I am here

To go back to the beginning
Its hard to say
depends where we are starting
at the first whisper of the shahada
or the first time i fell in love with God

I never thought there was a God
let alone only one God
I was young
and unhappy
my life was but shattered glass
stepping onwards only to harm ones self

Islam filled a void for a love that i needed to express
Love for self and love for a diety
but as the deceivers mist began to fade
the fog was lifted
i relaized that islam just was not for me
What was the put of feeling to guilty
I was just following my heart
what harm came from it
some good happened at first

i feel so lost
i want something formilar afterall
islam was part of me for a long time
i grew so much
declined and excel
I would be lying to say
there wasnt still apart of me wanting it
Islam a way of life
the deen the way

Is the love for its an illusion
I thought happiness was but illusion
but then again i didnt know the true God
The father
The Son
The Holy Spirit
First God sent his son
to touch my heart
the first time i prayed to him the father
sincerely with no doubt was but recently

I wept a great deal for my Lord helped me say goodbye
To those i held so close to heart
because unlike me
they were saved
I dont think i will ever believe that i am saved

Maybe when i stand before God on judgement day
And he opens his arms to me
A hug thats holy, enternal, loving, everlasting
I already feel this light wrapped close around me
For I admit This true God is the one for me
He taught so much to humanity
Love God and Let Go

So reach to the sky
and praise
Lord oh Lord
have your mercy unto me
Grant me paradise
Kingdom
Where the most High will reside
In Jesus the Lord and Saviors name
Amen