Balance

Where am I
Am I lost in this abyss once again
Able to cope for this time
I feel balanced of such emotions
Perhaps the medications helping
Only time will tell
But remember pills are not skills
Set your feet down and remember
As you ponder upon the night sky
A galaxy of emotions of abride you
Here I am sitting
Wandering and pondering upon the sky
Searching for my heart and soul
Here I cope
I feel a balance
As the Stars set
Burning brightly soul
Don't let hope be a memory
Let it rise in your heart
Bring up close to the light
As it burns everbrite
Here I am standing
Wandering upon the night sky
I'm able to cope
For pills are not skills
And cope I will
By worrying every emotion down pen-to-paper
Don't forget to write your heart out
Peace

Keep the Faith

Where am I
Lost in the abyss
Falling down into the ground
As a million emotions run through me
Have I forgotten Serenity
God gather me up
Save me from myself
Why am I burdened so
I feel as though gone not yet dead
But lost once again in the mist of the abyss
unable to cope
I reach out
and feel as though I'm rejected so
I cannot control my fate
So I leave to the all father
I struggle
I'm down but not dead
Will I be reborn
I ponder upon the nights sky
in this insomnia world
another night gone
morning here
up and adams
Time to start the day
With a smile
not just on the outside
but within thy mind
Turn that frown upside down
What will happen
As the mist rises
Things become more clear
is this Clarity
I think not
Never Safe
Never Sane
insanity is here and near to heart
I hear the beating of my heart rate
rapid as it can be
within the insanity
Shall I find bliss
within this new mist
Within another abyss
Shall I smile to go on another day
I live my life in solitude
for no one can accept me
I'm covered in scars
from head to toe
judge me so
Must I cut burn rip tear
keep this up
sure to be dead
unable to cope
So let us pray
Within him
We are free from the insanity
so keep the faith

having hope

Prairie Poet

To let the Crimson blood flow
Is that my destiny
Is it worthy to choose of this path
Up one way down another
These emotions are tiresome
They come and they go as a swift current into the Stream
Why must I beg for mercy from God
It seems to be an echo only meant for me
I Fall to my knees and I reckon it's me
I caused all this pain
Is it not fit that I feel it
What must I do next
Run to the old ways
Dare I say no
It's not meant to be
I feel it
The darkness The Emptiness the emotion
They say to fight the darkness and don't just fight but conquer the darkness.
I can't even conquer my own emotions
A prisoner Within These Walls
I bang on the walls as though they are nothing
But I built them up strong
Nothing can penetrate them not even me
Something that was meant to protect is now something
That bang
And another bang

Blood goes down my face
I'm near an end
Will just end my life for once
Will I live a life to wonder
I don't know what to do
I'm lost with in this fight

The light resides in the shadow
without the shadow of the light would not reside
So light shine bright
Overcome the darkness
Save me from it

All I am is lost for words
So this Mumble and jumbled
Hope light Darkness self harm self-love suicide reborn rebirth death life
So many things go through my mind

Have some hope

Prairie Poet

Tide

Tide Prairie Poet by Lindsey Lou
Where am I
Somewhere far too familiar
upon the edge
Ready to leap to death
Something pulls me  back
Something wanting more
Unbalanced are our moods
So they say
They Them
You know them well
Friends, Family, Loved Ones
Everyone who cares
There's this force that pulls inside
its uneasy like the tide
When I close my eyes and try to be mindful
Boy do I decay
As the storm is brewing
Round and around the emotions go
I find myself on this path of chaos
it's a cycle all too often
dare I break
Break the old ways
Conquer the darkness
Fight the good old fight
Only to have the battle another day another minute
What matters is now
What I want most
it's Clarity
Serenity
Happiness
Happiness is here near and dear
Often do I wonder
upon a starry sky
Is this the wonder I wanted
I strived so long
for it
Happiness
now that's it's here
Unknown is the future
Unknown is tomorrow
Plan and construct
Time will tell the tale

never

Never Ever
I wrote this warning I talk again about cutting I Lindsey Lou reflect on my writing as raw emotions that run through me.

Where Do I stand
Unable to conquer the fight
I'm here and yet I'm Broken
beyond repair
Dare I say
Unable to cope
until this time
I'm warped beyond repair
here I stand
Shattered to millions upon billions of pieces
Humpty dumpty
Roll me on up
Piece by piece
I'm here
near and dear
One thing that matters
is hope
Because
without it we are truly lost
but yet not beyond repair
that light flickers in darkness
as the cold wind tries to blow it out
it shines brightly
Where am I
But on the journey
Of building
Tidy up the mess
My mind
is in chaos
as havoc runs the place
one two three four
one medication two and three more
one cut
two cut
what will it take to STOP
I'm here and dear
not yet dead
writing my heart out
pen to paper
fingers to keyboard
I'm here
near
and dear
I'm here to bring good cheer
even if your down
remember that
to Conquer the darkness
never give in
even in the darkest night
there is light
so in the heart
I a Reckon
that the light shall reside
as that old devil tries to blow out the light
as its shines ever brightly
So Hope for tomorrow

So tomorrow doesn't fade

Thinking

Thinking
Poem on emotions
Just a thought on what I been thinking about lately
Here I am
Within the midst of happiness
Where am I but surrounded in a meadow of glitter and light
Here there is no need
for despair
Those that arise here are at peace
What Am I
As I fall to reality
here I am
Standing
Waiting for the chaos
Happy Sad Mad Lost Worried
All at once
up down all around
shake shake shake shake
I am sickened with worry
This stresses me
I'm so stressed
That my mind screams and causes tyranny
Why must this be
in this Insanity
Don't threaten me
Your wrong
I am Right
Here I am
As I scream against the insanity
as I fall to my knees
I sob within each small whisper
touches me
I'm Lost within my mind
Whispers turn to the voices
I'm left pondering into the night skies
Remember I'm me
yes indeed
within the insanity
Free to define who I am
I want to be at Peace
Instead the battle goes on
Win a battle here or there
but the War never ends
The consent struggle
Shall I forever be forsaken from society
Maybe this is what meant to be
It will not stop me from being me
Happy 
Sad
Mad
Worried
Fear defines our hearts
and true self shows it face
be ugly or...
You are Beautiful
Because I'm Beautiful 
I lat my head to rest
as I fall into serenity
close my eyes
to drift and dream
to escape reality
only to arise another day
Like a blank Canvas 
Blend your ink to the page
Write your heart out
Conquer the fight

your you are Right

happy depressed

Happy and Depressed
This is something I been thinking on the past few days I started a new medication been on for a few months and its finally helping, don't get me wrong i still get depressed but its manageable now
Where am I?
Wishing upon a star
On a starlight sky
Feeling too much is a wonder
What will this current outcome be
I fall to my knees begging the powers that be to cure from this insanity
I'm left alone to bargain with that old devil
He is here in the heart
Never wanting to let go
His claws deep into your soul
Never was there to help
I take my soul to be burden free
This insanity binds me
Happiness is here
and that old devil losses his grip
The medication finally helps
One Pill
I reckon
Its been a long war
but it's not yet done
I cut and burn
Soon will it consume my every being
Not if I stay on this current path
I got the skills
to conquer the pills
Means nothing to my skills
For real
Remember to be mindful enough to ground
I'm sitting here
Pondering
Wondering
Wandering
Steady my heart rate
For the devils
Let me be free
The Dank Darkness
Is gone for now
Happiness is here
Near and dear to the heart
Let the happiness consume the mind
Time will tell

Be patient...

manic panic

Manic Panic
My mind is on the railroad
Running to the end
Hurt me
Define me
Label me
So lost do I feel
Why must I feel this way
Does this Define me
This labels that be
Understand me not
Dare to Judge
Do not worry
I will not tread on you
What I am
That defines me
I am me
Within this insanity
Bottle me up
suppress
Its me
Understand me
What Am I
If I don't even understand myself
How can you know
Have you walked a mile in my shoes
You hurt me so
I'm Raw
It defines me
I feel lost
Within the midst
I thought I was on the mend
Now I'm clouded
Within the mind
Unable to cope
I resort to what worked before
No
Not right
Behavior not right
Happiness but a burden in return
For the Mania is dear and near
Pushed to the end
Mad Sad Happy Depressed Angry
I'm on a warpath
When will it end?
Until I close my eyes
A new day
Arises a desire to want
To Strive
To be alive
To live
To breath
To be me even within my destiny
Of the insanity

Here to Stay...

Fire within

Where am I
I'm lost in this abyss
The mania of controls my soul
On the war path of destruction
What will come from this

So much chaos in the heart

within the midst

do you define me

that lasts within me

I am me

even within the insanity

What will come

Even in the mist

of Reality

Do I define who I am

insane in the membrane

I reckon that within this bliss

of the insanity of thy mind

I'm lost

I'm done 

I'm right no wrong

Shall I take the last breath

Shall I go down the river

To let the crimson blood river flow

Nor is this right

But within this night

as the emotions become unbearable

beyond repair

I want to live

I want to breath

I want to be at peace

Instead chaos is here

unable to cope

I tread

I'm dead inside

The fire that be inside of me

BE me