done

Running scared not knowing where to go

You want to find peace but all you find is destruction

Your longing for peace but all you find is solitude

With the bitterness it takes you away from the light

I want to help myself but sometimes I can't do it alone

No one is on my side I'm all alone

To find peace forever more

Only to have the rage consuming ever so

Finding your way to home again only to bring a horror with you

She said she broke it you broke it you broke it don't you see

Of course I see

Just because I'm blinded by The rage don't hate me

Carnage is here and the desire to hate

I'm hitting self is better than hating most

Has each year drips down burning my skin

I'm falling into the darkness

Not a rope or a latter for me

I guess this is what is willed for me

So I will let this be and be

tired

I feel so tired

Why must I fight on

Is the world meant to just suffer

Shall loneliness consume my heart

The darkness surely is here

To ready the blade and give into the Carnage

Desire to do deadly deeds

Ready for me

I whisper here a whispered there

A pattern here a pattern there

Life is better than illusion of the mind to see

Is this within reality

Can I see beyond the haze

Is it worth it

Is he right

Life is so silently as those around you disappear

Has Insanity crashed your heart and soul

I am left in nothingness

Emptiness has consumed my heart

I am finally done

No more hope for me

Maybe I'll be free

Probably unlikely

let's hope

Where to fall

At the bottom of a pit

Priceless as it seems

Down in the dumps

The key is honesty

Indeed this is peril to the heart

I'm sincerity to self

Remember to admit to our faults

And shall we bow our heads in shame

And others will rejoice and claim that it's it's Joy and name it's the day

Dare to say nay indeed

To find patience within the heart

For the mind to see clearly

Beyond The mist above the haze

I shall we be named

For we are the children of Adam

And our religion since time began with Allah

That is Islam

To find someone sincere in the heart is those who repent

And to not repent over and over as the same deadly deed was done

But to reflect and follow the Sunnah indeed

To allow the graciousness of God flow into the heart and have a sincerity

Only then will you feel peace and kindness enter your heart

To remember the prophet said that a smile is a kindness and a good deed and what is it a good deed but the best of deeds are the Small deeds

Perhaps I shall see what is beyond this box that concludes me

And I practice patience even know I'm riled in my mind

But I am sincere and honest and truthful and I seek those that are right

We all have hardship in life we all struggle that is part of life itself

Don't take it to heart

That you will live forever

This life on this Earth is but limited

Fear what is after

When those angels on the shoulders show the written scrolls

Of one deed to deed bad deed show I need

Repentance is needed

Indeed it is breeded

Help me so oh God indeed I repented to thee

Is this suffice enough for me

I am stuck indeed

In the chaos of the mind that sees

Too hard on self too easy on others

To not let the rage take control

To follow patience

Indeed let us pray falling to her knees and doing a Salah indeed not once but twice indeed a prayer that is needed for you not for God

No man as I'm slave over another man we are but slaves to God alone

So let us pray

To open the heart to light

This is what is needed to keep the soul light

So make a dua

For those in need

A kindness indeed is a guide indeed that is what is needed in this time that be's

So hope with me

A chance

Where to go from here?

As I walk this unknown path that was once known to me

It will be hard at first as All things are

Remember you are never alone

For Allah is on your side

Don't fret, strive on

Is this meant to be within reality?

As the signs are see to look beyond what is deemed

To always ready sell for unknown

For everyone to be on your side, is this what we strive for?

As the sun rises and it surely sets as time is a man thing

Time itself is limitless it is all going on going

I m   want nothing but to feel at peace

So I strive and seek knowledge

To build one other up

After all we are the caretakers of this planet

The world is vast wide like a carpet as it unrolls

Do not take this into a simple-minded thing

Does your mind bend to reality?

I see as far as I can see beyond this reality and what is Deemed for me and truly do

I see indeed

To strive as ukhti

Let it be let it be even in this insanity

Is this what reality is?

All I can say is alhamduillah

Thank you Allah for me

To bring Islam into my heart all those years ago

It truly saves me from time to time

To reflect honestly

To be stuck in the delusion of the mind

A fool and but a world full of fool

Sanity is needed here there and everywhere

Be on time to see is this what reality means for me

To recognize right from wrong

Do not let the desires ruin the taste in your mouth

And do not become bitter with your God

For he is all knowing and all loving and all merciful and deserves all worship none worthy but Allah

As the time is ruptured

I'd lose myself in the insanity

It's not clear to me where I am

The delusions run my mind and I'm far from me

And the hatred consumes my heart and I become dead inside

Well I ever be free of this insanity

Perhaps this is what just is written for me in the pre-ordainment that's Deemed for us all

Recognize these

Assalamualaikum

Peace be upon to you

Don't forget to reply

Or that left Angel

Be busy as a bee

Don't forget when you arrive in front of God on judgment Day

Those angels from the left and the right will be there with you

And God will see what is deemed that he deemed for you

The Free Will that he gave you

Do we use it to please you

Do we use it to please self

If we must please anyone then please please Allah

For he is the creator and without him you would not be

I'm stuck in the delusion does your mind see

Moving in and out turning my back on sanity

Many look and see what's theme for me and they see that I don't cover my awrah

It does not make me less than you or me I'm still being

I know what is a beligatory I don't need a reminder

We all have our own struggles in society in our heart does it see what is deemed for thee

So I fall to the ground to my knees begging Allah indeed

To put my head to the ground and pray so soundly

This is not for him but for us

To become closer to God

So remember just be honest to self because if you're honest then at least you have a chance

something dear

Starting fights, where to go

Flee the near

Very far from a dear

I look into the mirror, a stranger stares straight back me

You self deny who you remember

You have changed, soon to come

The lack of understanding

Help me not, nothing it seems

Stuck in this chaos

Yes it deemed

To find serenity and loose it so

Up and down

I gave up

So a zap here, a zap there

4 more times, something happens

Dreading anyone think

Drop dead for 15 

Yes it seems

Since then I'm not me

My mind you see

No one understands me

There is no help

Just meant for me

Far off in the past

There was me

Now I'm not

Losing self

Wanting what was lost

Here

I

Am

Fading away, what is next?

Anew

Here I surrender

Upton time and time again

My path withers only to seed

To grow anew

Alhamduillah

Staying each day

With fajr

Living self so one can understand

To desire to want more than basic feelings

The balance can be found in many ways

Alhamduillah

Where do we stand, on the edge

Wandering so slightly more

As the time moves along

We but are bounded by our nafs

Worry not for Allah is by your side

Allahu akbar

Alhamduillah

Finding life in this dense world

Lost in emotions, busting at the brim

Not all walk through the sand

Some do through the coals

Hurting the heart more and more

Making something hard bitter

Not so sweet, what will help

Maybe dua, inshallah

Forget not the dkhr

Remembrance of Allah

Alhamduillah

End the day

Going for another peaceful day

In Islam...

help

Help me

Chaos is here

Never letting go

As the light disappears

Sure food and beer are allowed

But those who need the community

Are shunned

No ago

No ssa

No help for the mentally

I'm buried in my feelings, ready set go

On mania let it flow

Striking daring do I say

Beyond what we need

For help us so

Conquered in the chaos

Is this what deemed for me?

No help

Radio for the final breaths so I need

I can't stand the carnage

This leads to devourer

Don't let this desire go

Got to be in a cage, with the darkness within three light, for it will always coexist

We the people be deemed too

Hello with this

Going stray on the bend of books with the chaos

The eye of the storm

I don't want to give in

Unfortunately these be hard times