Needing

Where am I?

Upon this time that be

In this insanity

Shall this be deemed for me

Wanting nothing but serenity

Holding on to hope

Even when loss is here

Of mind and soul

My every being

Upon this time

Let me breathe

So soundly

Up down all around

Chaos bursting at the brim

Calculated doom to be

For my this time in need

Shall I find Hope within chaos

Here is to that

Wondering if this will help

Walking on this path

Towards serenity

Fighting my way at every moment

Shall this be the way

Truly is the Battle of jihad

Surely we struggle always

I am but a human fully flawed

Will I overcome what burdens me so

I can but hope only

Never giving up to let the light flow

Bring peace to the heart

How?

I search for hope

Never giving in

I'm still here

Fighting

Needing

Wanting

I will not give in

For I am not alone

For the light is with me

Allah The one and only

He is there for me

Blessed be this reality

Hope for today, so tomorrow brings joy

Never giving in

I shall strive always

Within the destiny that be's

So let me breathe 

Nice and deeply

Waiting for serenity

Let life truly be

Even within my insanity

I truly need hope

Destined

Created by chaos

Unable to cope

Readying they blade

To slice and dice

Wanting nothing but an end

Here I am with destruction of the heart

Broken beyond the bend

Tick tock on the dot

Stitches all over

Want nothing but to break free

From the bad deeds

What is destined for me?

Shall I breathe, so deeply

Start again

Running around the bend

Surely I shall mend

On the path

Following nafs

Well they be better for me

Other than the najs thoughts

They whisper so silently

Within my soul

Well my mind break

From the insanity

Let me breathe

My final breathes

Will peace be near and dear

Far from me

So let it be

Time to see

What's destined for me

The Fight Goes On

Where to go

Upon this time

With the doom

Shall I pray?

Only to plea for the darkness to disappear

Within my heart

Pains meet so

Emptiness here

Upon this day

What will be?

Up to Cloud 9

Does this define?

Artificial Bliss

Conquered from night to day

Unable to feel

Stuck with in the solitude

My heart yearns ever so

For a time when serenity is near

For the clarity wants to break free

To bring peace to the heart

For destruction shall bring despair

 Emptiness shall break the heart

Feeling so tarnished beyond control

Wanting nothing more but peace in the heart

So let one pray

For the Lord shall save you indeed

For even within the loneliness for God is always with you

And let the Divine light conquer your soul

To bring you closer to peace

To bring it to your heart

To allow the Noor to consume the darkness

To start our day let us pray

To bring peace to the heart

Never giving up

The fight goes on

The everlasting battle

I am ready to fight on

I shall not break from uncertainty

But truly be within this insanity

Destined to be free

Finally within this destiny

holding on

Broken beyond the bend

Unable to cope

Will I breathe so deeply?

Only to suffocate from the overbearing emotions

Wanting nothing but emptiness

Surely to dismiss

Upon this time

Will this be the way?

Hoping for a certain outcome

Wanting nothing but for life to end

Grasping the blade

As it shatters my heart

Will my soul be tarnished?

What will the outcome be

Upon this time

Shall serenity lead to clarity

To bring peace

To the mind and soul

Let one ponder so

Seeking hope

Wanting peace

Seeking refuge

Only to be turned away

By the desires of hate

For self

Am I worthy?

Tarnished ever so

Hoping for serenity

One can only be with patience

For hope to come

Holding to the happiness

The desire to be free

Well this torture stop

Will I seek the lord

What will come to be

So many questions

Only to hope for tomorrow

So it doesn't fade away

Milliseconds of Bliss

Following something unknown

Seems to be deemed

Reaping the desires that be

Unable to control

At times of insanity

Is this me?

So stuck within this list

My heart is drained

Hard within my heart

Wanting nothing but destruction

Maniac running on the brim 

Up down all around

Start again

Repeat

Is this right?

Perhaps not

So I write

To lead a bad desire

To a state of serenity

My heart bleeds but truly needs

That light that's needed

The flickering within the darkness

Let this be

Something perhaps of bliss

Used but a millisecond

What a feeling indeed

Destined for me

Blessed for but a second

Clarity near and dear

To ride out the storm

To tame the beast inside

Seeing things through

Let there be peace of mind in time

Such one can only hope

That is the key for me

Lighting the way

On the bleak path, upon dismay

Care to stay, unable to breathe

So I scream, silently

Cuts so deeply, devouring desires

Shall this reap destruction?

I am me, free to be

Upon this insanity

Let me be

Chorus on the way, let one pray

Darkness reading the room

Waking in the day of night

In a deep cold sweat

Taking the flame to the torch

To light the way, following the Noor

Taking refuge within my serenity

Let me be, worshipping Allah

So be it, even when all are against me

Even myself

I strive truly try

Wanting nothing but bliss

But only to dismiss

Am I worthy?

Upon tomorrow, another way

Path set ahead

Strive, do good

Illusion of the display

Let me pray, perhaps paying the price

To hope for today, so tomorrow doesn't fade away

So let us pray, for hope

To light the way

Familiar uncertainty

Waking in the night

Uncertainty at the peak

It twists and rips within me

This old formilar feeling

I don't know where to go

Falling into doom

What will be?

Upon this time

Middle of the night

Aniexty to the might

Unable to comprehend

Why must this be

Coming back to me

Why must the discomfort control

My heart and soul

I'm lost within my eman

Wanting to just understand

My heart yearns for serenity

Unfortunately the storm goes on

Breaking me beyond the bend

Counting the minutes to the end

Screaming with this destiny

What must come to be

Upon this uncertainty

Holding on to the Noor

As darkness embraces my heart

I am still me

With the darkness that resides in me

The light will always find me

A beacon of hope

That will be

Forever within destiny 

Path found

Here I am wondering

What will be?

Sway with me

As I flow

As the river that be's

Emotions run through me

Destined that be

Chaos that deemed

Let's see

Upon this insanity

Nothing but a dream to be

To find serenity

Dreaming truly a dillusion

Psychotic episode

Chaos comes with me

I am the storm

The maniac wanting something more

Hoping for freedom

Wanting nothing but to find

Hope is what's needed

Shall it be?

Destined for me

Seems to be

Destruction of a disaster

Explosion of nafs

What I want?

What I do?

It's up to me

So I truly need

To find the Peace

What light is meant?

The Noor in heart

Calls you

To the truth

Let it be

To seek the knowledge

To need the peace

Redeem yourself

Call upon the Lord

Allah Almighty

The greatest

Finding hope

Will save myself

So I seek Allah

Always

Even in the dank darkness

There be a flicker of hope

That will save me

Truly let's see

What will come indeed