The neverending chaos

Conquered by the chaos

Wrecking to the brim

Unable to comprehend

This hope I feel inside

Conquered by the chaos

Striving for more

Follow the path to serenity

But one is stopped

By the Fate that be

Taking a twist and turn on the path

Unable to comprehend

Destruction here and there

Up down all around

Taking the Ecstasy of life

Conquered by the Nafs

Desires here there and where

Coming to me

I ready the blade

To write love on one's arm

For lost within hope

One struggles to gain

In this world so tainted

Will there ever be peace

Peace of mind

As those whispers conquer me so

A snicker here and a snicker there

To seek refuge in my Lord

To call upon him to gather the strength within

Standing tall, here I am

Unable to comprehend

But striving more to the ever never-ending cycle

To find myself here

Within the future that be

Will I conquer my soul

So I shall seek the lord always

For without him I truly am lost

Ready To Go

 Where am I?

I find myself lost, on the edge

Wandering into the galaxies 

Star sprinkled bliss, ready to show you the way

Walking into the abyss, I'm left here pondering

Shall I shout and shout shout and scream it all out

Deadly deeds have arrived

Countering deaths deadly deed

Blood soak skin, will the flow ever stop

I am here, inside my head screaming for the forces to let me go

I want to be free, I never am

For hope is lost, at the moment dead inside

I reckon

Help me, no one cares

I am stuck in insanity, let that deem whats for me

I scream as the insanity bleeds into thy soul

I ready to let go, why must it be this way

Confusion of the heart mind and soul

Ready set go, another day, and another time

Bliss here there and everywhere

Just got to find a flake or too

I am ready to end this all, but I stop myself

There this time, I will stop

The devourer doesnt listen

To hate self, to maybe love self

To reach out, let go

Happiness is but an illusion of the heart

Depression is real and its ready to deal

Darkness leads to the abyss

Then it sucks thy soul

I am ready to let go

Though I am bounded by my emotions

Shall I rip tear to not care

I swear I do, even with a gaping hole in my soul

Now ready to let go

Please God save me from myself

Lets Go!

Ready To Lose

 I am Lost

Here I am being

Ripping my flesh and consuming

What will come of it

As a million stars scream

As the universe deems

I am here, pondering upon sanity

It always gets me, turning me upside down

Rip tear consume, ready set go

My left arm twitches now, for what

Nothing but the desire, the devouring is here

Ready set go, tick tack on the bend

As the tear drop, a million feeling

Ruptured, readying the blade

To slice and dice

Ready set go, hand me a knife

Ready to slit the flesh and consume

Dirty deeds, ready to feel

Chaos of the heart, needing to bleed

Crimson red bleeding here

Ready set go, I dont know what to do

I fucked

Pitter and Patter

Drip Drop Dripping on the spot
Near and dear, demanding so much
Upon this time, shouting so loudly at me
Making me tremble from the stress
Now it's a mess
Pattern here Pattern there
So many pitter patter
Does it matter?
Out my way, screaming so sightly
Having not a care, ready the flame
lighting upon thee flesh
Tarnished not so lightly
Does this mean, that I'm afraid
Sometimes, does that make me less
I fear myself more than anyone
Look at me, badges not so proudly
Depends on the time
1 2 3 4
Start again, hit the rythm
Sick and dreary, unspoken words
I am gone, beyond the bend
Where to go now?
Unable to cause what is deemed right or wrong
Ready set go, ready the blade
Crimsion bliss expells
Maybe I dont know what to do
Anymore
No one listens
Even if I scream
Beyond this reality
Yes I see
Pitter Patter, let's go with the patterns

Confusion

Bang bang Bang Bang

I I I

Free to be, even though the insanity

Clear as day, within the haze

Rapidly screaming, shouting, running

Is it with Glee?

Does it define me?

In this chaotic life

Cycle of doom

Ready

I am me, needing to be free

Can't stand to me tied up

No I won't settle, it's clear as day

Insanity is here

Confusion of the heart mind soul

Where do I stand with God, and where oh where shall I be?

Here I am, Free

Tell me one thing

Is it worth it?

All the frustration

Smart as I can be

It seems the confusion wins each battle

Distorted feelings that be within, outward they are

Present, I am here

Along for the ride

So Hold on

Next let Go to be Free

Falling in to the well of doom
Drowned in emotions to assume
It dank and dank down here
So something long forgotten lurks here
I thought I was free
Silly me
Far from thee light

I'm drifting
Wandering upon the dreams that come to thee
Here
Do you see
Beyond whats needed
Outside the box

Soaring upon the bliss

Wait this is but millisecond
I can hardly breath
Puff Puff Pass

Why cant I be free

Does the depression conquer the heart?
OR have the lungs die?

Both are the killer

I am me
Stuck beyond reality

Illusions here there everywhere
Visionary Yes its Scary

I am strong
But even weakness is here a tad to dear

Something is wrong
Within the nights mist
Snowing bliss

Here I am
Puff Puff Puffing
once again
for something other than the so called medication
Time to say
What needs to be said

I scream within my illusion hoping it to be my reality

Are you listening?
Do you hear me?
What is next?

Beyond the deadly deeds

I scream as insanity is what is clear to me

So let it be
Even within this destiny

Fate

As I sink
This my fate
To drown in sorrows
To die in the light
To be reborn
That's the key
I'm stuck on railroad
Coming to an end
To slice all the emotions
To let out the darkness
As the river runs loose
Chaos is near
Around the bend
Am I near an end?
As each emotion
Sucks me from reality
I'm here
Unable to breath
To suffocate in isolation
To drown
Let us devour
It is right
In this darkness
When will the light shine?
Ever since brightly
Tonight is the night
To end the fight
What will go on
For me
Stuck in this insanity
My mind can't expand beyond what is right
For me
In this chapter soon to come