She Calls

What is this
But a desire deep down
Deeper than the devour
One that wants to ride out on a high
Is this me
Do I desire
To smoke bliss
Inject hope
Whats next

I desire what might kill
She is sexy
She is beautiful
A dream to come true

Shall I smoke on this bliss
Warm me up she says
Ready the needle
To soak up a deadly deed
But the insanity is far from me

As you see beyond what reality
This be bliss
I ready to die for her
Thank you lovely
It was meant to be
Stuck running on temporary
Reality is near
Time to shoot another
Cant get enough
I am ready
What is next?

Chaos of the heart and soul in here
What is meant for me
To be near an end
many doors to lead there
Shall I dance with her?
That sweet deed

MemBrain

Crazy in the membrane
Can i comprehend
What is here
Now above the mist
Shall I take thee leap
Of destiny
Near and Dear
I'm left
Sipping on bliss
Sucking in the chaos
What shall be dismissed
I feel queasy in here
Bout to explode
Am I right?
Beyond what seems
This must be insanity
Here I am
Reckless
Beyond what is right
Crazy on the outside
Wanting nothing more than serenity...

Whats next?

To conquer the darkness
So I can adjust
What will be destined for me
Beyond this reality
Illusions can be a must
To Take me beyond my deeds
To What is desired

A place of serenity
Where the worries of anxiety disappear
Fears of all kinds never fear
We be sipping on bliss
Not Letting the chaos in
For this is serenity

Just for moment

Then back to insanity
Where Fear rules my every being

I still smile
For I am free to BE

What have I found

Where to go?
So many of possibility to be
Near to defeat
Upon the staircase what is meant for me?
To gaze upon sanity
Where is it next to be, standing in the star gazed bliss
Sinking into desire
melting into the chaos
is this what meant for you and I?
Bring me close to my spirit
I call as you whisper into my heart
Aoothu billah mina shayton ajeem
Oh Allah
Safe me from my nafs
They burden my heart, to sink into the chaos
Bismillah ar rahman ar rahmeen
Here I am shifted once again
up down side to side
here i am being
caught up with the bliss sending me into a chaotic state
What will happen
In the coming days
if only medication was a must
until the question that answered its you and I
Allahu Allahu Allahu
Please hold me
Guide me
Give me shifa
Inshallah
Ameen
what is next?
its time to face
What is here
next to my heart
lets just breath upon sanity
for but a moment
in this bliss
comprehend not life but bliss, to bring the nafs to justice
What is happening?
I am right upon what I say
You shall not mention this
Aoothu billah mina shayton ajeem
Bismillah ar rahman ar raheem

Rays of sunshine

Regret sinks in
Only to feel express the happiness
For others around you need your happiness
I am a ray of sunshine
After all I an a star child
Ever burning for ever more
I emit joy life freedom
Dare to inspire
Dare to get creative
Inspiration to some sorts

Now back to regret
Sorrow was upon my expression the last of night
So what do I do
But drown in sorrow but that stopped I substituted
I taste a smooth rum like substance

I was before in a state of recover
I write a symbol well played the part of addict
Am I one
Aren't we all some sort of junkie
I know I am for emotions

They bubble and move through me
Such a horror at times
Can be absolute bliss
I am a star child
I emit my rays of sunshine
Making it brighter

Don't be fooled
The borderline is there
Don't let a disorder lead the way
Walk hand in hand with it
Be friends
But be in charge of your emotions
The good, bad, and ugly.
Don't let them affect you so
Manipulate you to twist and turn
Shaking my head

I found an out let
I found many coping skills
You may hear about them
Read about them

Write your heart out

Not to get side tracked
But back to regret
I regret that yesterday was not more joyful I may have started chaos or encouraged it
After all we be in the cycle of chaos but on our path to serenity.

So omit the happiness you want and perhaps you may receive it

Star child
Shine bright and everlasting
Don't let the borderline rule you remember hand in hand
Don't let it own you