Path: Borderline

I am sorry it has to come to this
Where i feel ripped apart
at my faults
I don't mean to be so high maintenance

Some will mistake me from a Drama Queen
Scared of death of labels
often am I referred to Felicia
"Goodbye Felicia "
Cruel words from the kettle

What's different for me
I can actually grasp some sort of reality
I understand it
It's often mistaken for sociopath behavior
on the path to serenity, i think not but on the path to some sort border
perhaps might as well name it Borderline paths for me

Don't be so hard to judge me so fast
do you understand the path is intertwined with
those eyes staring at me, millions upon millions of glimmering faces
never to conquer them but run to PRN
Self-esteem breakdown
I'm on railroad to fear
the worse anxiety I have felt

Just thinking about the Glimmer brings them scratching the surface and molded into vision

Tears roll upon my face
so much more
these as I'm raw
sensitive
a sponge waiting to suck up all the  emotions
unable to express normally
personally, i try to recover
be mindful of my emotions
be present in this moment

Another aspect of the path unwinding behind me
is not of the borderline
I connect with my friends all to well
and I'm blinded by my LOVE for them
so much that sometimes they are hurting me on the inside
that i must turn the blade to my skin

Only the crimson blood flows will satisfy me
one two three keep on going until there is nothing much bone left
I feel tarnished as the scars run all over my body
the urge grows stronger by the days that go by

Some say Reach reach out to someone who loves you back
what if you feel like a burden
you are left with a plea to God and those pleas are as empty as the emptiness consumes you

I am fed up with letting the disorder walk and wreak havoc on my life
can't leave it behind trying to forget
But walk hand in hand with it
you are one with borderline
Admit it
own it
express it
live and die with it

again hi I'm Borderline
don't judge me
we are all different
yet the same
we all have skills to deal with it
if you think I'm trying to trick you and control you with my words
when I reach out
you don't know me very well
it's not my intention
I'm broken
but just a bit dented with duct tape holding me together

Soon to be shattered
if I let every other personality break me
I will not break
because you what
I'm worth it
and never alone
Hope for today so tomorrow doesn't fade away

Rays of sunshine

Regret sinks in
Only to feel express the happiness
For others around you need your happiness
I am a ray of sunshine
After all I an a star child
Ever burning for ever more
I emit joy life freedom
Dare to inspire
Dare to get creative
Inspiration to some sorts

Now back to regret
Sorrow was upon my expression the last of night
So what do I do
But drown in sorrow but that stopped I substituted
I taste a smooth rum like substance

I was before in a state of recover
I write a symbol well played the part of addict
Am I one
Aren't we all some sort of junkie
I know I am for emotions

They bubble and move through me
Such a horror at times
Can be absolute bliss
I am a star child
I emit my rays of sunshine
Making it brighter

Don't be fooled
The borderline is there
Don't let a disorder lead the way
Walk hand in hand with it
Be friends
But be in charge of your emotions
The good, bad, and ugly.
Don't let them affect you so
Manipulate you to twist and turn
Shaking my head

I found an out let
I found many coping skills
You may hear about them
Read about them

Write your heart out

Not to get side tracked
But back to regret
I regret that yesterday was not more joyful I may have started chaos or encouraged it
After all we be in the cycle of chaos but on our path to serenity.

So omit the happiness you want and perhaps you may receive it

Star child
Shine bright and everlasting
Don't let the borderline rule you remember hand in hand
Don't let it own you