Tears

Memories here that be

Right down the lane

Storming with insanity

I want nothing but to be done

With emotions you see

It's overload as each one hurts

Worse then when happened

Scarred so much

I can barely breath

Will some of this pain lessen for me

I feel lost and down, consuming with feelings

Rapid as they rip through me

Brings me to my knees

Do I plea

Not lately

I'm losing indeed

Still fighting

Till the end

Striving for happiness

sadness lost of hope

Where to start

I'm broken beyond the mend

My mind twists and turns constantly it matters turns to rage I don't feel good most of the time people really affect me because I'm an empath and that means I see him feel with emotions that see beyond what you can see within the reality but all I can think about is the tears resident in my heart and fall down my face has each one burnt my skin but I'll always be alone because everyone leaves I have people that don't call me back I have people that don't message me back I have family that I haven't talked to in years why does everyone judge me so I try not to judge others that's not my job I just want friends and family but I have nothing but the blade flare the flare

Destined to be tarnished will I find my way I thought I did with him his mom could even then I'm not understand no one understands me I feel lost me on the bed in my heart is written telling me go to our myself and I'll never know if this is the right way but I'm done hurting myself inside with all the emotions that flow why doesn't anyone understand that I can't control what happens to be I can't control the delusions the confusion the race to time will I live alone life probably not because eventually I'll lose the war and then the end will come and no hereafter for me I just want to stop existing I don't want to be this way anymore but I've always been this way and it just gets worse and worse as age so if you don't hear me or talk to me that's okay I've been alone since the start

I hope you have a good life

edgewalker

I wonder how this be's within the insanity

As my heart sees beyond reality, in the delusion you see 

I can't recognize what is right in the light 

I'm misguided you see at this time of rage and anger and fear 

You see, perhaps someday a cure will be found, but not in my lifetime 

I do not think, but who knows 

For there is a cure for everything for Allah cures all

I am far from perfect, perhaps perfectly imperfect 

As my mind goes up and down in the emotions that flow 

I remember Allah is always by my side 

To seek refuge in God from the accursed Satan 

What if it is not from him?, but from God indeed 

For Jihad is not just fighting in a physical sense

One of the most important ones is your spiritual self, and your personal self 

The ones that you go through every day of your deen

Alhamdulillah inshallah mashallah

These are all good words we should say 

Minute by minute, day by day until we rest in the grave

 For when the angel to collect our soul

To stand before our God, the angels bestowed on our shoulders

Then we will know what the end happens 

Until then we never know for we are not God 

We do not have absolute truth, I sit here pondering upon the days sky 

The mind is very distorted, but my faith is coming back 

Alhamdulillah

Always

memories pain and joyful

As I start to remember 

It blazes past me like a sharp blade to the skin 

The emptiness within, I'm trying to find joyous things in those memories of the past

To remember the good and forget the bad, to not blame myself there's something

That I cannot control to, leave it to God for he knows all

To wonder and wander upon the universe 

Shall one be within the light or cast aside within the darkness, but to remember fight the darkness

To never let go

Just because I forgot his voice does not mean I do not forget the emotions

I felt and the true love of a parent to a child unconditionally

I plea, and plea with my Lord indeed

Time to ponder....

To remember to stop, evaluate to express

 Write your heart out 

Pen to paper, letting it blend for the canvas is ready for the color and shades 

To be known as Noor 

Remember to always look for it even within the insanity that be's

Journey

Here we are again, wandering into the night sky

Wondering if this is upon the day, to come hoping for something that the master seeks us for and we are beckoning that we are ready 

Firstly you will see the actions, by the Prophet Mohammed we will peace be upon him

At times I feel so broken and burden to the Lord 

Tarnished until I break falling to the ground and failing to meet reality lost within the abyss 

Trying to levitate within the mist to find the truth, once again as it slips as each time you go into a non lunacy phase

I feel that as the Lord, is testing me 

Allah you are right to do so for life is just many tests for us to understand, to be humble to another to let the love flow

We do as the prophets before us have done, what had the messages truly said to be kind to one another, and do it on to those  would do to yourself

We're coming to the rise the sunrise and as we do would do we get through ready to do our Fajr, before we pray to God.

Saying Oh Allah I offered thee my prayer please accept my salah

Not giving up having some hope, climbing out of the pit even if this lucid mind is but limited.

Maybe I will rise another time more motivated to be simply free

As the freedom bares with me I allow some sanity, will this be possible

May having such hope means to please thy Lord

So Dhkr is best for you and I

It's said helping one another is whats best of deeds, the smallest, and the humble we become

To let say to the day Alhamduillah thank you Allah for Haq 

July 21st

 Do you feel this time

Upon the daring memories

Must I see them, all over again

As each emotion burn, tears touching the skin burning lightly so

Shall I spend  another decade, wallowing in the abyss

Afraid to rush into the bliss

Understanding not what is right, for the emotions ever flow

Upon this time I am better so

But still burning tears to the face

More tears this year than before

Its been 27 years,  a horror to self

I want to scream, but my voice inside is silent

As emotions flow to the brim

Bursting at rim

Ready for flight, or fight, 

Perhaps freezing 

My mental health is but solitude, I try to gather thy emotions

To be a solid and not bend

Will this be thy will

nothing but Willing to please

As I plea with an unknown deity 

Why much hate for self?

Shall this be another year of sorrow

Waiting for September

Ready to plea

With a lord indeed

The October a double hitter

Only to hit winter to spring of depression state

So lets levitate

To the new arising

To be free, even from sanity, so I plea and plea

So suddenly

Free as I can be

Just breath

Clarity

Falling onto the path of uncertainty, why must it be this way
To inhale the bliss to dismiss what may be right
Uncertain are the daggers to my heart of thy mind does it tear
Emotions run rapid on my body, does it quiver ever so slightly
To Suffer so much that chaos of my mind soul and body enters artificial bliss
One medication dose, then the noon one
What possesses me to not take supper and whats the point?
I falling into the pit, and I ran and jumped with glee to get here
Is this whats meant to be within the insanity beyond the clarity
Do I see? Whats meant to be
I refuse to suffer more and more so I grasp what maybe a light
To rip twist turn
To make new rifts so the insanity doesn't distort
This is right in this light whats meant for you and me
To invite whats deemed to be
So I write, to write my heart and every emotion out
I am here
Remember me, with my words
New rifts to be within what I deem in the Clarity
Sun Soaked bliss, That I not not dismiss
Smile its deemed for you and me
Beyond the suffering
The chaos is near, but the bliss wins the race
Clarity dismisses the insanity, that is what is right
Once again I am Free to Be within this destiny