Lost always

I feel this in my heart as well as thy mind
Twist and turn
Whispers emerging from the heart
Until I'm here
#34
Stuck to consume
What drifts
In my heart
Turns to the mind
The darkness
The emptiness
Sanity far from here
I sit here
Pondering upon time
What's left for me?
To consume
A desire to control
To cut that flesh
To rip and turn
To take the flame to the skin
I don't deserve anything
I'm left crying
Holding it all in
And now it rips and burns
As every emotion turns to a wreck
Where am I?
Left in this place
To ponder until
I am sane
I'm stuck in the insanity
My mind is a wreck
My heart has sunken
In the emotions
I'm drowning
Whispers
They snicker
They tarnish the soul
I'm left here pondering
What will my outcome be
Will the 34 help
Uncertain is this
Here once again
What's a safety net
I'm lost
In the abyss of thy mind
What shall I do
To cope with the blade
To burn with the flame
It's my sanity
I'm left
In the abyss
Do I miss what is right
Am I wrongful?

In my deeds

Repair

To torment the mind
Beyond repair
To swell in emotion
To drown in tears
To express
Through the blade
To touch the skin
To burn the flesh
All these
Are escapes from the real reality
To cope
To express
To mend
Am I just?
To reap tears
To express Beyond repair
To wallow
To suffocate
To suffer
Meant for me
Within this insanity
Dare to care
Beyond what
To swell with emotion
Do I care
To express
It's here
Do I care
Do I need to care
To be in repair
I'm scared
Of the unknown
To ponder
Beyond the box I am
I stare
To care
To self reflect
What is next...

Today to Care

As the minutes
Turn to hours
I'm stuck here
In my solitude
Of the white room
With the camera staring down at me
I feel every emotion
Twist and turn
Unable to take the blade
Unable to cope
I'm here
Beyond insanity
There's a calm
Before the storm
And it will be well worth
The end
Is near
Is this best
I will be missed
For but a millisecond
The world will move on
Vanishing within the day

What shall this bring

Shall I oppressed?
beaten down?
barely able comprehend, is it time?
To rise and shine
to ready this time
its the endless block of life
I am here
beaten to the ground
so much that my spirit is twisted
Am I me?
Within my destiny
shall I reap
I stand tall
to beat oppression
to stand for truth
Compassion is needed for this
walk within what we think is reality
To drift upon the universe I'm here
not knowing what is next
unable to control whats right even if proven wrong
here I within my destiny
to burn
to suffer
I suffocate until its time
do I define
what my reality is
and brings me near to death
knocking on a demons door
waiting to see who answers
death her self
Gasping suffocating oppressed
I am gone
I am not right...

Confusion of the heart

I half me
Stuck in this insanity
Is this what is me?
Within this reality
I'm lost I'm scared
I'm there
beyond repair
dare to stare
what is to be
I am me
even if I'm lost
stuck in the muck
the deep dank dark
Depression
Then sudden pain
that stings and burns
a stab to the heart
I'm Weak beyond repair
do I care?
dare to stare
I am me
stuck in this insanity
Raging on
ripping right through here
I'm in pieces
Barely there
I'm stuck in confusion
I'm free to be
me
even in the mind
I am confused
juggled
juggling sanity
does this define what is right
I'm barely me
what is my destiny
forget what is left
start anew
embraced confusion
let them stare
do I care
to stare beyond reality
I am me
barely hanging on

within this night

Here I am
within this time
as its endless
to forget
in the bliss
is it worth while?
now is a time
to be
within the insanity
calm before the storm
I feel that this is destiny
with making a deal with the old devil
is it right
in this night
as time goes throughout the bliss
do i dismiss
within this
I'm stuck deep in this emotion
to be buried
in my own personal hell
as i push and twist and turn those around me
i want to be with them
but the emotion rips
and tears
and let the tears swell up
to burn the skin gently so
I am here
being me
stuck in the insanity of thy mind
do i define
what is mine
personal hell
I'm here
near and dear to the heart
why must this be!
what shall I do?
but to ponder as the sunsets
and when she arises
the time has reset
another day another deed
will this suddenly be reality
is this my destiny
perhaps its time to be
here I am being
this is right
within the time of the day
I can cope
barely here
lost in the abyss of the bliss

Trapped in Time

To ponder upon reality
To look within the mist
As my railroad
Comes to an end
In this cycle of life
I'm here
Screaming with the insanity
Here I am
Within my Destiny
Here being
Within the rage
Razor Sharp emotions
To rip and tear
My every being screams
Is it time
To be
Within this destiny
That hate is here
I scream
That I am
Free
To be
Free
To be
Insane
Insanity is a must
That I ponder upon time
All there is it's time
Never ending
On going
Endless
Trapped
Within the solitude
To begin
Again and again
Here that I am
Wanted
Needed
Heard
Speak up!

Dift within the Bliss

To swift in the light fate of the heart
I am here
One to be
Like is this destiniy
of the bliss
for if I miss
I dift
ever so lightly
To jerk right to striaght down to the left
For the night is bright
Must I dismay
That perhaps I shall cave
To fall
To sink
Fall into the sunken abyss
What shall I do?
Is it right?
Perhaps
I'm here

Bottle me up
Here I am
Within the mist
Swallowing darkness

Burning flesh
Here I am
Repeating
As each tear drips
To burn the skin
More than that dancing flame

Bury me up
Suffocate now
I don't want to feel
For the boundaries
Are fleeing
Here I am
Vulnerable as I can be
Within this destiny
I am me
Free
Alone
Dead
Reborn

Here I am
With my barriers defeated
To put a boundary up
Its needed
Time to scream
With the destiny
Am I me
Shall I reap
This must be
Fate

Rerun

To run
To be free
Is this my destiny?
I am here standing
Ready to take the leap
Is it for joy?

Here standing at the edge of the abyss

Ready for the fight
Instead I jump into flight
Run be free
Scream in the insanity
this must be
What is meant to be

I scream
For my cure
Deep breaths
To the thorax
to balance the Chi

I here this must be my fate
stuck in a rut
able to cope
But stuck within the flesh

Sunken within the midst of the abyss

I suffocate
What shall be?
Is this what destiny is?
Why must you forsaken me?

Will this be
what is meant to be
within this insanity
For Clarity
is meant to be

To be reborn
for the fate

As I drift within the footprints in the sand

Time is set
Time will tell
What is meant to be?
In this clarity!

To Share

We the people are destined here
As each voice is heard Beyond repair
Shall I care?
As each one shouts out like it's nothing but short of real life
Some of us have hit rock bottom
Somewhere up to the brim
And some so Beyond repair
Thought I stare
So I truly care
I shout out loud
As those eyes stare at me
To shout and let it all out
I have a testimony of my mind is here
Has one voice is heard many will be repeated beyond their repair
So we stare
Truly to care
Are we stuck in the Bliss
Within the mist of the abyss
A beacon of light is here near and dear to the heart
United we stand
Never alone
Never to fall to the ground
But the float within the abyss within all the Bliss
Small wisp in this time
As we stay
Within the light
To shout and let it all out
To share...

On the way to Light

Basking in the light
I am here, near and dear
Where am I to start
To feel a sense of reborn
Within the light
Sunlight is near and dear
To bask in the glory of blistering stars
ever so lightly, dare i say inspire
My thoughts drift into the unknown
the abyss that's with the midst of insanity
Where to look from here
Am I meant to be?
Am I right. within this light?
That's sense to be within this insanity
Darkness follows me
Is within me
One can not be within light without a little darkness
Shes breaths within this unity
AM I me?
Within this light
I feel like part of me have had been drifted
Drifted in this light as what was before
The majority of that being was the darkness in the abyss
It was sickening
Hitting a rock bottom
Revive me
I'm here to be me
within this Light
I stair upon thee
This must be me
Ready for the lift
Into the abyss
so longer sunken
But full of Bliss
In the abyss
Unknown is what is next