Everlasting Love

Love how do we comprehend it
It's so tarnished feeling
So we look to the Lord
To bring Grace to our hearts
His love is everlasting
Glory to him alone
Let his love flow unto me
As I bask in this light
I reckon this is for me
No more harm to be done on me
For this serenity
Is for me
Let me shout
In the mountains top
Jesus you are my Lord and Savior
You died for us
You paid the sin if not just today but past present future
I want to be with you
But I feel so slunken
The depression is here
Bearing my soul
I reach for you
My Savior
Remember I'm not perfect
I never been here before
I'm truthful
I'm sure
With this love I can conquer my spirit and soul
To be reborn
Born again
To I confess to you
My Lord and Savior
Bring me serenity
In his name we pray
Amen

Basking in the light

Here we go
On the path to Clarity
Oh lord almighty shine your light upon me
 I call upon you to show me the way
I know I'm not the best
not the greatest at this moment
but with your spirit and your light
I shall conquer all that hits me
no more cutting
no more strikes
no more burn

It will be hard to change
but with you
I shall pass this phases of self harm

I will not try
But do

I'm in this abyss
until your light shines upon me
up up we go in the end
past cloud 9
up to the golden gates
With the book of life
I shall redeem myself

The best of deeds are the smallest of deeds

I'm redeeming myself as we speak

I bask in your light Lord Christ Jesus Lord almighty Father and with that the holy ghost
shall bring spirit and grace
upon me
I am reborn
I am born again
for i was lost in the abyss

Oh Lord I call upon your life that you shed for us
To bring into clarity
and serenity
this is what is needed
to bask in light
warmth
and to battle the darkness
to conquer it
but without you I'm truly lost
to a plea with you stay close to me
in your name we  pray
Amen

This will be Now

I stand falling to my knees
I as I prostrate to thee
Allah almighty
I must confess to you with my heart
this pain
this monster than lies deep within me
Is here with me even within the sanity that is with you
Something familiar arises in thy soul
dare i say who
He conquers me so
I seek refuge in you oh Allah
because remember dua is the best

He still lingers
Of my mind
unable to cope
So dare i say
I'm free to be me within this insanity

he snickers and suggests and demands
tears run rapid down my cheers my eyes water
no time for tears
I'm ashamed
I'm not worth it
I'm tarnished
beyond repair

Why even bother saving me

I confess though in my heart and soul
that your the only God for me
not him
not his suggestions are unjust
unlike you oh Allah
you are loving
Merciful
Forgiving
Just
Without you the world truly would be lost

I feel lost within emotions
my heart says Islam is the way but i still doubt self
how can one love self 100%
not attainable for me
not yet
never

Oh Allah
Save me from my self
purify my heart
bring the Rage to Bliss
unable to conquer the darkness
left to fight tis battle on wards
its truly my jihad my struggle the insanity
i don't think anything else but you will help
Even now I don't want to be
even in this sanity I drift
and doubt
so remember you always in dkhr
you are the only one worthy of worship
One God One Love One Life

I seek refuge in Allah From the accursed Satan
Ashadu la illah allah ashadu muhammedan rusuallah
Allahu akbar
With you
I Cannot this alone
so in remembrance to you only I will try and try again
and return to you always...

Honest Grace

Here I am once again
Standing at a light
A Holiness
That shines through me
I see his hand reach for me
I shudder
Thinking it's his wrathful fist onto my gentle soul
Instead is warm and gentle
Is this what is meant to be loved by thy Lord
I bend my knee to him
Only him
The most high
I whisper in my heart
To him only
Will you heal my tarnished soul
It breaks at every emotion that runs havoc
Only if those I loved dearly
Do I understand now
That it was a test
So I confess to you oh Lord of light
Will you mend my heart and soul
So that I may walk with you and your Grace
Let it consume the darkness
In the dead of night
That whisper into my heart
Breaks me away
From the most high
King of Kings
In his name I praise and pray
Amen