I admit

Its hard to admit
but im scared
of what i will feel
I feel love in my heart
is this grace
I felt this way before
maybe a year so ago
I thought on the right path
Man i even quote myself that i believed in him
I was faithful
Then man ruined it for me

Shame on me
For turning my back on truth
closing my heart to him alone

I thought God hated me
truth is i hate myself
I used to anyways
people always look at me and shake their heads
because of my battle scars
whisper whisper goes the world
whisper whisper goes that old devil
he curses me
he curses man
all because of jealousy

Why
maybe i shall turn to God
Maybe God is Jesus
Maybe holy spirit is there as well

Doesnt the holy spirit make so we have grace
are able to consume the grace of God
God the father Abba
Jesus the son the Savior
Holy Spirit the grace

I could be wrong
I shall ponder upon it
Truly this is truth
I know now
my mind is clouded
But i still am me
Just me
And what did God want us to be
Being that i am
I maybe a sinner
but Sin maybe forgiven
May he forgive me for my actions
and protect from the whispers
my heart need protection

Iron clad of Gold shields me from that devil
His Grace protects my soul
His grace admits for to heaven
Though i just want to see my father
Thats the little girl inside of me says

Someday soon it shall come true
By his glory only
Oh Lord save me from myself
and my wicked deviant ways
Clear the path
upon the heart
lift the myst
from my path and with your grace
I shall obey
in his name
Ameen