Conquered

As the sun rises

I find myself conquered

But not in dismay

In Serenity's time

The hurt will fade away

Bringing something that has been lost

The hope to overcome the hopelessness

To stop the crimson from flowing

To stop those Snickers in the head

To seek refuge

To need peace

Where to find this indeed

Salah is needed

Allah does not need it he does not need anything 

He's absolute and all knowing

Prayer is for you

As It centers oneself

You feel the noor come in

Breathing so lightly

As one recite so briefly

It seems like seconds go by as you recite

Within the insanity blessed be

Confusion to the max not knowing what to do

I tried to center myself to Allah 

Do not lose my temper to not let the chaos bring destruction

For this is time of serenity

Blessed be in this insanity

Confusion not knowing what to do

But by instinct I do

I Fall to my knees and prostrate 

To the Almighty

Allah I seek You Even in this confusion and abyss of delusion

I find myself with the serenity with you

Finding myself not knowing what to do

To reflect on society to reflect on self to reflect on their Deen

I am here conquering my nafs

And I seek refuge in God always

For Chelsea

As the time

Bears witness

To a date

To ponder upon Time

To wander into the Galaxy skies

Devastation in the mind

Hopelessness narrows here

Here there everywhere

Upon this time

I hear a call

The Angels sing

Wanting nothing but peace

Peace of mind piece of soul

Pondering what will come in this night to be

Wondering what is wondrous indeed

To not give in to the darkness

To fight that darkness

To give yourself hope

For the light is knocking on your soul

Screaming to let it in

Will you open the door for it

Perhaps peace will find you then

Thoughts

Where you start

I'm on my knees

Pleading with my sanity

Times get you down

Some more than most

Ok is it

Upon just being

Wanting

Surviving

Caring

Where do we find ourselves

When darkness is no longer bleak

The light is almost out

Here I am

Devouring flesh

Consuming Insanity

Do I plea, and plea

Stuck

Hating self

Wanting more to end it all

Am I selfish?

For taking this path

I scream so softly

The skyline is high

Higher than you can be

 This is what's mentally to be

The guilt isn't much to live on

Raging here and there

Breath

Just breath

To suffocate

To hang

To burn

To cut

Self is made

Really does this mean, it's meant to be

Here I am

Pondering upon the deeds

To strive

To have society build and burn

To forget the past

To welcome the present

Will I ever hope for the future?

Will the darkness get me ?

Let it be

The Chains

I am here
Finally at the door
Do not dismiss
This is bliss

To break the chains
That bound my soul
To do the evil deed

To break
To fall into a million shifts in reality
I scream
Is this meant for me
Beyond the insanity
Must this be

To carve out the engraved
To not murmur
The old ways
Tying this whole hearted

I breath beyond the abyss

Do I miss what's near the bliss
That old Devil will sink in my heart
But to prevail over falsehood

I confess with all my heart
Deemed for all
That light that hope
To break
To be
To ponder
What's next for me but recovery
From the illusion

They shift and then cause chaos
Of mind and soul

I rebuke you demons

In the name of Lord and saviour
Who will be named
But King of Kings
Jesus Christ
That's his name
For he is the word
From of light
That might be too break the false reality

Beyond this abyss

Hopelessness lingers
Until the abyss
Is beyond the brim
Beyond repair
I stare
I'm there
Here to stay
As each dream turns from wonder to reality
I'm left pondering
With such fate
Will be able to bring the patterns of chaos to a halt
Until the times folds
I'm left pondering into the nights darkness
as insomnia burdens me
1am 2am 5am
I'm still here
Laying in my bed
Wandering into thy mind
upon time
I don't like these feelings
I'm barely me
stuck in this insanity
I ponder into the abyss
not loosing sight
for what right
Light
Hope
Peace
Serenity
this is for me
within my destiny
one can hope so anyways
until again

Everlasting Love

Love how do we comprehend it
It's so tarnished feeling
So we look to the Lord
To bring Grace to our hearts
His love is everlasting
Glory to him alone
Let his love flow unto me
As I bask in this light
I reckon this is for me
No more harm to be done on me
For this serenity
Is for me
Let me shout
In the mountains top
Jesus you are my Lord and Savior
You died for us
You paid the sin if not just today but past present future
I want to be with you
But I feel so slunken
The depression is here
Bearing my soul
I reach for you
My Savior
Remember I'm not perfect
I never been here before
I'm truthful
I'm sure
With this love I can conquer my spirit and soul
To be reborn
Born again
To I confess to you
My Lord and Savior
Bring me serenity
In his name we pray
Amen

Everlasting tug-o'-war

Rip and burn I'm in this Everlasting tug of war
Does anyone care that I scream on the inside
You criticize me as though I am no one
And no one has a seem to be
I am limitless in my desire
Unable to rationalize
Letting the irritability rise
Having Havoc conquer the heart
What shall I do now
I just want to go across the river
The burn the flesh so slightly so
These are the old ways
I scream in my heart is so no one listens
Boy am I wrong
There is but one that listens
That is he the most high that is God may you find him now
I am told that I need to speak to God more often
I only speak to God when I'm forsaking myself
I'm lost in the abyss barely reaching the surface for air
Tarnished in my soul
Many scars burden my body
Round up those badges on my arms
unable to face the persecution of those eyes that watch me
a friend said to me that I have to stop listening to those around me and start focusing on me and my serenity

hi my name is Lindsey hi my name is borderline hi my name's rage hi my name is depression

let those labels Roll On by they do not Define me and I know who I am deep inside
for I hope that my deed that I do for others inhumanity bring a Serenity to our hearts
I do good deeds regardless of the reward I do good deeds because it's the right thing to do
But I rather do a good deed to someone else then do a good deed to myself
So I'm left here in the abyss struggling for air unable to cope
depression is taking its toll and confliction of the Heart Is Here whatever shall I do

Only Time Will Tell
As  time is endless

Clarity over comes Insanity

I'm falling
i don't want to be this way
why cannot not i strive for the good
instead i follow the deadly deeds
of the insanity

Oh Allah
I call upon you
to grant me serenity
clarity to the insanity

I fall to my knees
and call upon  you
for dua only to you
alhamduillah
for you Allah and the Noble Quran
Thank you for revealing it to Prophet Muhammad SAW
he was gentle and kind
the best of the best
Alhamduillah
he the seal of the prophets
who would be better than Muhammad SAW

La illah Allah
I love you of Allah
Even when i don't love my self
I feel your serenity
so i pray
to you only
your the only one who understands
Allahu Allim
Only God knows
what will come tomorrow
so live for today
and bring good cheer
the smallest of deeds are the best of deeds
Remember a smile is a kindness and good deed