Clarity

Falling onto the path of uncertainty, why must it be this way
To inhale the bliss to dismiss what may be right
Uncertain are the daggers to my heart of thy mind does it tear
Emotions run rapid on my body, does it quiver ever so slightly
To Suffer so much that chaos of my mind soul and body enters artificial bliss
One medication dose, then the noon one
What possesses me to not take supper and whats the point?
I falling into the pit, and I ran and jumped with glee to get here
Is this whats meant to be within the insanity beyond the clarity
Do I see? Whats meant to be
I refuse to suffer more and more so I grasp what maybe a light
To rip twist turn
To make new rifts so the insanity doesn't distort
This is right in this light whats meant for you and me
To invite whats deemed to be
So I write, to write my heart and every emotion out
I am here
Remember me, with my words
New rifts to be within what I deem in the Clarity
Sun Soaked bliss, That I not not dismiss
Smile its deemed for you and me
Beyond the suffering
The chaos is near, but the bliss wins the race
Clarity dismisses the insanity, that is what is right
Once again I am Free to Be within this destiny

So unknown

 I am not well

Here I am 

More insane as the moment goes by

At last I'm alone, but fear not for Allah is here

Remeber one who suffers most has betterment in jannah

What if you were like me?

Never wanting heaven nor reward

I do my good deeds reguardless of the reward God gives

Afterall we strive and if not for Allah, then who?

Self will not get you far, as many from the rooms say so

So what if it was built, the 12 steps by christians

Ever read the 12 traditions, niether race, creed, religion, nor politics

Why must we all break eachother down?

WE are meant to stride for the earth

After all we are the care givers, as Allah said so

For he created us so, from the clay of the earth

We are one with the earth, so why not care for her

She is one of the bringgers of life, water which is most of the human body

Soil for the greens to grow, to flourish with the glory of Allah 

Putting stars, universes galaxies together

The wonders of humanity

Perhaps they strive to find the unknown

Why not God?

We find him when we hit rock bottom

For he is the high power, so many seek

With his merifcifulness we will find hope

Follow the knowledge

Read

Find truth

Leave the hate at home, away from your heart

Allah will comfort you, save you and love you more than your mother

Thank you Allah

Unknown as we are, we know 99 names

Their are so many more, I'm sure

Remeber we offer salat, not for Allah he does not need us

For self, to conquer your nafs

Have hope

That is With Allah

Beyond this abyss

Hopelessness lingers
Until the abyss
Is beyond the brim
Beyond repair
I stare
I'm there
Here to stay
As each dream turns from wonder to reality
I'm left pondering
With such fate
Will be able to bring the patterns of chaos to a halt
Until the times folds
I'm left pondering into the nights darkness
as insomnia burdens me
1am 2am 5am
I'm still here
Laying in my bed
Wandering into thy mind
upon time
I don't like these feelings
I'm barely me
stuck in this insanity
I ponder into the abyss
not loosing sight
for what right
Light
Hope
Peace
Serenity
this is for me
within my destiny
one can hope so anyways
until again

Released desire

Here I am
Starting over again
And again
Struggling with the desire of the bottle
I get thirsty
I crave it
But my rational mind
Processes this logic
And I abstain

The drink of forbidden deeds
It suggests
It destroy your heart and soul
Bring you away from God
Stray from the path

Why must I stay in this insanity

Nearly six months of sobriety
Only to lose myself in the mania
Where desires rule my heart

I wish I never took that drink

I twist and turn
My mind is lost
Only time will tell
Am I worth it
Oh God I ask you
Save me from this sanity
Ameen

Another time another day
Remember easy does it
Love self love God let go

God grant me sanity in serenity
Let the knowledge grow into wisdom
So that we don't fear the Unknown
Courage is needed
Never give up
Keep on striving
One day at a time