Frozen my heart

Upon this Day

Shall I gaze upon the frozen water ahead

To walk a path of solitude

Never bring peace to the end

The calm of the serenity within the storm

The blizzard on

The chaos bursting at the brim

Frozen is the water

Opening the way

To find serenity

To let one plea

Perhaps this is sought to be

Within destiny

I stand here wondering

That disaster of plunder

To follow the path

Frozen is the way

Bringing peace near and dear

Follow the way

The only way

Follow the Noor

To fight the darkness

To keep it at Bay

Within serenity

Let me finally breathe so deeply

1 2 3 breathe

Let me breathe

Upon this anxiety

For the deep breaths can save me

An unfamiliar feeling set in stone

Carnivorous is the deed

Unable to feel

Anxiety brings uncertainty

Uncertain of what the future holds

Uncertain of what to do

Standing here within my insanity

In the Infinite culture cycle

Drip drop on the dot

What will come of this?

Suffocating to the max

Unable to comprehend how to breathe so silently so deeply

So 1 2 3 breathe in 4 5 6 breathe out

Repeat

Holding on to hope

That there will be serenity

If one follows their Deen

Perhaps serenity can be sought

Hoping for freedom

Freedom of the emotions that rapidly turn

Swifting in and out swaying so lightly

On the roller coaster of disaster

A maniac on a rampage

Only to feel serenity one moment

Up up the stairs to Cloud 9

Does this define

What reality may be

Upon this time 

Remember to breathe

For that is Hope indeed

The neverending chaos

Conquered by the chaos

Wrecking to the brim

Unable to comprehend

This hope I feel inside

Conquered by the chaos

Striving for more

Follow the path to serenity

But one is stopped

By the Fate that be

Taking a twist and turn on the path

Unable to comprehend

Destruction here and there

Up down all around

Taking the Ecstasy of life

Conquered by the Nafs

Desires here there and where

Coming to me

I ready the blade

To write love on one's arm

For lost within hope

One struggles to gain

In this world so tainted

Will there ever be peace

Peace of mind

As those whispers conquer me so

A snicker here and a snicker there

To seek refuge in my Lord

To call upon him to gather the strength within

Standing tall, here I am

Unable to comprehend

But striving more to the ever never-ending cycle

To find myself here

Within the future that be

Will I conquer my soul

So I shall seek the lord always

For without him I truly am lost

Searching for the one

Help the darkness within

Find the light

Need the hope

Search for the happiness

Falling for nothingness

Wanting nothing but hope

Finding nothing but despair

As the eye is the beholder

Of the beauty of reality

And let me see what serenity

Is for me

Perhaps this is the day

For the trumpets are roaring

Triumph to success

Wanting happiness

Gaining peace

Bringing hope

Passing on

Wanting peace

Seeking reality

Is this meant to be

Perhaps I will truly see the one

Sriving for uncertainty

Creating chaos at The rim

Unable to comprehend what worthwhile hope is

Am I valuable?

For I feel worthless

Stuck in the abyss

Wanting to dismiss

Despair reading its spear

To pierce the heart ever so

To devastate

To create chaos

Calculated chaos at the brim

Bursting at the seams not knowing what to do

I Fall to my knees calling to my Lord

Reckoning that the light will save me

Perhaps this is right indeed

The Noor is here

To follow the light

To know the light

To want the light

Wanting to strive on in this world of despair

Anxiety to the max, an old familiar feeling

Uncertainty that I will win

I strive on always

Stronger at every moment

Around the bend I go running from the darkness

Hoping for light to come

Finding that with my Lord indeed

For he is the light that I seek

Allah The Almighty

Blessed Be

From you to me

To bring serenity

To want happiness

To bring the peace

Stopping destruction

Wanting more

Striving on

Will this be it?

Here I am

Walking my path of destruction

But always striving for the Noor

Upon tomorrow to come

Rise each day blessing thy Lord

Bismillah to start

Alhamdulillah to end

What must I comprehend?

That be hope

Hoping for today 

So tomorrow doesn't fade

The haze is here

I am but lost, not no more

For the light shines on

Shining through the mist

Of my heart and soul

Shall I dismiss?

Perhaps time will tell

What the heart seeks

For the light is near and dear

For the darkness is familiar

So seek the light for you will find hope there in 

To strive on

 Where to go from here

Lost in the abyss, trying to dismiss 

These emotions run through me rapidly 

Rapidly turning

As the corner comes to a sharp turn

As the darkness sleeps in to consume

Upon this time

Shall I ready the flame?

Shall I prepare myself for disaster?

Walking on the path of destruction

A 50/50 on life

Not knowing what to do but to strive only

To be content beyond the bend

To follow the light

Away from the darkness

Those Snickers follow you

And the visions come ever flowing

Will my sanity ever come?

Wondering upon this time

Well I simply be

Within this destiny

That's meant for thyself

With destruction in my heart

Wearing it on my sleeve

Pin cushion heart

Stick all the emotions inside me as they burn

Tears stripping down my skin

Unable to comprehend

What to do indeed

Perhaps I shall recite

Something that is needed

To seek refuge in the Lord the Almighty

So please let it be

From destruction to noor 

Upon this time to come

The not so far away future 

Will I survive? 

Upon this time to come

Destined to be stuck in destruction

To be content with disaster

To be humble within self

To strive always

Try not to give up

For I am strong

So perhaps you are too

Hardly There

Hard hitting emotions

Unable to think

Where to go

Happiness but an illusion

For it never stays

It's just a stage

Upon time to come

Reaping my humanity

As I lose myself

Within the carnage

And it's burns

The rage bearing in my heart

Where to go

Up to Cloud 9

To escape time

For time hurts the most

As we lose so much

But fear not

For we gain even more

To be full of insanity

Dusting off the shelves

Setting everything in its course

Unable to want more

To content even when

Hatred conquered my soul

Not be hate for others

But myself

I'm broken

Beyond the bend

What will my destination be?

Stuck in insanity

Save me from myself

Screaming so silently

I want more 

I'm not satisfied

I want happiness

Shall I reap in the happiness of emotions?

Perhaps in heaping amounts

What will come of my being?

Stuck here pondering

Hopelessness

Hatred

Love

Hope

Kindness

All around

Here in my mind

Destruction being stopped at the bay

I write my heart out

To save myself

Hoping

Fractured hope

Unable to hold on to

What is but this hope

Shall I find it somewhere?

Uncertainty sets in

I feeling long lost then

Something not felt for a long time

Something from the innocent days

An anxiety to the max

Unable to comprehend

Shall I reap myself of this compassion

For self that I have currently

Shall I ready the blade

To light the torch

Perhaps this is not the way

Shall I stay?

Within this world of dismay

I am screaming and crying for sanity to come

Am I not smart enough?

To be able to overcome the chaos

I'm stuck in this world tarnished indeed

Needing something

Wanting something

Just to be free

Free to be

Striking out

Striking in

Striving on

On to Trek

The Journey of life

Calculated chaos

Grasping hope but for a moment

Before despair conquers all

So here I am

Breathing

Being

Slightly having sanity

But criss cross in life

Insanity is here near and dear

Hoping to have some hope

Will that day come?

Shall there Be Peace of mind 

Well let there be

Seeking God the Almighty

In the time of need

For he hears all and knows your heart

So seek refuge in him alone

That itself is Hope

Dare not to forget

Having something

It runs through my

That losing of Hope

Having it one second

Losing grasp once again

Disappointed in the outcome

Of the dillusion

Comprehend what compassion is

Having hope within the heart is but a goal

Wanting something more

Ever so more

Now let's care

Shall we stare

Blankly at our nafs

Cleansing life

Let me be

Free of in insanity

So let me breathe so deeply

Do soundly

May my heart be right in the mighty light

Bringing peace

Wanting serenity

Will I get

Someday inshallah

Wanting something more

What will it be?

So unknown

Will this be what hope seems?

Bismillah

Let me breathe so soundly