me I and myself

If i wept a thousand years
nothing would have changed
I dont know what wrong
I cant pin point the emptiness source
What can i do other than blades
other than devour

I slipped up last night
Devouring as nothing else mattered
As long as its moderation then its OK
Ok they say
How come i dont feel in such a way

Some friends say that old dirty devil is hitting me hard
maybe so but i think its mostly me
its part of the emptiness
Its called the other me
so named by my sister
she doesnt like it when i get this way
she says i act oddly weird out of my own skin

Do i need to keep saying goodbye to those passed on
for they haunt my ever being
I already said goodbye so many times
And wept until my heart wants to stop
so whats the point of going on

Is it forself or for God
God doesnt want you to end it
why do you want such
Listen i know you much better than I think
You yourself knows you better than anyone else

Its just the emptiness we know how it started
Lie here and lie there to cover up the truth into why
I dont know what to do
I dont hate myself anymore
I love God more than myself
as it should be for the servants of our Lord

So if i love God more than self
Then Why isnt the light consuming me
God is good God is just God is merciful God is wrathful
We know were we will go
We dont want that anymore
You want to see loved ones
Its not joke
Hell is real
and you think this reality can be hell
Nothing is compared to the hellfire of thy Lord

So remeber your not alone
you have your brothers and sisters in christ
siblings in humanity
and lastly God will never leave you
Even when myself is covered in darkness and emptiness
Nothing can break God's love for you

So rest young one
Rest another day
worry not the time has not come for you
Remeber to Love God