Pleading

Where am I
I filled the folds of the Mist closing on me
I'm left here to wallow in my emotions
Unable to cope
I Fall to my knees pleading for God to save me
Instead I'm left with the shroud of emotion
But God works Within Me
every time I don't take the blade to my skin I overcome that devil that's deep inside my heart
Don't touch the flame to the skin
I want to fight but I feel that it's already conquered my heart
I don't know what to do anymore
I want to fight but I'm tired
I want to breathe deep breaths
But I'm suffocating choking on every emotion that runs through me
Rapid are these emotions
People think that I cut because I'm angry at myself
That's not the case it's because I feel rapid emotions and if I inflict pain then it's a controlled emotion
I have many badges on my arm
I wear my heart on my sleeve
This is my destiny
I don't know what to do
So I leave it in the hands of the Lord
And make Dua to him
Remember dua what is supplication to God
Prayer is giving light to God
He is the Conqueror
He is the champion
He is worthy of worship
And itself he is Lord
I prayed to thee
Even within this insanity
Shall I bring myself closer to God
First we need to throw away the blades
But I find myself holding on to them longer than I want too
Unable to shake these feelings I left in the abyss
What show comes of my soul my heart my every being
Mercy is needed
And with that you will find it with your lord Christ Jesus the one and only
So let's say
Jesus my Lord and Savior
Bring me closer to you and the father
Bless me with the Holy Spirit
Bring me closer to you and the spirit
Save me from the insanity
The anger is deep down inside
Unable to cope I cut
Please give me the strength to overcome this
maybe I'm just speaking to myself and not even a god
Bringing myself back to reality
In your name we pray
Amen