Trials

Ready set go

Status within the illusion you see

Depends on what you want to be

Do you want to wallow within the wisps?

Or do you strive within the Deen?

Are you lost within your path

Holding on to something that may not be good for you

To puff puff pass

Allowing the illusion of happiness to be deemed by this

But truly this is not meant to be

As I stand here so

And kneeling and head to ground

To be within hope

Let us pray let us pray

It's not meant for God he does not need us 

We are the creation, made but from clay as Allah blew his breath in us

We are not perfect for perfectionism is for Allah only

But we strive to do good to do the best of deeds The Good deeds to allow those angels to write down so soundly what you do each day

To remember that those scribes will come to you on judgment Day

Have some taqwa

Within God you see

There is truly sanity

Life is but a test in some struggle more than most

But Allah said be so here we are as we are.

Struggling on to the hopes of humanity in this materialistic world

I'll let you in on a secret happiness is not found in the materialistic things

With Allah indeed within the Ummah

We do our supplication to him all day everyday and we don't forget the rememberance of him in his names

99 of them knowing so far

The beneficial

The just

The loving

The merciful

The gracious

So why not follow Allah for within the books there is distortation because humanity has changed so

To their desires you see

You cannot pick and choose what God has deemed for you What is lawful, and unlawful

But here I am pondering so will this really work it didn't before

But then again I have changed who I am

I have not seen beyond reality in a while

At least Islam brings hope for the future

Hating on one another is not the deen

One another should build each other up

Do not forget the world and other Muslims who are not human

For we are the caretakers of this Earth

So remember without this world we would not be

And that thought itself is insanity

Maybe the end times are near so to say

But have hope

And never stop praying

Bring the piece to heart

Allahu you're the only one for me

For I'm not afraid to stand alone

And the trials are yet to begin

As I tried to stop the smoke from penetrating me

But here I am still being 

Stuck in the chaos once again

But that little light is still a shining inside

Do not forget and always speak truth

Done

I am wondering on this world of My reality

To not be able to see outside the box

I feel as though I'm trapped within the darkness

Pulling through the chaos over and over again

Wanting it to eventually end

Finding that hopelessness is at the end

Far nor bear

Do we know?

Truly not for that is not our place

I want to find solitude within myself

I want to be content with being ill

There is so many things I want but it seems unattainable

As sharks move within the sands of the sea

Will it ever be beyond insanity?

Well I ever believe in Hope of that reality?

Never quite sure, wanting much more

But feeling so scarred and tarnished so

And the Carnage is with me so listen please

I am not worthy

For what I do and see

I am different from the rest of you

I feel that energy around and I can take it as thy own

As it negatively affects me

Will I ever be at peace?

Well I know the virtues of peace?

In this time of my life you see

Or will it be granted to me on judgment Day just a glimpse of peace and Hope

Is enough for me

As tears rip through me

Unable to cope

I reckon I should just do Dua

Even that seems to be stopped by the insanity that be's in the mind that can't control reality

I want to believe in me that I am possible to overcome the insanity

But as the days roll on by and the months begin to begin to years

To worsen as you age

To have your psychiatrist ask you what he should do

What is the point really in this world anymore?

I don't care, I'm done

Next time it comes I will not fight 

For I am defeated

I do not know if I should relay my light to my deity Allahu you see

I want to please him so solely

But I'm drifting from the light

I just want to keep on going until there's nothing left 

The Carnage will not be subdued

For the devour is here

Never fear, it's something dear

Within thyself I feel

Corrupted within my will

Let it be let it be even with the insanity

As I scribe and ponder so wonderfully

Will this be the end soon to come?

To pass on the courage to another

To raise awareness of this curse

There is no cure for what I have

I'm running out of answers

I don't want to have that courage for that day

When I make that promise I made so many years ago 

I just can't let it go

I seek refuge in a love from the accursed Satan

I testify that there is no God but Allah and that Muhammad is the slave  and messenger of Allah

I cannot deny what truth is

Soon I will lose the war

I'm tired of fighting

So let's just calmly go with the insanity