Even within insainty

Stand here in the Abyss
Holding into the blade that holds onto my heart so strongly
Unable to Cope for these rapid emotions that run through me in this insanity
Perhaps only time will tell if we wait for fate to overcome this
Because God doesn't give anything we cannot handle and there is cure for everything
Just because we haven't found it just doesn't mean its not there
God willing
I will show you all the badges on my arm like I'm not afraid to confess that I'm here and I'm free to be me even in this insanity
It ruptures my heart
Up in the sky so high i shine brightly on cloud nine
In this cloud its like heaven its nearly here
I fall down the stairs
No place for someone so tarnished as me

The blade that holds me tightly next to me
I hold tightly under my pillow
Only to hold to my wrist
I hold to my skin I want nothing but too devastate myself

Bring me closer bring it closer to the heart
I confess within my will
It doesn't change anything  used to help  but not it causes more tarnished more worthlessness and loneliness

I can be surrounded by everyone i know and be by everyone but that doesn't change that i Hate my self so harshly and love my self so lightly

I confess its hard to just BE

Help me in this insanity
So i call upon you oh God almighty
Save me from myself
Guide me to the narrowest straightest path
For the open door is wide and bountiful

We must strive in this life so we can overcome the challenges that we face
As the fate goes on till the end of our time
Until we are resurrected to meet our Lord to know our outcome in this eternal life of ours

I dropped my noose into the abyss
Climbing the stairs its not to far
Stairway to heaven well i go to the light or reside in this reality to keep on striving to keep on living to keep on being

I leave you with this
Oh Allah grant me serenity within my heart I confess that you the only one for me
In this insanity to bring on in Clarity on the path to Serenity So i confess once again you are the only God worthy to worshipped by me
I will worship even within this insanity
Ameen