Rays of sunshine

Regret sinks in
Only to feel express the happiness
For others around you need your happiness
I am a ray of sunshine
After all I an a star child
Ever burning for ever more
I emit joy life freedom
Dare to inspire
Dare to get creative
Inspiration to some sorts

Now back to regret
Sorrow was upon my expression the last of night
So what do I do
But drown in sorrow but that stopped I substituted
I taste a smooth rum like substance

I was before in a state of recover
I write a symbol well played the part of addict
Am I one
Aren't we all some sort of junkie
I know I am for emotions

They bubble and move through me
Such a horror at times
Can be absolute bliss
I am a star child
I emit my rays of sunshine
Making it brighter

Don't be fooled
The borderline is there
Don't let a disorder lead the way
Walk hand in hand with it
Be friends
But be in charge of your emotions
The good, bad, and ugly.
Don't let them affect you so
Manipulate you to twist and turn
Shaking my head

I found an out let
I found many coping skills
You may hear about them
Read about them

Write your heart out

Not to get side tracked
But back to regret
I regret that yesterday was not more joyful I may have started chaos or encouraged it
After all we be in the cycle of chaos but on our path to serenity.

So omit the happiness you want and perhaps you may receive it

Star child
Shine bright and everlasting
Don't let the borderline rule you remember hand in hand
Don't let it own you

Meaning

What does life mean to me?

I sit ponder wonder upon the ocean of emotions

Does it mean to feel every emotion run through you like the ice wind penetrating your body

I stand at the edge of the cliff and look down

Will i jump to my death

to end this agony...

Will an angel catch me

I pray falling to my knee's

Oh God

Is it waste to ply to you

Worship

Does this mean something to me

Faith I have it

But it withers goes up and down

Often with my sanity, do I find my emotions running rampant 

Stop catch my breath

was suppose to be writing about life

What does this life mean to me

I want to cause purpose

As i write each emotion down

Empathy is met to my pen

As long as someone reads my words and takes them to heart

I will be happy

As long as i live on with my writings in a heart to some lost one

Im not broken but rebuilding

I was broken

But now rebuilding

So my friend I say what is meaning

to me

its my happiness

and where do i find but in my travels, through the many smiles i meet to the sorrowful eyes from a child or man or women 

Maybe the lost hopeful eyes of stray in the pound

I will find it

meaning i think already have

I found in others

that i mean something to them

im wanted

im loved

and if i was to take the knife to the life line

I shall drown in my sorrows of my family and friends

So today i live

and tomorrow well hope for today so tomorrow dont fade away

Words

Where am I?
but on my star not too far from reality
will I lose myself
will I prove to myself
will believe in me
so many questions
so much self-doubt
ar the brim of the ocean
Tears keep on flowing
never stop
because if I did I would be broken

I'm not broken
no no no
not then
not now and not tomorrow
I am strong and free
people believe in me
they truly love me
so then why cannot love self
why must hate flow
are they the desires of the devil
he ha ha ha he
devil show us self as you snicker from the hearts of humans
Greed runs all wars
Lust run everyone to deviant ways

Deviant, I am
trying to be humble
but fuck that
I should be proud
if not for self but for those who admire me
yes believe not people admire
fucked up as it seems

some judge me by the badges on my arms
what they don't know
am I hate myself so
for taking that blade

tick tock reality is about to break the barrier

I'm falling down and ascending to my body finally 
heart soul and spirit are one
I stand at the edge
once again will an angel come to my aid
surely because those thoughts run throughout of my maze 
the labyrinth of thy mind
I'm all over the place
never at peace
wanting but two things for self in life 
being happiness and peace

Is this attainable?

perhaps
Hope is here so near and dear
Have some heart
Don't lose your grasp
Sanity depends on it