Confusion of the heart

I half me
Stuck in this insanity
Is this what is me?
Within this reality
I'm lost I'm scared
I'm there
beyond repair
dare to stare
what is to be
I am me
even if I'm lost
stuck in the muck
the deep dank dark
Depression
Then sudden pain
that stings and burns
a stab to the heart
I'm Weak beyond repair
do I care?
dare to stare
I am me
stuck in this insanity
Raging on
ripping right through here
I'm in pieces
Barely there
I'm stuck in confusion
I'm free to be
me
even in the mind
I am confused
juggled
juggling sanity
does this define what is right
I'm barely me
what is my destiny
forget what is left
start anew
embraced confusion
let them stare
do I care
to stare beyond reality
I am me
barely hanging on

Let me Be

Send me across the sky
Into the distant stars
I'm a comet ready to soar
dashing by the asteroid belt I am
I gasp as I dash through the distant stars
Wonder where to go from here
I'm running
On a railroad round and round I go
on this emotional roller coaster
its like I light up and the emotions run
From high up to cloud 9
So blissful I am
shooting through the stars
Trying to find serenity
in thy heart it is
But I carry my weapons were ever I go
Even if peace
I show no mercy
For you cannot harm me
I beat you to it
I harm myself
hence being a shooting star
Down I fall as the rollercoaster goes
infinity down below I am burning as I go
I have found my destiny
First
Love self
To love self
is like to love another
Down I go
into the ocean as I burn to a crisp
star I am
Shotting star comet to be in the stars
But I'm a fallen angel
I fell from cloud 9 like it was nothing
am I nothing?
I shine bright
As the night begins to shroud the sunlight
a star within the ocean
calling God
To save me
Deliver from evil
Most of all
the Evil within the hearts of humanity
let us rejoice in one another brethren
Fellowship is needed
into God is one
Will his hand cast down to me
Bringing me to my knees
to Save me up to bring me to my serenity
I plea and plea
for His mercy upon me
but one is needed
A saviour is needed
And truly he was sent
defying evil
Jesus Lord and Savior
The Messiah to us all
In his name we breath
Amen
surrendering is never easy
even within my insanity
I can grasp the light
And with that golden hope
His smile
his kindness
surrounds me
Look at the stars and think of me
Hi
I'm borderline
do not let the labels define me
I am free to be
just BE
and that will be my sanity

2018 spring

I have hit a low these past several weeks I hide it well but my brick wall that protects is crumbling down burying me alive
My thoughts are surrounded by darkness and sweeps in the emotions that leads to emptiness and I just laying in bed trying to sleep yet in the day time I set out missions of freedom to calm me with Bliss these are every day things I do it the meli second
Free me streams inside of my heart and if I have the courage to handle the blade boy oh boy
Truly it will be gone