Sunday, July 12, 2026

splendor perfection

Spring wonder 
Amazing bliss
Shall this be dismissed?
The Sun shines on the dime 
Wondering if it's too be
Full of uncertainty 
Let breathe
Wonders of the day
To conquer there solitude 
Splendor that the conqueror brings 
To be consumed by Bliss 
It shall not be dismissed 
Until the time comes 
When the sun arrives from the 
East 
To the Sun that brings the heat 
And what it brings. Wonder when it sets in the 
West glorious is the sky in the night 
The Moon shines bright 
To bring the tide in 
And out it goes 
Splendor indeed 
What shall it be 
The night that comes to see 
The speckling Stars 
Shining bright 
The spring is gone 
The summer has come 
The heat of the night 
Shall not dismiss 
The wind comes and brings Bliss 
The deer wanders 
Avoiding the carnivars 
The carnivores look and seek the meat that they need to survive 
This is how the circle of life goes 
And comes the summer and brings the Bliss 
Something I truly miss 
For God calls upon 
All the flowers of May 
The flowers of June 
The apples of the Fall 
The leaves that sway in the deep 
Gold and red and yellow 
Swaying in the wind 
Piling on the ground 
Sweeping up the Bliss 
Bringing in the cold 
Setting up for Burr the night 
The stars are here and there 
Winter is come here. We stare 
Winter winter when will you go 
The blanket of snow 
The shivers of the night 
Moving on as the wolf howls at the moon 
The blanket of night has come to bring doom 
Only a long slumber has the spring has been. It was slumber no longer come March 
And shall we be dismissed in this 
No for the seasons shall be Bliss 
What did I miss 
Glorious is God and all his wonder 
The seasons to come 
The nature that be 
This is what perfection is


Wednesday, July 8, 2026

just breathe

From the darkness that creeps
Is it from within? 
Will darkness take over the light
For the noor is fading
I feel lost, way past the bend
Far from the mend 
What will hit me next? 
Emptiness I rather have than overbearing emotions
My face is burning from the tears from other the years 
These crimson emotions costume
What will come of this?
I call out to my Lord
Will he save me? 
For I am tarnished, worthless, and unworthy of any love from him
To sink into the abyss
Will I finish dismissal to the darkness
Seeking the light
Calling to the Lord
To save me
Even though I'm worthless and unworthy
Can I save myself?
With these words that I scribe 
Bring me close
Oh Allah
Help me help myself
With writing the heart out
Feeling everything
But being empty 
What a feeling? 
Ok let's start 
1 breathe in 2 breathe out
Repeat until the darkness it dismissed 
To fall for you Lord
What am I? But tarnished 
To see the crimson 
To let it flow 
To write your heart out
Feeling uncertainty 
Help me be redeemed 
I call upon the light that is Allah
Complete noor
For the unworthy
Just let me breathe
These deep breaths
Just breathe
And be

chaos reaps

Why the burning
Pleading to the Lord
To save me from the destruction
Pitter tatter where to go?
They stare so plainly
They be not of good nor bad 
Let the emotions flow 
The crimson breeze 
I breath the chaos
I just need to be
Away from the destruction 
I am what I reap 
Yes you come here
The whispering shaking the soul
Golden light tries to break the darkness
Let the whispering disappear 
Calling to Lord, to save me from myself
I love sure love, not really not very much
Self love waivers as the chaos reaps
With Allah with me, will I break free? 
Will the insanity fail at acquiring hope
What is this?  What will this mean?
Stuck in this mood
Dare I speak, just be
Stuck in chaos 
I'm not afraid
The burning emotions roll down
My Mannequin face 
For if pitter pattern real
Hoping for crimson breeze 
But even failing at that
Leaving it all behind
Even if the shadows plea with the whispering 
Surely never free
Reaching out
Is this the last time? 
Break free

Friday, June 19, 2026

saving self

Screaming to save my life
What to do? 
Where to go?
Hurt here and there
Slice the blades go
What to bring? But devastation 
Should I let the monster go
As it seems my soul
You rip and tear 
Bringing durastrous deeds 
Can someone save me
Only I can save myself
Following the dragon no more
Suffocation to the climax 
Falling into the abyss
Sure let's go, chaos of the soul
The snickering voices 
Pitter pattern 
Come and go
Let's go
Bringing hope to all
Not just me
Saving my life
Save myself
In this devastation of a world 
Trying to break free
Failing always
Fighting always
Reserve my rights 
To decide what is needed 
To not let the darkness reside 
To let the noor in
Saving self
Ok let's go

helping saving

Help me and save me
Oh Allah the most beloved
Love the Lord, with all your might
Bring in the fight 
For your never alone
Even when your soul drops
Down to the darkness
When the hope weithers
Worry not for the light is not diminished 
For the noor never does
Not since love came into my heart
I yern for the most beloved and Almighty 
La illah il allah
Save me from the darkness within my soul
What should I do
My hope is with the Lord 
Worship one and only
To breathe deep breaths 
To center my soul
Beimg perhaps seeking something 
Will I hone to what I know
The Peace and Noor
Conquering my nafs
That divert me from it
Oh Allah guide me always
Even if one is tarnished 
Hope for today for tomorrow never comes

Monday, June 1, 2026

Old habits

Tap tap tap goes to start 
Trapped in the jukebox 
With a million songs around 
Unable to cope 
Going back to old habits 
Cutting up the world 
Chaos of the heart 
Wondering what to do 
If this is meant to be 
Stuck in the insanity 
Of the mind and the Sea 
The illusion of the heart 
The ocean of abyss 
The emptiness that consumes 
The loneliness that reaps 
Conquering this 
Wondering what to do 
Coping. Hoping loving needing 
Everything being 
A slip to the heart 
The pain that is 
Eternal in the heart 
A thousand needles 
Stuck into me
Labels that be 
Only time will tell 
To start again 
One more time 
In this abyss 
But I shall dismiss 
For the light is near 
Hoping so anyways

Tuesday, April 7, 2026

Sorrows come and go

Down streaming, the cloud's coming
Bringing the sorrow, upon the tears that drop
Burning so slightly, shall I do the deadly deed? 
The night is near but never great l fear 
The great power is near 
He hears all, knows all
The merciful the Lord
He calls me
The night coming to an end
Will this be possible 
To bend and not break
Losing my mind to the confusion 
Now break up, leave the bad deeds 
Finally I breathe those deep breaths 
My slumber comes to an end
For the call comes 
With dawn to start 
Have I been good
I wonder....
I offer my Salah to the Almighty
The Lord calls me
Stuck in the chaos of the mind
Will the reciting save me
I shall bend not breaking
Offer my my self
To you Lord of lords 
Help me break free
Shahadah 
There is no God but Allah and his messenger is Muhammed
Breaking free from najs
The days come and go
Running out of time
Will this end, bring peace
To overcome the nafs
Come and go
Bringing peace of mind
Allah always will guide me


Wednesday, February 4, 2026

Echo's

Lift my emotions up
Seeking cloud 9
Isn't it Divine to be in this time
Feeling the Echo's of anxiety 
Hold me close
Oh Allah the Almighty, the most Forgiving 
Feeding me to the wolves of the soul 
Ravished am I 
Hoping for something more
Surely spectacular 
Pitter pattern 
Chaos of the heart 
The beast breaking free
To rawr as emotions flood my every being 
Turning to the Lord
To wash away the sins
My mind can't expand more
I'm drowning in my nafs
Working hard for hell 
Seeking the light
Will I break free, is this destined for me
To truly be full of insanity 
Holding my breath
Hoping for life to consume
To seek the Almighty Allah 
In the times of need
But not only that
Alhamdulillah  for everything
Even the patterns 
Locking on
Let me breathe those breathes 
To save me from the chaos 
Seeking love, finding hate 
The never ending insanity vibes
It seeks me but I will break free I'm from the najs
Pleading with Allah
To save me from myself
Break free from the shackles that be
Just breathe, let's get ready
For a new day, bringing hope
For now anyways 
Seeking the Noor, consuming me
Hey let it be
Just be free
Seeking the good
Falling from time to time
Not broken but rebuilding 
Smile always
Alhamdulillah  

Friday, January 9, 2026

Letting me be

Broken stars in the nights sky
Shining once to blighty 
To fade into the abyss 
Does this dismiss 
What's to come, break
Unable to cope, pen to paper
Breaking insanity 
Can I breath
Suffocating on Bliss 
Days go by
Smile it's ok
Even when hate resides on my side
Breaking in this bend surely will this be on the mend
Smile softly 
Always watching the patterns glow
Will I ever be free
From this insanity 
Fighting kicking and streaming 
The tears roll 
Am I on the mend
Trying always to be here
Breaking stars across the vision 
What is real 
Pitter patterns let me bare 
Slightly better
As the words release me
Let me be

Tuesday, November 4, 2025

hello you

Hello illusion, I do not dare 
To decide what to do 
Pitter patter let's get at er
Rocking nothing but destruction 
Time will tell where to go 
Hello delusion, what shall you bring today 
Hey insane membrane 
Don't you tempt me to do 
The darkness that resides in my heart 
To do the deadly deed 
To rupture one's mind 
Leaving nothing but bruises by 
Breaking rebuilding breaking down 
Hitting the ground 
Hello illusion are you here been my will 
Currently wanting to live 
Is it worthwhile 
For the insane world at is
Why is it one? Medication is so much money 
That the medical will not even cover it 
So I'm here staring so blankly 
So bravely upon time to tell 
Hello delusion, what is it but happiness is the illusion of the delusion 
Artificial Bliss shall I dismiss 
To seek refuge in the Lord 
Granting me serenity 
Giving me the courage 
And the wisdom to know the difference 
But I'm here. Pondering 
What will come of this 
To seek your faith with the Lord 
To keep The whispers at Bay 
But those patterns here and there 
Is that what sanity is 
Unable to hold on tight 
Losing my grasp 
To break free upon this insanity 
Nothing stops the patterns from coming 
Only one thing that one cannot acquire 
So seeking the Lord upon this insane membrane 
Look here 
Pattern that surely is near 
Tempted by the blade 
Called by the flame 
To rip and tear 
The devourer is here 
Holding tight 
To not lose my grasp to the light 
Follow me upon this insane membrane 
Pattern here pattern there. Hello here! Hello there 
Does it make sense this confusion of the mind 
Breaking point now 
Do I dare to do a deadly deed or do I power on and seek serenity 
Am I ready to bleed 
Shall I be on the mend 
Slipping away from sanity 
Twisting and turning my heart 
Where will I go from here 
Tomorrow never comes 
For tomorrow will be today 
So hope for another day 
So one does not fade away

Wednesday, October 29, 2025

to not despair

You are my hope my only hope 
To bring me to Serene serenity
Who are you? Who calls my heart 
To the noor of all that lives
It shakes inside my heart 
Take me from the despair 
Bring in serenity near and dear 
Hoping for something more 
In this place so many want to die 
But here I am not alone 
For the almighty is on my side 
He sends the Angels to watch over his creation 
He grants protection to his slaves 
Allah The one and only 
I call you to my heart 
To break my will 
So you can guide me with qadar 
Is this Destiny to bring in the Hope 
To never despair
For the one that Snickers is on our case 
What will come from this chaos of the heart 
What will bring me close to you oh Allah 
But to stand to the Lord and call upon him to save you from the insanity 
You offer your prayer to him 
The only the one Allah 
You are the light to the darkness 
Even if it flickers 
That candle light that's in your soul 
For shaytan tries to blow it out 
With his whispers and his deviance 
Will I find serenity 
With Allah in my heart 
Tumbling down the stairs 
Wanting everything to end 
But I here I am, bending my will 
To not follow the nafs 
To keep me clean from the najs
Promise me I say to myself 
That I will not break my eman 
To seek the Lord always and time that despairs 
To bring my heart close, closer than it's ever been 
Lord I call upon you 
Allah the Almighty The greatest of all
Allahu Akbar 
Call upon serenity 
For God to grant us Serene thoughts 
To keep those who conquer our souls 
To those who wants to deviate our path 
What to do but worship the Lord 
Almighty Allah bless my soul
Soothe my heart
Take me from the darkest moments 
Granting me peace, of this serenity 
To seek the Lord Almighty 
To bring Allah close 
All you need to do 
Is to call to him to allow you to follow the path of the Sunnah 
Is it written for you and I 
Glorious Lord, I call upon you 
Save me from myself 
Bring in hope 
And never despair 
For Allah is with me always 
Even when you are alone, Allah is always by your side 
So bring in the peace of mind 
Away from the confusion. 
Diffusion illusion delusion of the mind
Allah save me always

Wednesday, October 22, 2025

the mist of insanity

Help me
Save me
End me
Devil in white
Pure insanity 
Snickering 
Breaking thy will 
Hope for today
For tomorrow never comes
Is life a gift
But a dew drop 
Reckon he's right
They must be
Full of this insanity 
Let my will break
Falling into the abyss
Surely to dismiss
My soul
Gone and lost
Tarnished 
Desperately seeking
The light, to conquer 
Will the Lord be on my side
What will come
If tomorrow is gone 
What must I do
I'm lost in the mist
Who will be my guide
Insanely wanting more
Something that is hope

whispering rage

Boiling point reach
Feeling uncertain 
Bend my will
Take moments to burst
Tears roll down
Unable to stand
This moment that he demands
Flooding of emotions
The whispers no longer slumber
Tag your it says one 
Another says choke them all
There's one that is quiet 
Barely speaks
Dial 911
Help and save me 
From the disaster 
Leave it at bay, the quiet one open up
Saying to destroy, but who
Myself for I am tarnished 
Breaking my will 
Bending to break 
Tick tock on the rock
Something more to be
But this disaster stands upon me
Let the rage consume everything
Leaving me soulless 
I'm a blank canvas 
Blend the red into the blue 
For it shall consume
Tarnished soul
Worthless one
What will break
But my will
Talk talk talk again
Listen to the beats 
To make it quick
Try not to drown in the flood that comes
Break free from the insanity 

Saturday, October 18, 2025

surfing insanity

Screaming insanity, wondering what this blessing is
Unable to cope, where to go 
Hell bound heaven unable to go
Surfing the lava
The fire calls me
Unable to cope
Ruptured 
Hatred 
Chaos 
What will come 
Upon a time to tell
Once this girl 
Cried until chaos came 
The darkness seeks 
The desire of her despair 
What will come of this chaos that is 
On a time to tell 
What will come
Cutting up the skin
Burning to be prepared 
For the hell fire
It calls me
To die until the hereafter
Bless my soul
Burn my spirit 
What will come of this game
This hatred brings me close 
Shall I choose, what will it be
To live in misery 
To end it all only to be resurrected 
Upon thy lord, I plea
He doesn't hear my heart
Upon this insanity 
Allah what will I do
This is but the matrix 
What is this illusion
To The delusion 
What am I supposed to do 
Destined for the fire
Forgotten 
Lost
Broken 
Hurt me
I plea
Ruptured soul 
Hatred of the heart
Blessed is me, upon this insanity
Destined for inspection of the mind
Lobotomy seeking
Only to be denied 
Save me, cure me
Allah I call upon you
The whispers that be
Call me and call me again and again
For I am lost 
Will I cope
Unable to breath
Suffocating disease 
Upon this deed
Sinning always me why would Allah help me
For designed this chaos of heart 
Let me be free
If this destruction of the heart 
Destroys the soul 
Ruptured is me 
Well this insanity be 
Far from me 
To seek the Lord indeed 
Allah the almighty 
Seeking this serenity 
Always far from me
Let me breathe
The final breath
Please come for me
That will be all
Until next time that be's

Thursday, October 16, 2025

breaking

Stuck in the abyss
Raging this moment
Ruptured my heart
My soul reaks of despair 
Up up down down
All around
Doctors and nurses
Chaos
What will they say
Frustrated mind
Break me
The powers that be
What is destiny
Let me breathe
Unable to cope
Just fester like your nothing 
Missing something
What is serenity 
Let me be free
Hang me
Cut me 
Let me bleed 
Suffering always
Rupture my head
Pain without sanity 
Just to end it all
What is life
But have patience
Break my rage in half
Betting that the tips will cure me
1 pill 2 pills 3 or so more 
Will this chaos break
Help me, save me
Break free

Tuesday, October 14, 2025

from finish line to the end

From start to finish 
What will come 
Upon a time 
In a secluded room 
And one takes their head penetrate their mind 
What is it like to be but to just survive 
Upon a time to tell 
Hope is gone 
Lost within the abyss 
The raptured feelings shall I dismiss. 
What will come of the game 
The insanity of pain 
For the rage goes on but not for others 
But for self 
I don't call to the Lord in times of needs 
Am I a lost sheep within the mist 
Waiting for my shepherd to guide me so 
Wanting the light to consume myself nothing will bring peace
Had throbbing mind 
Concussion here it comes 
Will I break free from this 
Hate and love for oneself. A confusion that's mixed 
Shall I dismiss 
What has it meant to be 
But to survive the powers of be that be 
What is my destiny 
How well I overcome this insanity 
Let me breathe those deep breaths 
Insanity in the membrane 
Take a plate and slip one's throat 
Take a fist and rupture the head 
Ready the flame for a disaster 
So many resources. Not enough answers 
What will come from this disaster 
What will bring me close to the Lord 
I tarnish soul ready to die
Will I if I ever survive this hate in this world that I have for myself 
Destiny is here and near and cannot change 
To suffer is purpose 
To save oneself, one cannot do 
For I am tarnished 
Just break me for I am fragile 
I am the illusion of the delusion 
Delusion to the break what Destiny's meant to be the purpose of life but to survive suffer evermore ever less ending more

Friday, October 3, 2025

I have pled

Please Lord save me from the despair
Save me me from my life
Lost with the abyss bubbling at the brim
Broken bent tarnished so many words
What hurts the most, is the uncertainty 
I plea with Allah to save me from myself
To take me to serenity 
I surrender to him
Alone 
La illal ill Allah 
There is so God but Allah 
Guide my heart from the najs of the Dunya 
Bring me closer to the Deen 
Losing control 
Save my life oh Lord
I love you
With more heart for you than myself
Broken beyond mend 
Never lose hope
Never fall to the whispers
The voices scream in my heart
To make me bleed
This is insanity 
Is it meant for me? 
So plea
Surrender yourself
To save yourself
Only with Allah 

Wednesday, October 1, 2025

definitely distorted

Twitchy switch
With the wrists 
Do I understand
What will come if this
The disaster of the Dunya
Unable to control 
Twitching to a switch 
Pitter pattern 
Let's get at them
What are they? 
As I stare so plainly 
So blankly 
But my vision so distorted 
Twitching to the beat
Ticking and rocking
At the end
Break my will 
Will this be the end? 
Hoping for sanity 
To break free from distortion of mind 
To have freedom
Trying to hope
Inshallah
Always

Wednesday, September 10, 2025

Stellar

Stellar lights around 
A firework going off in your mind 
Bringing in peace, only to find the mad hatter
Unable to cope, to reason, to ask for help
How can one? 
Confusion, distorted mind
Born to been insane
Serenity lost, the Noor flickers
Depression near and dear
Comes for all
Schizophrenic maniac 
At the bend, screaming for this life to end
Stellar visions ahead
Sparkling shapes, ever so slightly 
Not here, hope for the end
Losing hope at the time
For a lost individuals
Blueprints for the mind
So scramble disaster 
Ready for this after 
To seek a 
To bring in disaster 
Having something other than insanity 
What is needed? 
What is wanted? 
Wanting something not getting 
Trying so hard too to be 
Losing self
Sanity off on the bend 
Insanity in the rift 
Disaster, hope, hopelessness, Faith 
Bringing in faith to this unsorted events
Eman in the heart, fighting the carnage 
Thinking wondering wanting needing not succeeding 
Trying so hard to understand 
Confusion distorted thinking 
Stinking the mind 
Causing doubt within 
Doubt in self
Shall they seek the light? 
Even within the Noor 
Carnage will never end 
Insanity will never be at the brim 
But forever reminding you 
That you are not there 
Am I here? 
Do I belong? 
What will come? 
So many questions barely any answers 
So logical. It's illogical 
Irrational being 
Rational human 
Hoping for something 
Not knowing what that is 
Losing self within the carnage 
Stellar sparkles of pitter pattern 
To seek Hope so you don't lose to the disaster 
Recovery is possible 
What a lie, does this define what is insane 
Surely not sanity 
No longer self either 
Someone else a stranger 
Save me from myself or the stranger that is
I call to Allah to save me
Even though I am disaster 
Deserving Mercy 
Is this a test? 
Am I failing this test? 
What will come? 
So many questions 
Not many answers 
Barely any sanity here 
Gripping on to Noor
Forever more

Tuesday, August 19, 2025

spectacle show

Havoc arises, boiling point bursts
To extend the emotions
As they turn and rotate a spectacle display 
Ridge Sharp emotions 
Moving through me
Unable to cope
What is reality?
Why this confused state? 
Here I am
Seeking refuge in Allah from accursed Satan
An attack, wounds all over
I shall conquer my emotions 
For Allah is by my side
Allahu Akbar 
Able to slumber, only to ride
Not well rested
The aftermath 
Is here 
Alhamdulillah  
To learn, not letting the burst to explode 
Ridges blades hit
Cris Cross my heart
To seek refuge to Allah
That is the key
To panic climaxes 
Love Allah, love self, love others
There will be peace of mind 
Inshallah