope

That will save me

Truly let's see

What will come indeed

To strive on

 Where to go from here

Lost in the abyss, trying to dismiss 

These emotions run through me rapidly 

Rapidly turning

As the corner comes to a sharp turn

As the darkness sleeps in to consume

Upon this time

Shall I ready the flame?

Shall I prepare myself for disaster?

Walking on the path of destruction

A 50/50 on life

Not knowing what to do but to strive only

To be content beyond the bend

To follow the light

Away from the darkness

Those Snickers follow you

And the visions come ever flowing

Will my sanity ever come?

Wondering upon this time

Well I simply be

Within this destiny

That's meant for thyself

With destruction in my heart

Wearing it on my sleeve

Pin cushion heart

Stick all the emotions inside me as they burn

Tears stripping down my skin

Unable to comprehend

What to do indeed

Perhaps I shall recite

Something that is needed

To seek refuge in the Lord the Almighty

So please let it be

From destruction to noor 

Upon this time to come

The not so far away future 

Will I survive? 

Upon this time to come

Destined to be stuck in destruction

To be content with disaster

To be humble within self

To strive always

Try not to give up

For I am strong

So perhaps you are too

Having something

It runs through my

That losing of Hope

Having it one second

Losing grasp once again

Disappointed in the outcome

Of the dillusion

Comprehend what compassion is

Having hope within the heart is but a goal

Wanting something more

Ever so more

Now let's care

Shall we stare

Blankly at our nafs

Cleansing life

Let me be

Free of in insanity

So let me breathe so deeply

Do soundly

May my heart be right in the mighty light

Bringing peace

Wanting serenity

Will I get

Someday inshallah

Wanting something more

What will it be?

So unknown

Will this be what hope seems?

Bismillah

Let me breathe so soundly

The Heart

My heart is beating within my chest

Going to the rhythm not knowing what to do

Stuck in this chaos

The cycle of insanity

And let us plea with the Lord indeed

To seek refuge in the Almighty

From The whispers of the Satan

In the cycle of Chaos

I strike on daring not to fret

The chaos in the heart

Ripped my soul to flesh

The Ecstasy of the Cloud 9

Stripped of humanity

Burden by destruction

To cut to save a life

To burn to stop to cut

To rip beyond the bend

Rock and roll

Here we are

On the chaos

A cycle for you

Within this chaotic humanity

For thy seek thy Lord

In times of destruction

Shall I seek the peace?

Bringing happiness at every desire

Not leaving happiness to The psychotic mania

Running on the railroad not knowing what to do

Perhaps happiness is not attainable

For the cycle of chaos has everlasting

To rip, cut, and burn

What will come next indeed

Will it be insanity

Or will it be a test for me

Seeking serenity

Wanting peace

Truly finding this

With the faith of the heart

Lose not hope

But lose the destruction of the heart

Let me breathe deeply

For the insanity that breeds within my heart indeed

I'm saved for myself from God almighty

For he is the one that will save you from the insanity

So please plea with the Lord 

For me save your soul one way or another

Remember keep the peace within the heart

And the insanity at bay

Don't forget to plea

Even within this insanity

Puffin on Cloud 9

Staring down the path

Where to go from here

At a crossroad way to a railroad

Where to ever go

Up up to Cloud 9

Smoked up get high

Fall into the chaos of the doom

With not knowing what to do

You inhale the Bliss and exhale the bad inhale the Bliss 

Up to Cloud 9 where but to the stairway to heaven

Ready to Blade

Touching the skin

Slice through like a knife to some butter

Legend of crimson darkness come out of your name

Unable to comprehend

Not knowing what to do

Seeking the high for the escape

Is this meant to be

In this world of insanity

So do I plead and plead and plead with the Lord indeed

To save me from myself for he is the only one that is saviour

To fall to the ground in the surrendering myself

To the wide opening world do I worship the Lord

Where to find myself stuck in the abyss

Will I be able to dismiss?

On the town on the phone what to do

Reaching out looking for some hope

Unfortunately everyone's tired of the despair

But life doesn't get better you just get a better understanding

For the library of time is 

What you experience in this world

Up the Cloud 9 not knowing what to do

Thinking on putting this world maybe that'll do

Am I a bad person because I hate myself

Am I a bad person because I'm horrible to myself

I'm crazy in my mind

Can't comprehend hope

So I escaped with the dragon puff puff go

Inhale exhale ready let's go

Here comes the hope of artificial happiness

What to find in this insane world indeed

Perhaps some Harmony is found with deeds

Remember the smallest of deeds are the best don't ever mind others of them

Be the rest of the world do not care

We do not live for humanity

But for God you see

For he created us and the universe indeed

Who are we to argue with him?

1 2 3 not knowing what to do

Stuck on Insanity happiness too

The artificial happiness is an illusion

Stuck within the delusion of the world

When will this pain and not knowing what to do

Perhaps my time will come sooner maybe too

con 2 the fusion

Getting the bubble is about to burst

Screaming so insanely

Pulled to the edge

Sanding mourning but for this to end

Looking at the edge

Wanting to take a leap

Feeling sunken 

Like an old ship

Young but old

Will I wake ever

From this illusion

It's this reality

The shade falls to my heart

Suffocating they light

Darkness shall reign

Creeping emtional damage

Broken beyond the bend

Here I am

Standing tall

For Allah will save me from myself

For Islam is the best of the medication you could take

Allah the most forgiving the most loving

He is the greatest of all

Allahu Akbar

Am I free

Finally from these shackles they lock my light away

I recite so slightly

The confusion

It conquers my mind

But still thy Lord

Always

I am broken aspired to rebuild

From the strength you have given me

Alhamdulillah 

We be free

To choose

Are you ready?

I know I am

To Seek

Searching everlasting searching

Pondering upon time within insanity

What will come from pondering?

Perhaps one would be wallowing in the abyss

Not knowing why

Screaming so silently

Why must I be?

Within this tarnish deeds

I find serenity

To plea with the Lord indeed

For he is the only one worthy of worship

Allah the Almighty

Lost within the darkness

Just a flicker of the Noor

Is enough to conquer

For light will always overcome the shade

To be in Redemption from being tarnished

Are you ready for me?

Where to go?

Nowhere

Simply be

With sabr that brings hope

So I still scream

But what Joy indeed

Even within this insanity

I simply am being

For Allah said be

So here I am being within the insanity

Practicing sabr an acquiring ilm

Beating within my every being

Allowing the emotions to not overcome me

To bring happiness indeed

That is what is needed

Where to find you say

Look to the Lord

For he is Almighty All Merciful

So let it be let it be

Destined to be within the insanity

Hoping for peace

Conquered

As the sun rises

I find myself conquered

But not in dismay

In Serenity's time

The hurt will fade away

Bringing something that has been lost

The hope to overcome the hopelessness

To stop the crimson from flowing

To stop those Snickers in the head

To seek refuge

To need peace

Where to find this indeed

Salah is needed

Allah does not need it he does not need anything 

He's absolute and all knowing

Prayer is for you

As It centers oneself

You feel the noor come in

Breathing so lightly

As one recite so briefly

It seems like seconds go by as you recite

Within the insanity blessed be

Confusion to the max not knowing what to do

I tried to center myself to Allah 

Do not lose my temper to not let the chaos bring destruction

For this is time of serenity

Blessed be in this insanity

Confusion not knowing what to do

But by instinct I do

I Fall to my knees and prostrate 

To the Almighty

Allah I seek You Even in this confusion and abyss of delusion

I find myself with the serenity with you

Finding myself not knowing what to do

To reflect on society to reflect on self to reflect on their Deen

I am here conquering my nafs

And I seek refuge in God always

The Flicker of noor

Flickering within the soul

Is the Noor what one needs

As society turns turn humanity

Here comes a breeze, yes the nafs indeed

The desires mix and blend

One another breaking down

Unable we are to agree

But finally

We find the light

Where you say?

Don't worry it will be okay

Destined to breath

With life

That is from the one only

Allah the most beneficial the most merciful

How do we find Allah?

Quite simple

Find the Haq

Read

Seek

Find the truth

Don't forget

He watches always

But as your accept your qadar

You will brighten

For the best

So let you soul rest with Allah

That is serenity

Alhamdulillah 

Thanks to God

You let me breath

You love me

Even when I hate myself and everything

I find peace with Islam

Within this destiny

For you and them and I

Are brighter than the sun

For Islam is the light

So seek the truth

Open your heart

Be free of the doubts

Bring happiness

Smile don't forget

The demands

To the starting line

Upon this time

What demands of us?

What do we need?

Will these things bring serenity?

Ask these questions when we are corrupted

Within our destined desire

We find that we are no match for "He"

Who is this the most supreme the most merciful Allah indeed

Bang was the race on the go

Starting off at a steady flow

As the hurdles begin to come

Somebody struggling to jump over them

But those who matter most are those who strive

Who fall to the ground but get back up

The ones who do not give up

Running to the end 

Wanting nothing but desires to fade

Wanting no happiness no Love no hate nothing

I want to be an empty inside 

 I don't want to feel anymore

Will this ever end as I'm running to the finish line what to do indeed

Shall I reach out to thy Lord and ask for his Mercy

But I find myself bickering with him instead

I Fall to my knees as I almost reached the finish line and what do you do

But solely be

Even in this Insanity that wrecks me

Blessed be this time indeed

For the sanity is here

At the finish line indeed

If you have Sabr

Then perhaps you will overcome what is here

In all that you had in life do we know what it means to be

Perhaps I know what this means

For we are but slaves to our desires but in reality

We are but a slave to Allah

So even in this chaotic deen I have

I still find serenity within me

As I surrender putting my head to the ground and worshiping Allah

Do not give up

Do not hate

Love God

Love self

Love others

We should go by this everyday

Counting my pennies up today

Not knowing if I have enough currency to beat the dismay

Running on a railroad not knowing what to do

Up and down all around all the merry go round and go

Merry go around try a roller coaster up and down all around

The mind goes rapidly not knowing what to do

So once again I Fall to my knees and worship the one and only

The most merciful the most gracious

He who see's the unknown

That is Allah

The one and only

So save me from myself so I may find serenity within this Deen

Blessed be even though the insanity is here blessed be lovely indeed

what to do

We start the day at dawn

Calling you to pray are the song birds awaking 

For they pray with you

So follow the way

We start with Bismillah before we rise

To start the day, smile inside and out

Life is a test

We strive

So start out the door

Shining so brightly

For Allah is with you

You are never alone

For Allah is with you

Don't be afraid of the unknown

Don't fret, want to know

Say the shahada (Arabic)

What makes this world go around

Kindness and good deeds

Let them overcome the bad deeds

You will feel better inshallah

We reap at what we presented

Represent the way

That is Islam

We strive always for Allah

To please him

Watch your actions

They be recorded bad on the left

On the right is the good

Those angel's will present this book to Allah 

On judgement day

So repent

For Allah loves you

Fear him we do

For he is Almighty

Allah. Allah

Make me strong

So I will conquer the darkness

To let the Noor in

To do good deeds

To present our actions

We learn from example

Follow the waaaay

In this Deen

With the Peace

Of this life

Let me tell you the way

Of happiness and serenity

Welcome this hope

Yes meant for humanity

Oh let us see

Beyond the darkness of the unclean world

For bad deeds seem to pile more than good

Fret not, there is a way

Repent your see

To who

But

The Almighty the Allah you know him

He has been with you

Even in the bleakest night

Here is there with you and I

You may fear him

To be expected for he is the one and only Creator you see

That is Allah

Destined for humanity

We be here, seeking purpose

It's up to us

To better our selves

Working hard in this dunya

We strive to please

Not self the corrupted creation

Do not stray far, you may lose your way

Follow the Deen

Be with the ummah

We love you

You need Allah

We are his servants

We are but slaves to him

Allah be with me always

To say dawah is better by actions

Open your eyes

Live you life

For Allah

Blessed be

Following the way with Islam

The only way

Here I am

Beating heart

Wanting to find serenity, is this is meant to be

I must surrender

To seek refuge in Allah the Almighty

Blessed be within the insanity

Will I ever be free of the tarnished soul

I want to strive to please Allah the one and only

Never leave me

Increase my eman inshallah

Does this mean with this destiny that I'm meant to Breath deep breaths

To seek refuge from the chaos

That burdens me so

I walk destructive ways

Waking up with insanity

Blessed be I am me

A full creation of Allah

Thank you for to This chance 

Blessed be within this Deen

Follow the way

Islam the only way

streams

Streams of sorrow come to be

Within destiny there is what sadness

Is happiness an illusion indeed

Pondering so suddenly

Upon the edge perhaps so

Over the moon to the sun fledged soul

To overcome the darkness

To reach out for help

To scream if you need to

You are free

Free in this world to suffer indeed

As chaos ruins the world

Happiness falls from the true deeds

Perhaps I show speak to thy Lord

I don't see a point so there's no relief

And life is just a test that fulfill you for the afterlife

Posed to someone who doesn't want to live

To fight all your life to struggle to lose to win

To be content with what you are

As insanity and confusion flow through me

The darkness sweeps in and takes away the Noor

Is it but a flicker within the darkness

Or has it been blown out

Allahu allim

We ponder upon the world you see

As some of us are stuck with strife

Carve your destiny into your soul

To let it all out as the blood flows

Is this the way or is this the illusion

What can we tell what reality is

Is life and happiness but an illusion

Hope is far from here

A disaster to be

Chaos and rage indeed

I seek refuge in the Lord from their cursed Satan

As I plea and plea for all my life you see

I guess this is my destiny

But shouldn't I have the right to know what I want to do

To live or die

Insanity is surely a dangerous path

Only time will tell

what you need to find

I wanted to find the source of Truth

So I explored the world outside, within the mind you see

You can find knowledge anywhere

You just have to open your heart

And your mind you see

May you find the truth

There's only one indeed

That is Islam itself

Allah said be so here we are being in this world of chaos

So seek the deen the way indeed

Sometimes you will tumble and fall to your knees

Wondering if there's a God indeed

I was going to sleep not to long ago searching ever so

I find my life within darkness you see from time to time and then again

Because within my religion we teach that life is but a test

And if there was no struggle no Jihad in this test

Wouldn't be much one of the test at all

We strive we learn we seek knowledge

Have you tried to read the Quran with an open heart

Leaving judgment set side you will see the truth

I was but a pagan before

Then I read the Quran

And within each page that went through Reading and searching for the truth

I found that there was only one God and that was Allah indeed

So hope for the best and seeking knowledge always

I'm wandering to the sky that be's

I dare you to look into Islam you see

For it's truly peace for the heart  indeed

So why not check it out for yourself

The true science of a holy book

But to remember the Time when it was revealed

So you caste your judgment according so

And have peace

Surrendering to one God

Wanting nothing more to strive to please to be

Even within this darkness of the world

You will find noor in your heart

Once you find Allah you see

Peace will come indeed

But to be a Muslim you must follow the Quran solely and then the Hadith So...

If you get mixed up with all your questions you see

Go to the source of the one who follows Allah you see

And there you'll find some good old Dawah

For speaking truth is a Muslims deed

To witness our message to bring peace to other people

Do not fret stay calm and rememberance Allah always

Trials

Ready set go

Status within the illusion you see

Depends on what you want to be

Do you want to wallow within the wisps?

Or do you strive within the Deen?

Are you lost within your path

Holding on to something that may not be good for you

To puff puff pass

Allowing the illusion of happiness to be deemed by this

But truly this is not meant to be

As I stand here so

And kneeling and head to ground

To be within hope

Let us pray let us pray

It's not meant for God he does not need us 

We are the creation, made but from clay as Allah blew his breath in us

We are not perfect for perfectionism is for Allah only

But we strive to do good to do the best of deeds The Good deeds to allow those angels to write down so soundly what you do each day

To remember that those scribes will come to you on judgment Day

Have some taqwa

Within God you see

There is truly sanity

Life is but a test in some struggle more than most

But Allah said be so here we are as we are.

Struggling on to the hopes of humanity in this materialistic world

I'll let you in on a secret happiness is not found in the materialistic things

With Allah indeed within the Ummah

We do our supplication to him all day everyday and we don't forget the rememberance of him in his names

99 of them knowing so far

The beneficial

The just

The loving

The merciful

The gracious

So why not follow Allah for within the books there is distortation because humanity has changed so

To their desires you see

You cannot pick and choose what God has deemed for you What is lawful, and unlawful

But here I am pondering so will this really work it didn't before

But then again I have changed who I am

I have not seen beyond reality in a while

At least Islam brings hope for the future

Hating on one another is not the deen

One another should build each other up

Do not forget the world and other Muslims who are not human

For we are the caretakers of this Earth

So remember without this world we would not be

And that thought itself is insanity

Maybe the end times are near so to say

But have hope

And never stop praying

Bring the piece to heart

Allahu you're the only one for me

For I'm not afraid to stand alone

And the trials are yet to begin

As I tried to stop the smoke from penetrating me

But here I am still being 

Stuck in the chaos once again

But that little light is still a shining inside

Do not forget and always speak truth

what we want and need

What does it mean to have mindfulness and a God-consciousness and piety indeed

We really need this you see within our Deen

To acquire eman on demand

To be obedient to one and only Allah you see

Most Muslims you see have this indeed

As it is a structure for the mind you see

Taqwa right for thee

To have the right consciousness to God to know to need

To fear but love also for it is needed in piety

Piety is not just by our clothing, but by our deeds

Our actions you see

It has a much deeper understanding within Islam, because not one word means one thing, but it could be many things

Let us breathe and be mindful of the situation we need

To bring oneness with your heart

Allah fearing abundance 

Allah for he is Almighty 

You see this is not a dream come to be

It is a foundation within our eman

It is needed to structure so

Everyone does Haram, but one who does more that doesn't repent 

Is in a worse of mood in the afterlife

For those angels on left and right

Write down those deeds, you do the good with the right

To keep piety that's needed within the deeds

I do with Allah indeed

To round my spirit and humble thee

To keep yourself full of noor

To allow the abundance of God-fearing to surround you

And with this you will feel a lightly thing of piety

As it raised within your eman you see

This is what destiny is for us the Muslims indeed

To not forget this is needed to avoid the Haram and follow the halal

Don't be fooled by the desires those nafs indeed

The materialistic things of this world that people think they need

I know for a fact because of the Quran

The final message to man indeed

To not follow such quality as greed hatred

Emendity towards a fellow human and pride in many such things and it hurts a believer

Where taqwa is indeed

This can hurt you more than you see

It can lead down to a destruction and emptiness that be's

Rememberance of what this means taqwa indeed

Remember where you are at every sight you see, every emotion that be's

At times we will feel so lonely, but remember Dua, Dhkr, and Salah indeed It brightens the mood and makes you whole indeed

To remember this time we find on this world you see is, but a test that is meant for humanity

So let us remember Allah indeed

What he showed the prophet Muhammad SAW 

What was revealed to him is what we need

Not to be distorted beyond the bend

Even when alone remember taqwa

The God-fearing abundance indeed in Almighty piety

To have consciousness with this indeed

We know what we need

Will we seek it

To strengthen us indeed

Upon a path within insanity if I can find such this way

So can another within a world full of fools

To be fearful

To have love

To show our worthiness

For Allah you see

It's meant for us all within our hearts

This is the best the shahada 

To center self to be mindful

This will help you conquer taqwa

Practicing steadily within the deen

This is meant for you and I 

For Islam is peace indeed

Done

I am wondering on this world of My reality

To not be able to see outside the box

I feel as though I'm trapped within the darkness

Pulling through the chaos over and over again

Wanting it to eventually end

Finding that hopelessness is at the end

Far nor bear

Do we know?

Truly not for that is not our place

I want to find solitude within myself

I want to be content with being ill

There is so many things I want but it seems unattainable

As sharks move within the sands of the sea

Will it ever be beyond insanity?

Well I ever believe in Hope of that reality?

Never quite sure, wanting much more

But feeling so scarred and tarnished so

And the Carnage is with me so listen please

I am not worthy

For what I do and see

I am different from the rest of you

I feel that energy around and I can take it as thy own

As it negatively affects me

Will I ever be at peace?

Well I know the virtues of peace?

In this time of my life you see

Or will it be granted to me on judgment Day just a glimpse of peace and Hope

Is enough for me

As tears rip through me

Unable to cope

I reckon I should just do Dua

Even that seems to be stopped by the insanity that be's in the mind that can't control reality

I want to believe in me that I am possible to overcome the insanity

But as the days roll on by and the months begin to begin to years

To worsen as you age

To have your psychiatrist ask you what he should do

What is the point really in this world anymore?

I don't care, I'm done

Next time it comes I will not fight 

For I am defeated

I do not know if I should relay my light to my deity Allahu you see

I want to please him so solely

But I'm drifting from the light

I just want to keep on going until there's nothing left 

The Carnage will not be subdued

For the devour is here

Never fear, it's something dear

Within thyself I feel

Corrupted within my will

Let it be let it be even with the insanity

As I scribe and ponder so wonderfully

Will this be the end soon to come?

To pass on the courage to another

To raise awareness of this curse

There is no cure for what I have

I'm running out of answers

I don't want to have that courage for that day

When I make that promise I made so many years ago 

I just can't let it go

I seek refuge in a love from the accursed Satan

I testify that there is no God but Allah and that Muhammad is the slave  and messenger of Allah

I cannot deny what truth is

Soon I will lose the war

I'm tired of fighting

So let's just calmly go with the insanity

Here

Here again

Broken

Ripped to peices

Can I comprehend

This Bliss, shall I dismiss

Within the Shadow

Burns thee, Insanity beyond the brink

Coping once again

Thou hast cast this upon thee

Shall I see

Those patterns for me

Second guess, is it shayton?

I seek refuge in Allah, from shayton

In the name of God

The beneficial, The merciful

Shall this deemed for me

A time of death, ripping thy roots

I scream hear thee

Whisk of the sounding

I breath, stuck with the Insanity

Rage flows with me

I can't stop, carnage there

Wanting nothing but to devour

Heart and Soul

I'm left with thee who indeed

But Allah

Seemed for me, qadar written in the footsteps

Of a shepherd step

Finding God

Not losing Hope

Here right now

Ready to let the chaos in

This happens to be my fate

Even within the light

There will be forever darkness

Stars far from thee

 daring to glide into the comso 

beyond nothing but knowing there isnt yet hope 

that we find ourselves longing wanting to know the unknown and we find that only one has that

 here we be our minds and galaxies that be are haunting me having nothing but a fit scrambled beyond repair 

yes I dare to come here wanting needing earning beating into the heart

dare this be what needed so inshallah

 we be right upon the deen in this dunya

 so do dkhr dua and salat and hope will be near