Holding to Fight

Knock knock

At the hearts door

I stare so blindly at my destiny 

Was this meant for me

Shall I open a  verse and recite thee

I'm drowning hoping that Allah will save me so

Auuthoo Billah mina shayton ajeem

I seek refuge in God from the accursed Satan

I'm barely here, That breath but that life you wrote for me

Does it set me free

I am tarnished

Am I still muslim

I pray to thee lord destined not just for me

But for every being that was To BE

I'm still barely holding on to my sanity

Those patterns follow me

In my sight barely being

they are a reality as i see them but only to me

Swallow this

Jinn if you ever being in me

To hold against the deen in this dunya 

I scream so silently but worry not for Allah hears all our cries and knows all our fears

I fear you 

Oh Allah almighty and the one to save humanity and jinns to be

I fear your might

Almighty merciful Allah that sees all hearts follow our nafs

Which a good 

Which are bad

We have the Words to tell us so

Follow me i'm floating up to surface

And here I am

Still followed by the faces that are patterns

I plead and will plea until the day of judgement

Then you have eternal right to deem me where

But please dont lose me

I'm trying hard to not float along

But to fight against the current

That is my jihad for me you and them

Uncertainty

Yes I'm loud and proud to be queer even in this deen of uncertainty to be free

I'm no better then another

But yes please be with me

For laughs

Cheer and sure beer up a pint

I care not to partake

But know a good time either way

Guess what love is what we need

For me you and yes them

Be good kind and do the deeds to better the ummah and humanity

I am standing at the bar

All the people are laughing

With the delusion of good cheer

My nafs are strong as I fall to my knees

Wondering what come of me

Stuck in addiction

Puff Puff Pass

It destroys life

I breath ever so deeply

I wander in society

Is this what's meant for me

Keep on saying as Salaam alaikum

Keep praying to Almighty the Lord

Allahu Allahu do you hear me

I plead what I been guilty with

Please Allahu forgive what I do

I'm stuck in my addiction

Ready to kneel and submitting my heart

To Allah

Lord Almighty forgive those who wander

Surely your flock wanders

I am ready

Let's go

Smile a Kindness

Happiness where do we find it?

Where but in people, they hope

Have willingness to be

Some of us suffer more than most

But that little light of mine shines in the darkness

Never wilting

I am me

Even within all this insanity of the world that's deemed for all

Crazy world we live in so many labels and judgements to go for all

But that little light of mine came a knockin

here I am

Smiling brightly because its a kindness and good deed

Best worthwhile to please another with a deed surely like this

Some of the best of deeds are the smallest

Help humanity

Respect the earth

Be peaceful

It's not a race

We may feel frustrated beyond the bend

Society is cruel

Do not judge them all

For hope is on our side

Some don't understand

It's up to us to educate

Dare i say share the knowledge in which you acquired

Here to stay in this world

I hope that you will join me hand in hand

Defining hope

We cannot do it alone, but we can with support from friends and family

Don't give up

You feel as though your lost

We all do from time to time

Just be

Breath deeply and lightly exhale

I'll say one more thing before this comes to an end

Smile dare you too

not just with you mouth but your eyes fro one can reflect a soul by their eyes

Smile on the inside before the outside

And that will save you from some of the insanity deemed for you and I

venus

Venus
You rose from the sea
As a shinning seashell bears you
There are many aspects of thy love for you
We have not forgotten
Our lust in with you
The love of all in with you
Dancing with cupid child of love
Have an arrow to trick one another
Glorious union of love beauty
Will turn our hearts to you

If we pray to you lovely Goddess

Will victory over our heart bare witness to you?

We feed on the flesh of you
Scallops feeding our breast
Will you heart show the way
For love is the key
To pray to you
To worship you our ancestor
You are a mother in which our flesh is united with desire of lust

You have many names
Venus triumph on
Lovely Gods come to you for love
Wars have bidded your lust
Victory over your enemy

I shall conquer the heart
with you my Deity

Rise from the sea
Once again
So we can see your beauty

We will never forget you

Even if our desires are warped beyond lusty deeds

We will conquer love for you
Lovely Goddess

Eating me

Its eating me alive

Im craving do i despise my self

To conquer the flesh im here ready for the fight dare i crave

Slice and dice what will be in the night soon to come

Wil I give in, can I conquer this

Beating my chest I am ready

Only to know the fight is me

Pounding down the drain

Chew spit chew swallow

Im nearly done the deadly deed

Yes here i am, no sir you no one care about me

How this tares me open

They  focus on the blaze the sweet nectar a flower for you and I

Do they mind?  Yes even though its legal do they despise

Where am I going? Left here screaming in my mind for the fearless to let me free

Do they mean to, can i conquer one two maybe nine

I tired of the looks this is me

Me and my Pica

Indeed

now

Here I am

Wearing my badges rightfully

Truthfully

You may look at me

Saying what a freak

Damn straight I am

Free to be me

In this insanity

Care for me

What's meant to see

Beyond our illusions

We have them all

Insanity has set me free

To think in the box

Hard to say

But there I am

I did

Spread your wings

Follow eternal knowledge

Think it out

Ponder

Is this right for me

To question so

Why not

We are learning as each stone is casted

To the ripple that causes bigger ripples

Will I finally be free

From insanity

Yes that's I'm no longer thee

I am new

Look at me

I am finally free

Beat this

More to vent

Slice Am I free
Cut burn deemed for me
Is this serenity?
Chaos of the nafs
Will this be reality once again

Reach out
Why?
Is it worthwhile?

I scream
As the blood drips down me
So silently
As the crimson bliss
IS ready for me
That's right
Get Ready

You old dirty devil
I'm hell bound
Will his snicker and roar wait for me
I that whats meant for me

I thought I was right in my haq and deen
Will this dunya save me
Quiet
As one recites true serenity
Is meant for us
Lost long forgotten and forsaken

Only one is meant to be worshiped
Even in times of deadly deeds
As one takes a blade
To go down the river

Fuck that
Zig Zag
Deep
Rip and tear

Oh God
Save me
From this insanity

I want love
To love me
Is it possible
to go
7months with one cut nor a burn to claim

Noor is waiting
On another side of the bliss

Fear
But love conquers all
His love for his creation
Bismillah ar rahman ar raheem

Yes its ready
Finally
Free to be
What is next?

Lets close our eyes
Ready for a new canvas
to blend and morph
Yes something old and forgotten
Remember the good and forget the hurt

Its pending
My soul deemed for thee
Am I ready to see?

Finally
Am I free?