Lighting the way

On the bleak path, upon dismay

Care to stay, unable to breathe

So I scream, silently

Cuts so deeply, devouring desires

Shall this reap destruction?

I am me, free to be

Upon this insanity

Let me be

Chorus on the way, let one pray

Darkness reading the room

Waking in the day of night

In a deep cold sweat

Taking the flame to the torch

To light the way, following the Noor

Taking refuge within my serenity

Let me be, worshipping Allah

So be it, even when all are against me

Even myself

I strive truly try

Wanting nothing but bliss

But only to dismiss

Am I worthy?

Upon tomorrow, another way

Path set ahead

Strive, do good

Illusion of the display

Let me pray, perhaps paying the price

To hope for today, so tomorrow doesn't fade away

So let us pray, for hope

To light the way

Sriving for uncertainty

Creating chaos at The rim

Unable to comprehend what worthwhile hope is

Am I valuable?

For I feel worthless

Stuck in the abyss

Wanting to dismiss

Despair reading its spear

To pierce the heart ever so

To devastate

To create chaos

Calculated chaos at the brim

Bursting at the seams not knowing what to do

I Fall to my knees calling to my Lord

Reckoning that the light will save me

Perhaps this is right indeed

The Noor is here

To follow the light

To know the light

To want the light

Wanting to strive on in this world of despair

Anxiety to the max, an old familiar feeling

Uncertainty that I will win

I strive on always

Stronger at every moment

Around the bend I go running from the darkness

Hoping for light to come

Finding that with my Lord indeed

For he is the light that I seek

Allah The Almighty

Blessed Be

From you to me

To bring serenity

To want happiness

To bring the peace

Stopping destruction

Wanting more

Striving on

Will this be it?

Here I am

Walking my path of destruction

But always striving for the Noor

Upon tomorrow to come

Rise each day blessing thy Lord

Bismillah to start

Alhamdulillah to end

What must I comprehend?

That be hope

Hoping for today 

So tomorrow doesn't fade

The haze is here

I am but lost, not no more

For the light shines on

Shining through the mist

Of my heart and soul

Shall I dismiss?

Perhaps time will tell

What the heart seeks

For the light is near and dear

For the darkness is familiar

So seek the light for you will find hope there in 

Midnight Ponder

What is right?

Perhaps this might be the guide

I feel a pull inside of me

Unable to comprehend if it's right

Instead the uncertainty sets

Causing doubts within eman

Wanting nothing more but to understand

Having confusion to the max

Unable to comprehend hope

Darkness is here and near

It's slumbers upon humanity

But God said Be and here we are being

I'll be walking the deen in this Dunya

This corrupt world

Darkness within the heart

Corruption within the soul

Is this right?

Perhaps this is what light truly is

What would light be if there was no darkness to counter?

I've fallen to the ground

Was this fall meant to be?

Confusion to the max

Fear of what is different

But is this right?

My soul yearns for what is right

Even in the muck of confusion

I can see what the truth is

Even in the darkness

There shall be the light knocking

Screaming to let in

For the heart has hardened

For all the self-hate

Within myself

So

Am I right to accept the light?

When darkness corrupts my soul

Here I am pondering upon insanity

Is this truly meant for me?

Walking destruction

Chaos as I go

Calculated chaos

I'm able to comprehend this

But I cannot comprehend what the light is

For my soul is tarnished

Broken Beyond Bend

Shattered Beyond limit

And I scream and I scream so silently

Why must I be this way?

In the everlasting fight

Up down all around insanity is here

For the motions are going

Over and over again

Will this be different this time?

Perhaps time will tell

Before it's too late

And I end it all

Where is this hope?

Where to find?

Twisted

Corrupt

Blissful

Loving

Rager

Empathy

So many statements

Labels ever so

I am but me

Within this insanity

I find that there is only one worthy of worship

That is Allah the almighty the most beneficial the most merciful

So seek him always

Always

For darkness shall always be overcome by the light

For Allah is that noor

So perhaps I should follow the way

Being pulled from every direction

Here I am pondering upon my soul

Midnight fun here we go

hope on happiness

Falling into the darkness

Standing at the wall of solitude

To Bear witness

That insanity is what deems me to be

Is this my jihad?

A true struggle

Needing something more

Running on the railroad

Wanting it all to end

To slip on sanity

To know what comes with doom

To reckon what is right

Perhaps it is in this light

But darkness fades into thy heart

Here I am wrecking my mind

Broken, tarnished and wrecked

Shall I dismiss the abyss

Does this mean that I'm lost indeed

Do I know what this means

I scream and scream

Reckoning with the Almighty

What is meant for me them and I

Are those whispers so deeply real?

Upon this time

Upon the light

Upon hope

To find Hope

To grasp it within all

Infinity everlasting love

Sought by all

Destruction is here

Shall it be pure

The pain, the tarnish and the doom

What will become of me?

Within what is deemed

Chaotic of the heart

A blade to the skin

Repeating one on one

What does this mean to be

Broken Beyond perhaps I can redeem

For sanity is needed

To acquire this hope

To keep your grasp

Shall I seek thy Lord

For him to conquer the darkness within my heart

Seeking refuge with Allah from the acursed Satan

Let this happiness be

Afraid not of what is come to be

Can I be free to want happiness

For maybe the illusion of the heart

For this is my delusion

That happiness is attainable

For the delusion is of the mind madness conquers all

Breaking my soul open to the Lord

To save me from myself

To let me accept

What the true light is

One can only hope

Bicker

What am I?

Am I defeated?

Broken beyond the bend

Seeking solitude of the heart

For the emotions are overbearing

As they sway in and out of the heart

Devastating every motion

Defeated?

Perhaps not

For the light inside is knocking

Knocking on the darkness

Breaking its way through

For light will prevail

For it seeks the solitude to save you

Defeated I think not

Striving onwards always

When broken beyond the bend 

I am but rebuilding

Seeking the Noor

Treading through the darkness

Never giving in

Struggling to prevail

But what is life without jihad

Striving onwards towards the light

Away from the darkness

Away from the Snickers

To find true solitude but within the light

Unity with heart and soul

Reckoning that this is right for me

Yet bicker on and on if devastation shall be

In this everlasting cycle of Chaos

For insanity is here, near, and dear

Part of me

So let it be even within this insanity

Life of deeds

Strive on words

Finally let it be

Running 4 hope

Running on the stairway

Not knowing where to go

Head for the stairs to the bottom

For the darkness heeds the heart

It shifts and turns, the blade sways unto every being

To find emptiness, broken

Am I disappearing?

What will become of me

Looking towards the Noor

Up the stairs

Running for bliss

I breathing clearly

As high as I come

The Lord calls me

My soul draws near

Almost to the top

Striving, determined, and wanting something more

We are but slaves to Allah

Seek to please him

What is this noor

Everlasting bliss

That I shall not dismiss

I'm here being

As God says to Be

The Lord I reckon it's light

Meaning for all

Creation deserves to be saved

Saving yourself and then others

Never giving up

Running on the stairway

Knowing finally at the moment what to do

To strive for the Noor

To find serenity

Please bring this Bliss

For you and I

con 2 the fusion

Getting the bubble is about to burst

Screaming so insanely

Pulled to the edge

Sanding mourning but for this to end

Looking at the edge

Wanting to take a leap

Feeling sunken 

Like an old ship

Young but old

Will I wake ever

From this illusion

It's this reality

The shade falls to my heart

Suffocating they light

Darkness shall reign

Creeping emtional damage

Broken beyond the bend

Here I am

Standing tall

For Allah will save me from myself

For Islam is the best of the medication you could take

Allah the most forgiving the most loving

He is the greatest of all

Allahu Akbar

Am I free

Finally from these shackles they lock my light away

I recite so slightly

The confusion

It conquers my mind

But still thy Lord

Always

I am broken aspired to rebuild

From the strength you have given me

Alhamdulillah 

We be free

To choose

Are you ready?

I know I am

The Flicker of noor

Flickering within the soul

Is the Noor what one needs

As society turns turn humanity

Here comes a breeze, yes the nafs indeed

The desires mix and blend

One another breaking down

Unable we are to agree

But finally

We find the light

Where you say?

Don't worry it will be okay

Destined to breath

With life

That is from the one only

Allah the most beneficial the most merciful

How do we find Allah?

Quite simple

Find the Haq

Read

Seek

Find the truth

Don't forget

He watches always

But as your accept your qadar

You will brighten

For the best

So let you soul rest with Allah

That is serenity

Alhamdulillah 

Thanks to God

You let me breath

You love me

Even when I hate myself and everything

I find peace with Islam

Within this destiny

For you and them and I

Are brighter than the sun

For Islam is the light

So seek the truth

Open your heart

Be free of the doubts

Bring happiness

Smile don't forget

Striving for Noor

Following this path into the abyss of the forest in the mist

Only to come to a conclusion where the heart resides

Where to find that Noor?

Why do I demand such things to be gone?

Burden so by society I am

I followed the floor

The carpet laid out for me

I follow the path into the night

To arise at dawn ready for the day

To raise my hands and say

Allahu Akbar

Shall I be this way?

Stuck within Bliss

I shall dismiss this darkness that resides

Allowing the light inside

Here I am pondering

Upon time to come soon

Will there ever be an end to all this disaster?

Only time will tell for that to be

So recognize these

Love those who need

Help humanity

Guide one another to the Noor

Upon this day that's risen

I shall call upon my prayer

Let there be peace within my heart

I shall find serenity within this indeed

Ready for a deed

Ready to begin

Ready to start again

Onwards to strive on

help

Help me

Chaos is here

Never letting go

As the light disappears

Sure food and beer are allowed

But those who need the community

Are shunned

No ago

No ssa

No help for the mentally

I'm buried in my feelings, ready set go

On mania let it flow

Striking daring do I say

Beyond what we need

For help us so

Conquered in the chaos

Is this what deemed for me?

No help

Radio for the final breaths so I need

I can't stand the carnage

This leads to devourer

Don't let this desire go

Got to be in a cage, with the darkness within three light, for it will always coexist

We the people be deemed too

Hello with this

Going stray on the bend of books with the chaos

The eye of the storm

I don't want to give in

Unfortunately these be hard times

MemBrain

Crazy in the membrane
Can i comprehend
What is here
Now above the mist
Shall I take thee leap
Of destiny
Near and Dear
I'm left
Sipping on bliss
Sucking in the chaos
What shall be dismissed
I feel queasy in here
Bout to explode
Am I right?
Beyond what seems
This must be insanity
Here I am
Reckless
Beyond what is right
Crazy on the outside
Wanting nothing more than serenity...

Whats next?

To conquer the darkness
So I can adjust
What will be destined for me
Beyond this reality
Illusions can be a must
To Take me beyond my deeds
To What is desired

A place of serenity
Where the worries of anxiety disappear
Fears of all kinds never fear
We be sipping on bliss
Not Letting the chaos in
For this is serenity

Just for moment

Then back to insanity
Where Fear rules my every being

I still smile
For I am free to BE

Sanity

Where am I?
Lost upon time
Perhaps it's time to ponder
Is this right?
My steps upon the sands of the hourglass
Beckon that the light is right
What shall I do?
What am I?
Shall I loosen my grip
On this reality to be
Out of the insanity
To the Bliss
Do not dismiss
For it's attainable
Work hard
Have I
I'm here aren't I
Shall the reaper
Take my soul
I feel empty
Beyond what is right
Bliss is here
Beyond my reach
Darkness
Light
The ultimate fight
For my soul tonight
Shall the devil
Enter my spirit
To cut
To burn
To destroy
To devour
This is what feels right
What is right
They is the light
Allah
God he is right
Upon this night
To bring dua
I scream
Beyond what is here
To ponder
To wonder
And once again wander

Rerun

To run
To be free
Is this my destiny?
I am here standing
Ready to take the leap
Is it for joy?

Here standing at the edge of the abyss

Ready for the fight
Instead I jump into flight
Run be free
Scream in the insanity
this must be
What is meant to be

I scream
For my cure
Deep breaths
To the thorax
to balance the Chi

I here this must be my fate
stuck in a rut
able to cope
But stuck within the flesh

Sunken within the midst of the abyss

I suffocate
What shall be?
Is this what destiny is?
Why must you forsaken me?

Will this be
what is meant to be
within this insanity
For Clarity
is meant to be

To be reborn
for the fate

As I drift within the footprints in the sand

Time is set
Time will tell
What is meant to be?
In this clarity!

On the way to Light

Basking in the light
I am here, near and dear
Where am I to start
To feel a sense of reborn
Within the light
Sunlight is near and dear
To bask in the glory of blistering stars
ever so lightly, dare i say inspire
My thoughts drift into the unknown
the abyss that's with the midst of insanity
Where to look from here
Am I meant to be?
Am I right. within this light?
That's sense to be within this insanity
Darkness follows me
Is within me
One can not be within light without a little darkness
Shes breaths within this unity
AM I me?
Within this light
I feel like part of me have had been drifted
Drifted in this light as what was before
The majority of that being was the darkness in the abyss
It was sickening
Hitting a rock bottom
Revive me
I'm here to be me
within this Light
I stair upon thee
This must be me
Ready for the lift
Into the abyss
so longer sunken
But full of Bliss
In the abyss
Unknown is what is next

Wrath

I sit here pondering to thee
Pondering within the insanity
That conquers the heart ever so
More than reality
Unable to hear the angel's call
I sink down to the depressive state of thy mind
An I in this reality
As whispers stop me
From being me
I'm stuck in the mist
Pondering upon the Stars
Is this reality I ask
Not to far
From my destiny
Within the chaos of the desire
I call out
For the wrath
To devistate me
To burn to tarnish
My soul is far from me
My spirit has left me
I don't feel as though I am me
I'm someone else
Far from me
Stuck in the insanity
Fear of the Unknown
Shall I walk the edge
Shall I follow them
As each one plummets
To fall into the abyss
What is left?
Rage slumbers
Only to quickly arise
To twist and turn what reality is
To ruin destiny
To make everyone leave
Lonely indeed
Loneliness surely causes havoc in the heart
I don't want to be
But here I am
Within this destiny
As the sun sets
Insanity arises
With the starry night
Do I reckon
What is right?
Within the light
Only time will tell
Until again
Another day within fake reality

Losing but wanting to live

Darkness has clouded my heart
Unable to cope
The rage goes on
What is the point?
What is wrong?
Am I in the right
In this night
Is it worth it
Are they right?
Can no one accept me
Tick tock tick tock
The hourglass of Life goes on
As the sand turns the tide
I'm lost within the rage
And with that the tears burn me ever so
And the voices burden me evermore
I'm downright gone
Into the abyss of darkness
Truly this night is not the night
Not tonight for light
Will darkness conquer my soul
Shroud the darkness Within
Give in they say
Am I worthless?
Shall I do the deed?
Within this insanity
I'm lost within the abyss of the mist
To fight the darkness or to conquer the heart
What is right?
In this night
Knock knock on hearts door
Blow the candle out
The darkness shrouding the light
Unable to cope
I write
I want the blade
I want the flame
I want deaths door
What is the point of no one can accept me for me
I'm within this insanity
Chaos is here
For this time in the abyss
Shall I set the list
Within the mist
Take the pill
To be calm and chill
To recognize
What is wrong
What is correct
To cope
To hope
To win the war

Beyond this abyss

Hopelessness lingers
Until the abyss
Is beyond the brim
Beyond repair
I stare
I'm there
Here to stay
As each dream turns from wonder to reality
I'm left pondering
With such fate
Will be able to bring the patterns of chaos to a halt
Until the times folds
I'm left pondering into the nights darkness
as insomnia burdens me
1am 2am 5am
I'm still here
Laying in my bed
Wandering into thy mind
upon time
I don't like these feelings
I'm barely me
stuck in this insanity
I ponder into the abyss
not loosing sight
for what right
Light
Hope
Peace
Serenity
this is for me
within my destiny
one can hope so anyways
until again

Upon this morning

Knock knock its 4am
Sitting on the bed
Breaths in and out
Until I'm dead
Unable to cope until death
Here I am
Pondering upon a wondrous time
Bring me to tears
Upon my fears
What will come
Until the End
Here I am being
This might be upon the end
I want to strive until I'm dead
Bring in the peace
Even within the darkness there is light
Its a knockin, on the hearts door.
Screaming let me in
Upon this day
I ponder
Bring in the hope
For the day
Uncertain what will bring the day
When I'm ready
I am here
To care for you
Before me
Because I'm free
Free to be
Even with this insanity
Insane in the membrane
I am here to stay
For now anyways

Conflicted

Something formilar
Not like anything else
Thane in the membrane
Will I be able to over come it
Darkness is here
Light is Knocking at the souls door
The devil opens
Curses
Telling light to piss off
This is his soul
Tarnished
Defeated
Devistated
Unable to cope
I resort
To the blade and flame
The course is uncertain
Where will I be
Only one thing sought
Peace of mind

Never give up

You shook me
With your words
They hit my heart so
Unable to comprehend the pain
Unable to dig through the trench
I feel shattered
What the hell
I want to be complete
There seems to be missing pieces
I pounder into my spirit
What is reality
I am unable to search
It shakes my every being
So I cut
I burn
In this insanity
It's not the best way
Not a good way
I hurt those around me
Unable to cope
The Foundation is cracked
I don't want to self harm
At this moment in the ward
I feel safe
But a million Emotions run though me
Like a current
The river the river what to do
Jump and swim with the current
Or drown in the abyss of emotions
They rip through me
Leaving the emptiness to be dealt with
I'm left in the darkness
Alone
Unable to cope
But light comes on by
Because even in the darkest night
The stars shines bright
Glory Glory
Save me from the insanity
Insane in the membrane
Don't fret
Light is a knockin
Hope is near by
Ready my skills
I am me
Reach out
Express
Write your heart out
Never give up