Change

do you realize that people can change
i admit im not perfect and some days i show more than inperfection
but just because i say i feel like cutting
doesnt mean i want to
i was reaching out
for comfort from a friend
what do i get but a backstab from them
shame on me for trusting someone online
shame on me for trusting myself
Change is needed
but something i cannot change
I cant change my spirit my soul
but the heart does change
Im getting better
i can feel it in myheart
this new relationship i have with my savior
is overflowing within my heart
maybe its the medication as well
for i feel more stable
its been for sure 2 months since i last self harmed
i want to keep it that way
because my savior didnt die for me for me to take out it on myself
he died for me
so i can worship him, love him, witness for him
ill get down to witnessing soon
just got to figure out my faith first
so that deviant wind wont make me bend in my faith
for that old dirty devil snickers as he breaths that breath of deviant wind
its from that fowl wind that causes my devaint streek
but im changeing
akhi
im changeing
i feel happier thanks to the grace of God
thanks to the help to my friend and sister ukhti
she set me straight not to trust the fools on the net
for it will hurt me more
but enough of that
i have changed
and i will changed more
so dont judge me
thats Abbas job
not yours
some people cant change
but thats not me
for i want to better myself
so i can be close to Jesus my Lord and Savior
so my friends who are reading
tend not to judge
because you may hurt a feeling or so
and cause a blade to slice
but that battle was won
and the war goes onwards
for God Jesus almighty in on my side
So i end this now
Shaytan you will not win
for God will conquer you
chain you down
weld you face
so you cannot snicker
cannot whisper
cannot lead your army
Oh God almighty grant this for its the betterment of mankind
but its only a request for God knows best
in Jesus name
Amen