Hard for me

This is hard
My friends
I know since i left islam
That i have lost some friends
It the same as when i became a muslim
I lost family and friends
Now since i left
Im vocal about how islam deceives
But it was also good for me
Kept me from going astray
Getting into trouble was not for me afterwards
Now im just afraid of losing some really good friends
After all i make friends for life
Even my own flesh and blood looks at me diffirently now
I havent changed
I am still me
Lindsey remeber you are you
God said Be in the Quran
I know this God of the Quran is not the true one
because from what i read and felt his love was conditional
but Allah the father loved us so much he gave his begotten son to humanity
So please read about this with an open heart
I know it took me a while to relize how much "He" loves me
But He might know me and every fiber so he knows that
I love him
Jesus please i beg of you to save me from myself
Grant me new friends as i accept your grace into my heart
For once in my life i desire jannah the paradise
I dont know what took me so long
Maybe i just needed that love to reach my inner soul
For spirit mixes with the holyness of the holy spirit
I bask in this light
For its taken that rope from my grasp
Ya Allah the Father never forget me
I am here to serve you